bluegreen Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 Why are man not all of them mind you such lousy communicators ? If we try to talk to them they claim : we nag, we look for problems and just want to argue when there are no need for it , they go mute at argument or run for the door at we need to talk words. They miss 1000 chances to talk it out and then later cry or get pissed at being dumped seen it countless times ...
Frank2thepoint Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I remember reading an article years ago, written by a woman mind you, that admitted women are not as great communicators as they like to think they are. Men in general are wired for problem solving. If you present to them an argument that they cannot solve, hence they can just shut down or run away, because the problem is unsolvable. I had a female former co-worker tell me a story on how she had some kind of problem with her ex-boyfriend, so she started the serious discussion as "this not something you need to fix, but this is the problem I have with you...". Even I was confused at what is the message she was sending. Maybe you should try to work on your presentation, break it up into chunks that can be processed for the guy in your life. Or just send him an email.
salparadise Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Ok for starters it's about effective communication between two people––not so much a gender deficit. It's true that men are conditioned to express less emotion than women, but that doesn't mean all men are terrible communicators. And some women do look for problems, nag and thrive on drama. My suggestions is a) make sure you aren't doing that, and b) choose men that are good communicators if that's the kind of man you want. You certainly can't nag and bitch a guy into becoming a great communicator.
BHsigh Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Why are man not all of them mind you such lousy communicators ? If we try to talk to them they claim : we nag, we look for problems and just want to argue when there are no need for it , they go mute at argument or run for the door at we need to talk words. They miss 1000 chances to talk it out and then later cry or get pissed at being dumped seen it countless times ... This reminds me of the running joke that in order to have a smooth relationship with a woman you need to be able to read her mind. Point being, everyone communicates differently, you may think that you're being as clear as day, but he may not see that. One time, very early in our relationship, I asked my wife (then girlfriend) for some present ideas for christmas, she said not to get her anything because money's tight, etc. Now I knew at the time, as all men do, that when a woman says don't get me anything, it doesn't really mean don't get me anything, it means you decide. Now her interests at the time didn't leave me with many ideas on something that I could buy her, and I was having a very tough time coming up with something, so I got frustrated and decided to just listen to her and not get her anything. Now, every time that I ask for ideas, I get a few at least.
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