Marry bubbles Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 Two month's and 15 days ago, without a fight, he left. I came home and his key to my house was on my keyboard. I had been upset that he hadn't taken me out in a while. I had a gift card to a place and we could have gone and it would have cost him nothing. He refused..said I should use it with my kids. I just wanted time with him. He said he wasn't sure if he had time that Sunday anyway. But then he texted..let me know if you want "naked time" That pissed me off even more. I said I just really wanted to go out. The next day..almost all his stuff was gone. BUT HE HAD GOTTEN PISSY and taken all his stuff before. This time was different. There was no texting, no calling no nothing for a week. Then I texted him a few times. We texted back and forth right on through Valentines' day. We had always worked out our differences. Even if it took a month or so. We always worked it out. Then someone I never met started texting on my facebook liking pictures of him I had taken. About a week later he changed his status from being in a relationship with me to being in a relationship with her. Less than one month and they are posting "Il Love You's" to each other. I started texting, raising cain. I felt that someone I had loved and trusted for over four years should have at least had the guts to speak face to face, call or buy a hallmark card. He responded with crazy accusations...which he has since apologized for. But none the less, he is with her. She is from where he grew up and has all those old connections. An evening out with her is like a class reunion. I couldn't give him that I suppose. In over four years we only went to a club once, and that was for his class reunion. He always said he didn't have the cash. Now, without changing jobs he somehow can afford to hit the clubs almost every weekend. Just shocked and annoyed and heartbroken that someone who had been so loving, devoted and seemed so honorable could be so cruel He treated me like I was some nasty acquaintance that he couldn't stand. Never saw it coming. We both have kids and they do sports and there have been times in our relationship that we hadn't had a regular nite together ..this Nov. and Dec. and on into Jan had been the worst. I guess he found someone else to keep him warm at night....just makes me wonder how long it had been going on. I was busy with work and kids and she was ready, willing and came with a whole community of good times and fun. Not sure how I'm supposed to go on. he was in every aspect of my life. We shopped at the Home Depot. He helped me with handyman stuff. We waled at the park and hiked on hiking trails. Even now, it seems odd just to put burgers on the grill without him here. They say time heals all....wish I had a time machine.
stillafool Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 Marry I am so sorry you are hurt and welcome to LoveShack. The best course of action right now is no contact with him whatsoever. He may have someone new right now but he will remember you and what you two had together. The reason for NC is so you can heal from this heartache. I have seen NC bring couples back together as well. Sometimes when you disappear from the situation it makes the other person reflect about what you had. Afterall, he can't miss you if you are still there for him. You are right he could have told you to your face that it is over after 4 yrs. but you will be okay.
Author Marry bubbles Posted April 15, 2014 Author Posted April 15, 2014 Well, I'm pretty sure he doesn't miss me. He is going out clubbing and seeing old friends from high school. He is in heaven. And she knew I existed and we had a long relationship. I really look back and wish I could have been more available, but if the tables were turned, he would have worked to provide for his kids and he would have gone to sporting events. This was the first year he had not gone to events with me...should have seen it coming. And No More contact...and there will be no coming back either. He threw us away. He had asked me to marry him a couple of times...I said yes..but to later. He has six kids and I have two...all teenagers. kids need to grow up before you add stuff to their plate. Her kids are grown so she can marry him at any time. I look for that to happen next. I have friends who say he'll be back, but I don't think I could ever forgive such a cruel betrayal.
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