spiderowl Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 OK. To make it clear, I think she is brilliant, which is why I'm torn up that she appears not to want to remain friends. I won't meet her like again in a long time, maybe ever. No-one can tell you why she'd opt out of being friends. All you can do is say you are happy to remain friends and leave it up to her. Maybe she was acting hastily because she thinks she can't be friends with someone who wants more. Who knows?
TB Rhine Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 Do you feel this way about your same sex friends also? I've never had a male friend try to take advantage of me. Conversely, I've never had a female "friend" NOT try to. Even when the friendship proviso is there from the get-go, I find I'm still expected to pay for everything, be available to give the girl rides, etc. We get somewhere and suddenly she's like, "Oops... I don't have any money." Female "friends" have a puzzling habit of essentially forcing you to spend money if you wanna spend time with them... kinda like a date, only without the possibility of sex/a romantic relationship. No thanks. 1
thecrucible Posted April 15, 2014 Posted April 15, 2014 Even when the friendship proviso is there from the get-go, I find I'm still expected to pay for everything, be available to give the girl rides, etc. We get somewhere and suddenly she's like, "Oops... I don't have any money." Female "friends" have a puzzling habit of essentially forcing you to spend money if you wanna spend time with them... kinda like a date, only without the possibility of sex/a romantic relationship. No thanks. Stop tarring us all by the same brush. I never exploit my male friends for money. How about you just don't pay if you don't want to pay rather than playing the victim?
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I didn't have intentions from the start. I had intentions since last week. Prior to that I figured neither of us were interested. I haven't talked bad, I don't support the concept of the "friendzone" at the best of times let alone in this instance where it doesn't even fit, and my problem is not the rejection but her ending of the friendship over it, an overreaction I didn't expect and am wondering if I deserved. I swear some people just read about 2 lines of a thread, misinterpret those anyway, then throw together a handful of pop phrases and call it a post. For reference, now she's gone, I now have no friends in my town. Everyone I know is a long way away. And they won't read the same authors or watch the same shows or films as me. Anyway the message seems to be that these things happen sometimes with some women you might be friends with before you approach, which just makes me fearful of ever opening that door in future. It doesn't make my advice any less relevant. Maybe not friendzoned, but you got rejected. She doesn't want to spend time with you. You made it awkward by sending mixed signals. Meet other people. Are you incapable of making new friends? Yes that definitely happens, especially if you make it seem like you're friends and then later try to hit on her. It's confusing, and it's why women feel like they can't have guy friends. It's almost like betraying the friendship rules. All I know that living life in fear of opening doors isn't going to lead you anywhere positive.
TB Rhine Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 In a nutshell. Bury it with a shovel... then bury the shovel.
Recommended Posts