Do I still have a chance with my ex? Should I wait for him to contact me?

[changirl3]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up little more than a month ago. It was mutual, he agreed that we didn't have much to talk about, and that he didn't put enough effort in the relationship. That was the basis of the break up, and maybe also my jealousy over his best friend (who's a girl). I didn't do anything outright wrong or crazy. I was very nice, and even he said I was a nice girl, and that he really liked me, but things couldn't work out. Maybe I was too boring for him, but that is something I can easily fix.

 

I've seen him twice since the break up; each time, I asked him to hang out. The first time, we still felt the same attraction and ended up making out. I left before things could get any further. The second time, which was last week, I again initiated hanging out, and I expected him to be indifferent to me, but there was something different...He dressed up nice. His face lit up when he saw me, and it was like we had met for our first date all over again. We went back to his place after dinner, and we pretended to nap on his couch. But then he suddenly said, "You know, I should say this: We can't get back together. It won't work out in the long term..." I hid my huge disappointment by agreeing. Then I casually asked if it was okay to date other people again. He got this weird look on his face and said, "Yeah, of course." But then he kept looking over my shoulder whenever I checked my phone and acting a little jealous. He eventually just leaned over and kissed me. We ended up making out..now I'm confused :/

 

I am okay on my own, but I would take the chance to be with him again. The thing is, we have very little contact and no friends in common. We aren't even friends on social media, so we can't see what is going on in each other's lives. We only email, which makes me worry that he will forget about me over time...

 

Should I contact him again? Or should I wait for him to get touch, and if he doesn't, just move on with my life? Thanks for any help!

[Jiivy]

Tell me, to you - what is a loving, committed relationship? Because to me, it's where both myself and my partner want to make things work and want to keep things going.

 

A relationship that happens because you want to and he doesn't isn't a relationship. If we had mind controlling devices I'm sure a lot of us would zap our ex'a back to us...but this is about free will and making our own decisions.

 

I'm so sorry, I know this hurts - but you HAVE to walk away from this. If he changes his mind it's got to be on his own. Sustained contact will only push him further.

 

Read up on the forums here about NC. Know that it's a tool for your personal growth and healing, it's not a device to bring them back. Follow it.

 

For what it's worth - I'm in the same boat as you. I'm only 5 weeks post BU, my fiancée of 7 years ditched me for another guy...so don't think we don't know where your head's at. Please stay with us here on LS and keep strong. You're not alone

Edited April 15, 2014 by Jiivy
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[TaraMaiden]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up little more than a month ago. It was mutual, he agreed that we didn't have much to talk about, and that he didn't put enough effort in the relationship. That was the basis of the break up, and maybe also my jealousy over his best friend (who's a girl). I didn't do anything outright wrong or crazy. I was very nice, and even he said I was a nice girl, and that he really liked me, but things couldn't work out. Maybe I was too boring for him, but that is something I can easily fix.

 

I've seen him twice since the break up; each time, I asked him to hang out. The first time, we still felt the same attraction and ended up making out. I left before things could get any further. The second time, which was last week, I again initiated hanging out, and I expected him to be indifferent to me, but there was something different...He dressed up nice. His face lit up when he saw me, and it was like we had met for our first date all over again. We went back to his place after dinner, and we pretended to nap on his couch. But then he suddenly said, "You know, I should say this: We can't get back together. It won't work out in the long term..." I hid my huge disappointment by agreeing. Then I casually asked if it was okay to date other people again. He got this weird look on his face and said, "Yeah, of course." But then he kept looking over my shoulder whenever I checked my phone and acting a little jealous. He eventually just leaned over and kissed me. We ended up making out..now I'm confused :/

 

I am okay on my own, but I would take the chance to be with him again. The thing is, we have very little contact and no friends in common. We aren't even friends on social media, so we can't see what is going on in each other's lives. We only email, which makes me worry that he will forget about me over time...

 

Should I contact him again? Or should I wait for him to get touch, and if he doesn't, just move on with my life? Thanks for any help!

 

How old are you guys, and how long did you go out for?

 

By the way, I echo the advice you received, above.