Valen Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I see this happening all the time. Even people who tell me "don't dip your pen in the company's ink" has eventually broken that rule. I don't see how this can be avoided. Do you strictly adhere to this rule of not dating in the workplace? Lately I have been struggling with this issue. There is this girl from work whom we both share mutual attraction. We talk about going out but we have yet to pull the trigger. I think we both are afraid if it doesn't work out, it will make work uncomfortable. On the other hand, I have also witness couples who met at work and gotten married. It's a gamble I guess, what do you all think?
ja123 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 She/he would have to be something really special, in order to take that gamble. 2
David87 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I usually avoid this kind of situations because when a relationship ends I don't want to see my ex every day.It's awkward. It's up to you. 3
organizedchaos Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I usually avoid this kind of situations because when a relationship ends I don't want to see my ex every day.It's awkward. It's up to you. In addition, is anyone worth possibly losing your job over if things go bad? It can happen. And then how do you explain your termination in job interviews? You need to think things through. Ive been to so many sexual harassment training sessions to know what can happen. Its not worth it. 3
Omei Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I wouldn't ever wanna date a co worker unless it was on total different shifts. Being apart in the days of your life gives you conversation and experiences you can share I think a relationship could get so stale if you worked with them you would know everything about their day at every moment and it would worsen if you lived together also 2
superb Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I see this happening all the time. Even people who tell me "don't dip your pen in the company's ink" has eventually broken that rule. I don't see how this can be avoided. Do you strictly adhere to this rule of not dating in the workplace? Lately I have been struggling with this issue. There is this girl from work whom we both share mutual attraction. We talk about going out but we have yet to pull the trigger. I think we both are afraid if it doesn't work out, it will make work uncomfortable. On the other hand, I have also witness couples who met at work and gotten married. It's a gamble I guess, what do you all think? I have not and wouldn't ever date a coworker...even working 50-60 hrs a week with them can build all types of.friendships BUT a.relationship is way different. Expectations, jealousy, fights etc. Relationships are hard enough as it is...why.complicate it further.
irc333 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 (edited) Believe it or not, where I work there are probably 3 to 4 couples that are married or in long term relationships with each other. I was actually quite shocked to find this out considering how the dating world sees this as a bad idea. Of course, it might get awkward flirting with a woman there without her boyfriend walking in on the conversation. LOL They even drive to work together. One of the dept supervisors hired his own girlfriend to work for him. I see this happening all the time. Even people who tell me "don't dip your pen in the company's ink" has eventually broken that rule. I don't see how this can be avoided. Do you strictly adhere to this rule of not dating in the workplace? Lately I have been struggling with this issue. There is this girl from work whom we both share mutual attraction. We talk about going out but we have yet to pull the trigger. I think we both are afraid if it doesn't work out, it will make work uncomfortable. On the other hand, I have also witness couples who met at work and gotten married. It's a gamble I guess, what do you all think? Edited April 16, 2014 by irc333
irc333 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 In addition, is anyone worth possibly losing your job over if things go bad? It can happen. And then how do you explain your termination in job interviews? How could you loose your job? What, the boss calls you in the office, "I'm sorry, but since you've ended your relationship with Shirley, the company is going to have to end our relationship with you."?
Emilia Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Haha maybe I should start posting on threads where I agree with the majority of the posters. I said for years I'd never do it but ended up seeing someone at work and we aren't together anymore. It has to be the kind of person who isn't gossipy (we both agreed on that from the beginning) and either work at a different department of feel that your job is a disposable one. Ironically, don't know what this says about me , since we stopped seeing each other, we have been working very well together. He even put my name forward for a minor company award and I've helped him with info he doesn't usually have access to (all within company guidelines, we just didn't have this kind of interdepartment communication before). So I guess depends on the people. Yes it would be easier if I didn't see him every day but then again I got to know him really well from how he handled this - and vice versa. He is an awesome guy, love the way his mind works, shame we want very different things long term.
ASG Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Believe it or not, where I work there are probably 3 to 4 couples that are married or in long term relationships with each other. I was actually quite shocked to find this out considering how the dating world sees this as a bad idea. Of course, it might get awkward flirting with a woman there without her boyfriend walking in on the conversation. LOL They even drive to work together. One of the dept supervisors hired his own girlfriend to work for him. Yeah, one of the places where I worked had several such couples. And I saw quite a few more develop while I was there. They're all still together, mostly married, with kids. With what I do now, I'm never in the same job long, being a freelancer. So yeah, I date a lot of people I work with. They are my dating pool. I meet a new set of people every few months. It's never been awkward though. And most of the time, once we're done, so is the job, so it's easy to avoid seeing each other if we so desire. 1
irc333 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Yeah, one of the places where I worked had several such couples. And I saw quite a few more develop while I was there. They're all still together, mostly married, with kids. With what I do now, I'm never in the same job long, being a freelancer. So yeah, I date a lot of people I work with. They are my dating pool. I meet a new set of people every few months. It's never been awkward though. And most of the time, once we're done, so is the job, so it's easy to avoid seeing each other if we so desire. On the other side of the coin, chances are these people at work didn't have many options due to the small town nature of the area. The only real way to meet other singles was through work or being introduced to a friend of co-worker's. Yeah, one of the places where I worked had several such couples. And I saw quite a few more develop while I was there. They're all still together, mostly married, with kids. Noticed the response from other posters above were, "If it doesn't work out, it could be awkward seeing each other again". But hey, if it winds up in marriage, then great!....so that being said, would it be worth the risk?
Trapito Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 (edited) For me, its a big fat NO (unless your name is Brad Pitt). I've seen it work out fine, with long term relationships and even marriage. BUT.. I've also seen the other side of the coin, and it is nasty. Not speaking, crying, yelling, giving each other the evil eye, gossip, getting fired, heavy flirting in front of the ex, ignoring each other, etc. I like a little innocent flirting in the workplace, and I am friends with a lot of my coworkers. But to end up in a relationship with me, you have to be a really special coworker. Edited April 16, 2014 by Trapito
sumathi Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Hi, It is tough to avoid being attracted to the opposite sex when you work for hours together. When you truly like each other there is nothing wrong in dating, but casual flings are a big no. It creates lots of tension when you have to work with a person you had broken with. Unless you are serious do not get involved in meaningless dating, fickle relationship and the inevitable break up.
StanMusial Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I have dated coworkers in the past with no problems. I have been set up by by coworkers and never had a problem. If you are prone to drama or go through partners like underwear, don't do it. If you are mature about it and operate within normal societal parameters it might work out in your favor. Only you can say for sure, and be honest with yourself.
PegNosePete Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 How could you loose your job? What, the boss calls you in the office, "I'm sorry, but since you've ended your relationship with Shirley, the company is going to have to end our relationship with you."? "You and Shirley work very closely together and the obvious tension caused by the bad way your relationship ended, is affecting your ability to perform your job function. Since Shirley has been here longer and is more essential to the smooth running of the company, we're going to have to let you go" 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 or - "Company policy is laid out in your contract as well as the Terms and Conditions of Employment. We make it quite clear that personal relationships are not permitted, therefore as you have chosen to disregard the terms of your contract, and ignored the terms and conditions of the company, we have no choice but to terminate your contract." ...is what happened to a colleague of mine. 1
StanMusial Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 or - "Company policy is laid out in your contract as well as the Terms and Conditions of Employment. We make it quite clear that personal relationships are not permitted, therefore as you have chosen to disregard the terms of your contract, and ignored the terms and conditions of the company, we have no choice but to terminate your contract." ...is what happened to a colleague of mine. Oh, they had a choice. I don't recommend violating policy but if you're in good standing, well-liked, and a producer then there is wiggle room. Just don't think because someone else got away with something that you will too.
mammasita Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 No no no no no no no no and NO. Unless one of you is willing to find another job/position. My manager married one of his previous co-workers so its possible, but they didn't stay working together long after they started dating.
organizedchaos Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 How could you loose your job? What, the boss calls you in the office, "I'm sorry, but since you've ended your relationship with Shirley, the company is going to have to end our relationship with you."? Because all break ups are nice, clean, no mess, no on begging for the other back, right? No one ever gets angry or vengeful, right? One person goes to hr and says you are harassing them, and has proof, and you're gone. Or says he/she felt they had to go out with you because they felt pressured to due to you being a superior. Many things can make problems for you if things go bad, even after just one date! 1
irc333 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Because all break ups are nice, clean, no mess, no on begging for the other back, right? No one ever gets angry or vengeful, right? One person goes to hr and says you are harassing them, and has proof, and you're gone. Or says he/she felt they had to go out with you because they felt pressured to due to you being a superior. Many things can make problems for you if things go bad, even after just one date! I didn't say anything about dating a superior...the people in question are completely equal in the work place. I have known Publix to send a worker off to another store, but not fire them.
joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I work in a nursing home and the only male nurse but one of the few male employees. I have had sex in the parking lot, BJs in a patient's bathroom, BJs in the breakroom, and sex in the administator's parking spot. There is one that shows me her boobs. It can be a good and bad thing. In my situation being with one woman there draws the curiosity of other women there. As they say pu$$y begats pu$$y. I was mad a few months back about a female coworker that basically lied about being interested in me and the said she was never attracted to me. The moment I met someone else and moved on she got mad. It hasn't been the same sense. It was her damn fault she should have been honest in the beginning. Also she got pissed off because she thought she was gonna be funny one day and say "Remember when you were chasing me" so I responded with yeah and I was talking to you and 4 other women. Some women know better
joystickd Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I didn't say anything about dating a superior...the people in question are completely equal in the work place. I have known Publix to send a worker off to another store, but not fire them. You can date a superior just make sure they text you nude pics. If it goes sour and they want to lie just say they pursued you and show the nude pics:cool:
Recommended Posts