kura1977 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 (edited) Jeez that thread title sounds so pathetic, but I'm finding it really hard right now... I'm 36, met my ex when we were both 25 she was my first and still only ever girlfriend, first girl I ever kissed, slept with etc, we had a son on the way but was stillborn, relationship lasted 7 years we split around 2010. Remained friends after that, but I would sometimes bring up feelings that I still had, and maybe still do, it's hard to tell. She no longer has any feelings for me whatsoever and always made that clear, but I just couldn't help myself. Stupid. She moved to a neighbouring country (Australia - I'm in New Zealand) in Feb 2013, I paid her a visit in May 2013, she was with another guy then and probably still is, I made the mistake of bringing up old sh*t again and I guess that was the last straw for her. She was polite for the rest of my visit, but that's been pretty much it. Since then our only contact has been through Facebook. In July or so last year I asked to visit again, she declined. She wished me happy b'day in October last year, I did the same earlier this year, and complimented her on her new profile pic a month or 2 ago. She took that well, but today I noticed she's un/defriended me. Even though we essentially weren't even friends anymore, it's really hard to take. We've gone from partners, to friends, to not even FBook friends. I'm fighting the urge to message her, I know I shouldn't, but it's just so damn hard!! I'm sure if I word it right it won't sound stalkerish, I'm not stalking, I'm just trying to remain friends, I would be happy with that at this point. This is such a great site, full of support, I guess I'm hoping posting here will help, be like cathartic or something, maybe some kind soul can offer some words of advice, or someone might read this and can identify, thanks for reading anyway if you've made it this far :-) Edited April 14, 2014 by kura1977 left out some information
LoLWut Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I'm in a similar situation but i know nothing i can say will change her mind. If it's what she wants, i'm happy for her. I am mourning everyday... but life goes on.
petall Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Never be friends with an ex when you still have feelings. Hence no contact was invented. That was the mistake you made right from the beginning. That's why you are still not over her despite breaking up in 2010!! That is not cool AT ALL. You need to drop it now.
learning_slowly Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 You made mistakes, but learn. She wasn't meant for you. My ex had an abortion because she thought I was not ready to commit. Maybe she was right. If we were meant to be we'd be together now. We're not. You'll get hard days. But they will probably disappear if you meet someone new and throw all your love into them. If you can't meet somebody else who compares to her, workout why? Is there something you need to improve or have lost? Was she a gold digga? At the end of the day, if you've got no friends or family to help guide you, you've got to figure it out yourself and be the best you can be. Good luck. If you can't get past it, change your life to help others. Hopefully you'll find a purpose and love on the way.
samg313 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 If you want more than friendship and you are playing alone just to be in someone's life it is not doing either one of you favors in the end. You should have de-friended her or blocked her from your feed a long time ago. this is your chance to put some distance from her and the memories 1
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