dhend Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Okay first post In here! I'm 21 and I've been seeing this girl on and off for 6 years. We broke up about 2 years ago and it lasted 6 months, I thought I was over her and then BAM, right back in my life. 2 years ago when we broke up, I started dealing drugs cuz I needed money... She needed work and ended up working for me, needless to say we got back together and she dumped her boyfriend for me. We moved out together and we were both still selling, one day I got caught and I ended up going 12 grand in debt between existing bills and the drug debt when a worker off mine had his house raided, my girlfriend was not working at this time and money was TIGHT! Times were tough, and we took a break. I wasn't paying the bills because I was not working. We banged over the few month break and called it " courting " we got back together and I had a new job, I've been paying bills for the past 4 months that we have been back together, the downside was that I did not have a lot of motivation to do anything besides sit indoors or see my friends. She is a really outgoing person, she loves camping and fishing etc, things that I don't mind doing but haven't had the chance too really do anything because I've been paying the bills. Yesterday she hit me with the " I wanto have a talk, is iant good but it isn't bad " and I basically said cut the crap, if you respect me tll me because I already know what's going to happen. She said she wants to break up because we don't share " common interest ". I can see where she is coming from, since I have been very boring lately. and mom raised me right so I will not beg or plead. I'd like a womans opinion, we are supposed to meet tonite for coffee and talk and I have valid reasons as to why I have been the way I am. But before I do I'd like to know your guys opinions, is there more behind it? Because I am almost out of debt and my jail term starts in 3-4 months. She sais she still wants to be friends, that were " soul tied "
KaliLove Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 You need to sort your life out before you try to have a relationship with anyone. Pull it together kid. 1
Author dhend Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Thanks, and when we got back together 4 months ago that was the issue why we had previously broken up. I have been doing good, working and paying bills.
hoping2heal Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Thanks, and when we got back together 4 months ago that was the issue why we had previously broken up. I have been doing good, working and paying bills. Does "boring" mean you haven't been using/selling drugs? I think if you're serious about cleaning up your act - and you would be wise to do so - then you two probably aren't going to work unless she is serious about cleaning up her act. But, if she was willing to deal drugs I don't think that's the kind of decision someone makes off the top of their head like "I think I'll have blueberries on my pancakes". I think this girl will probably just bring you down and you really don't need that.
Author dhend Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 No, boring isn't because I havent been selling or using, both our acts are clean. I just haven't had much time to go out, go camping, etc... She went camping this weekend and I think she thinks I'm not up to do anything. I have been sending off the wrong vibes. She had her act together long before I did btw.
d0nnivain Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Use your time in jail to do some serious soul searching & hopefully find a way to turn your life around. 1
hoping2heal Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 No, boring isn't because I havent been selling or using, both our acts are clean. I just haven't had much time to go out, go camping, etc... She went camping this weekend and I think she thinks I'm not up to do anything. I have been sending off the wrong vibes. She had her act together long before I did btw. You and I are going to disagree with that being that she put herself at risk by choosing to sell drugs. Your **** is together and you decide to sell drugs?! I think not. I'm not even standing on a moral soapbox on this one either. Take morality out of it; the damage to your reputation, safety, and possible detriment to your future / career and then there's jail, prison, fines...it's just plain not smart. So, no I don't exactly agree she was as together as maybe you think. But, I guess you and I will just have to have different opinions. You're trying to turn your life around and that's great - she should be supportive and she isn't. Writing on the wall. Why aren't you camping? Because you have to work or because you're moping on your floor in a bedroom somewhere?
Author dhend Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 The drug dealing has been LONG over for the past YEAR in our relationship. I have been working STUPID hours and odd jobs every chance to pay it off, and I almost am.
hoping2heal Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 That is what I had suspected, that you couldn't "go out and play" because you had to work. 1. Good for you, that is commendable and you should be proud of yourself. 2. She comes across as immature. I said it before, she should be supporting you. You're doing the right thing - and that means some sacrifices now for a better "later" she doesn't seem to get the concept. I think you'll find a better match elsewhere
Author dhend Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Thanks for the reply. Its been hard trying to stay on top of bills and the fact that she was getting bored, I didn't see it coming( this quick). Just last week, I felt she was kinda distant so I was gonna talk to her, a few hours later I receive a bunch of nudes on facebook so I put it off. Some of the bills we had were in her name when we lived together, hydro billl got racked up, credit card etc. So I made it important to pay it off. I feel as if she found somebody who shares her interests, or something idk. She has texted me things like " your my first love, I'm soul tied, this is hard but we do better when were alone" I have heard these things in our prior breakups. I will update after coffee in a few hours, she wanted to meet up and talk about it.
Strength in Healing Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 I started dealing drugs ... ...mom raised me right Lmao...... Anyways, stop breaking the law. You gotta get your head on straight. Go to school. You can change your life for the better... And did I mention, stop breaking the law. I don't want you to end up in the back of one of the cruisers..
Author dhend Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Incase u forgot to read.... That's old news. I got laid off my carpentry apprenticeship and have NOBODY to rely on, I had to make a choice either I live on the streets or sell a little drugs. It didn't last long
David87 Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 She doesn't want to get back together, she just wants to be friends. Meet with her if your ok with that.
Author dhend Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Update. Seen her last night for coffee, and we came to a mutual agreement. It was extra boring and I have been really stressed, we rarely go out, etc. The funny thing is how well we hit it off over coffee, it was like a completely different scenario than I was expecting. She said she hasn't seen me smile that much for months, and she was smiling too. She said she would like to be friends, and see me etc. She even told me shed like to see me on my birthday( may 6th). The truth is I think this is just a classic " I'm bored and I need to spice it up" because last nite, when we went out and talked I had a great time I know she did too, because she said " this is what I like Much better time than the usual come over and hang out with you on my days off. I felt a connection with her last nite that I haven't felt in along time, even under the circumstances. I'm gonna take this time to work on myself, but I would still like to be with her.
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