Guys is this article true about the intial stages of dating/falling in love

[CherryBlossom200]

Hey everyone

 

I found this article online and thought it was quite interesting...it's supposed to be how a man falls in love, thought it was quite brutal! But also, think it might be right? What do you think?

 

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We all, men and women alike, might feel the same things when we are in love but, the journey to love is an entirely different experience. When women fall in love, they are filled with bursts of happiness and other mixed feelings a man will never be able to comprehend, men on the other hand, are completely different. You see, unlike women, that experience intense surges of affections as soon as they meet a guy, men feel something completely different when they meet a woman. This article is here to show you the phases and the journey a man goes trough before he eventually loves a woman.

 

Phase 1. The “I Like You” Phase Unfortunately, men are very shallow creatures. This initial stage is all about instant physical attraction. If you ever thought a guy initially liked you as a person…oh boy! how wrong were you. Some women may fall in love during the first conversation but sadly, in the beginning stages men are only attracted by a woman’s physical appearance. Don’t be fooled by the “physical appearance” statement. It does NOT mean the whole package. Every man is different and likes different things about a woman. For example, most men are attracted by breasts (may it be small or large) and also by your curvy behind (again, may it be small or large). More sophisticated men (and usually older – over 25) are attracted by smaller things such as lips, eyes, nose and even the way you gracefully move or act in the presence of a man…it’s never about the whole package but more about our specific appeal in women. Sometimes a guy may not even realize what appeals to him in a woman, but if he has such feelings, he will begin the “I Like You” phase.

 

Phase 2. The Scouting Phase Most guys like a lot of women for many reasons and as a result they will “scout” and see which one of them will respond to their advances. Yes, we men try to get as many women as we can, at any given time. It’s only when a girl has passed the “scouting” phase (by accepting our small advances) that we begin to focus our attention only on her. These advances are very discreet and are not upfront flirting. We basically need that little confirmation that if we do start to chase you, something will happen. Even though we like her, in this stage we don’t really care about the outcome so, if she rejects us, doesn’t respond to our advances etc we generally don’t feel a thing and move on to other women that we like. Sure, there are exceptions, but generally this is how guys think at this point.

 

Phase 3. The Chase If a woman we liked gave even the slightest positive response to our advances, we will start the chase. Sometimes those signs aren’t even obvious, we just believe in ourselves that you like us back and as a result we start the chase. The chase is all about winning your attention. In this stage our aim is to get you to notice us and understand that we are into you. Once this has become clear, and you have given us a shot (by agreeing to go out with us etc) we move into the next phase.

 

Phase 4. The “I’m Going To Impress You” Phase By this time some women are actually starting to fall in love, but us men, are not even close to it. This whole stage is all about impressing you. We do everything in our power to show you that we are a worthy mate. We plan dates, flood you with gifts and generally trying to make you happy whilst hoping to really impress you. It’s in this stage that many women (that have held out, until now) give in to the guy’s advances.

 

Phase 5. The “I Want You To Love Me” Phase If we are having success so far, we want to know that you love us. Gaining your love and commitment is our utmost highest achievement. Instead of falling in love ourselves, in this stage, all we worry about is how to make you fall in love with us. In this stage we might even show our relationship skills thus proving that we are indeed a lifelong partner. You might have already fallen in love by this stage but, this is when we need to see it.

 

Phase 6. The Decision Phase If we get into this stage it means you’ve clearly expressed your feelings and we know that we have managed to have your love and commitment. Now, unfortunately for both parties involved, all we did up until this point was to prove to you that we are indeed “exactly” what you are looking for in a man. Because of this, 2 core problems arise: We weren’t actually being our 100% selves, so the man you’ve fallen in love with isn’t exactly the man you think he is. We never wondered if you’re actually right for us since our desire to impress you was based purely on our INITIAL physical attraction. It’s at this phase when we finally start to wonder if a real relationship may blossom here. It’s at this point when we start to actually observe you as a real person (and I know this may sound shallow) and see if we actually like you in this department.

 

Finally, it’s at this stage when we decide if you are worth trying a long term relationship with. We ask ourselves: Do I love her? Do I want to be with her? Will I be happy with her? Is she the woman I want? It’s easy for us, even at this stage, to dismiss a girl based on some seemingly pointless reasons but its how we are as a species. We are genetically engineered to “spread thy seed” so the girl that we do eventually decide to love and be with has to be perfect from our perspective – but it’s also the same for you…the only difference is that you probably make up your mind sooner. Phase 7. The “I Love You” Phase If the decision stage was negative, it’s at this stage when the guy will either dump you if you had a short relationship or start ignoring you if you guys just had a fling. On the other hand, if he decided he does want to give love a try, he is now ready for it. The next few months 3-4 will be the best stages of any relationship. He will give in to his feelings and be overwhelmed with love. You will start to see him taking care of you, acting jealous and all the other great things about love. It may seem harsh and unrealistic that a guy has to DECIDE whether or not he wants to fall in love, but we don’t always rationalize what we are doing – these things are imbedded into us at an instinctual level and the fact that we DENY love early in these phases is only because it’s our defense mechanism preventing us from getting hurt.

Edited April 16, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[salparadise]

I recognized it as BS in the first couple of paragraphs... not even interested enough to read the whole thing. For example, "in the beginning stages men are only attracted by a woman’s physical appearance" is utter bull$hit. Who the heck sets themselves up as authoritative and then proceeds to make such sweeping generalizations? it's not even entertaining, and certainly not credible.

Edited April 16, 2014 by salparadise

[shet]

People that write dreck like this are the ones who need to post on LS so they can get shredded for their bull**** by other people. Unfortunately the nature of editorial is that it's all opinion. This is just one persons opinion, one misguided person.

[somedude81]

The flow of things does seem correct if some minor details are ignored.

 

One thing though, lets not pretend that women aren't visual and shallow as well.

 

There is a reason that men have to enter the scouting phase and see which women will respond. Frankly I believe that women are pickier about looks than men are.

 

The average women has tons of men expressing interest in her in throughout her daily life. How does she filter out the vast majority of those men? By how they look. If she's not physically into a guy, she will be cold and not let him get close to her.

[CherryBlossom200]

I feel it's pretty right from my own dating experience, esp the bit about the girl falling first...its almost like the guy 'needs' to know you are into him before he feels safe to be able to fall for you.

[somedude81]

its almost like the guy 'needs' to know you are into him before he feels safe to be able to fall for you.

That seems about right.

 

It really sucks to fall in love with a girl, completely expose yourself to her, and she end up dumping you because of it.

 

Aside from that excruciating pain, it means that the guy has to start all over again from the beginning, and from my point of view, the whole process sucks.

 

For once in my life I'd like to be desired by somebody who meets my standards.

[CherryBlossom200]

So do you almost kind of subconsiously hold off from falling in love with the girl before you know for sure she likes/loves you and then you allow yourself to fall for her? Hard for the girl because it's almost like we have to bare our soul first!!!

[2.50 a gallon]

Total hogwash from my point of view.

 

I like the part about being shallow and only interested in the looks. I didn't know shallow could be in our DNA. I have only been in love a few times. And the tipping point when I fell in love with them always took place after we had had sex. And in order for me to be able to sexually perform, i.e. get an erection, she had to fall into the Goldilocks zone. Not too tall, not too short, not to thin and not too round. I was only interested in kissing those with pretty faces.

 

No such thing as a scouting phase, as I was forever on the look out for another pretty face to kiss.

 

Other than sex and pretty faces to kiss, most women would not be a part of my life. I was too busy with my hobbies. Why waste and take time away from my hobbies with a woman that I was not interested in kissing or bedding.

 

And if I was going to take that extra step and fall in love, she also had to have great shapely legs. And most important a face I can kiss good morning to for the rest of my life.

 

As for the falling in love part, that is still pretty much a mystery to me. I dated lots of beautiful women in my life. Other than one time, if I was going to fall in love with her, it always happened within the first few dates.

 

And why I fell in love with her over another pretty face, is still a mystery to me.

 

For example, over the next 14 years after my divorce I dated at least a 100 women. Included in there was one long term on again off again relationship with a gal who was a dozen years younger than me. Very good looking, worked out and had a stunning hard body, and she had brains we could talk for hours, in fact weekends. She was also very wealthy, and I could easily have chosen a life of leisure, as she was in love with me and wanted to have my kids. But there was just something missing, that I never could fall totally in love with her.

 

Then along comes my current lady, second date, first kiss, and I was in love.

[Frank2thepoint]

Those phases are generally accurate, good ballpark rundown on how a guy approaches a relationship with a woman, at least in respect to myself. But at my age, I no longer only assess physical looks (phase 1). I pay attention to her body language, if she is also eyeballing me as well, reciprocates a smile, how she carries herself (is it relaxed, uptight and haughty, or shy). I've also noticed that I tend to get stuck at phase 4, because the woman decides not to give in to me and commence a relationship.

 

This whole breakdown of logical steps is actually very exhausting, with some individual phases being more exhausting than others, such as phase 2 and 3. Honestly, I wish women were a little more like men considering assessing physical attraction, because that way a woman can outright say "it's not happening" as soon as a guy approaches the woman. It would save so much time and effort, rather than getting hopes up as a man progresses through these phases, only to be let down halfway.