toungeofcolicab Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 First off i'd like to say thank you, to everyone and anyone who has helped me through my difficult period over the past month or so. So me and my partner/ex partner, broke up about 3-4 weeks ago. Neither wanted to do it, but i'll get into that if necessary. She has continuously texted me and called me and basically begged me to see her over the past week or so. I saw her 4 times during the week. During this week, she was basically also begging me to get back together, and i intended to but i said lets make a nice night of it, and what not and i'll ask then Friday we went shopping together, Sunday and Monday (3-4 days before) we just chilled out, go a bit to eat and what not. On the Friday driving home, she asks me what are my intentions with her, do i want a relationship? I definitely said yes and and i laid out what i want out of us as a couple. Later that night she went out on a date with another guy (she said it was to merely get back at me for taking 2 girls home from a club the week before) I had no problem with it, other than obviously being jealous. She kept telling me how she wants to have my children during the course of the week, how she can't wait to see me, kiss me, hold my hand etc. Literally texting all day, everyday, for the duration of the week. Obviously we both want a relationship. Saturday night comes along, and we went out. I bought flowers, and really dressed up nicely. As we started driving, she started crying randomly out of nowhere, she was PMSing. Earlier in the day, i asked her, if we go out do you want me to hold your hand and kiss you? And she said definitely, as if i didnt there would be no point in trying to get back together. We ended up having sex and basically talking for most of the night. I asked the question if she wants a relationship right now, and she said 'not yet'. I was confused. She had showed all week that she wanted it so much and that she didn't want to be without me, but then says no. She was PMSing big time!! as her period was due in a day or two. She said lets have a week of no contact. If in any shape or form, she gets in contact with me, it automatically means we are back together, no questions asked, but if she doesn't i can text her on Sunday and we can discuss it further. She deleted my number off her phone, but says she has it saved on her computer and a piece of paper on her desk She says she's very confused, which is understandable, as am i with the whole situation. Is she wanting me to show fight for her ? On the drive home she was saying how she can't wait to go out to dinner with me, go to a club, and how we have to show appreciation to one another if we get back together. Does she just need time to realise how great our relationship is/was? Now that I'm immensely confused, and obviously trying to restrict myself from contacting her, I'm trying to come up with a solution of sorts. How can someone go from being so lovey, and wanting me to write her a love letter and stuff a few days before, and discussing our sex, to needing a week to think (which as hard as it may seem, i understand the premise)
ja123 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I don't know your backstory, but I wouldn't bother, if I were you. Is it that bad to be alone? What are you, in your twenties? Going travelling, get educated ... don't get mired down in this sh*t. PMSing? Yeah, right ... She went on a date to get back at you? Puleez ... move on!
J21 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 First off i'd like to say thank you, to everyone and anyone who has helped me through my difficult period over the past month or so. So me and my partner/ex partner, broke up about 3-4 weeks ago. Neither wanted to do it, but i'll get into that if necessary. She has continuously texted me and called me and basically begged me to see her over the past week or so. I saw her 4 times during the week. During this week, she was basically also begging me to get back together, and i intended to but i said lets make a nice night of it, and what not and i'll ask then Friday we went shopping together, Sunday and Monday (3-4 days before) we just chilled out, go a bit to eat and what not. On the Friday driving home, she asks me what are my intentions with her, do i want a relationship? I definitely said yes and and i laid out what i want out of us as a couple. Later that night she went out on a date with another guy (she said it was to merely get back at me for taking 2 girls home from a club the week before) I had no problem with it, other than obviously being jealous. She kept telling me how she wants to have my children during the course of the week, how she can't wait to see me, kiss me, hold my hand etc. Literally texting all day, everyday, for the duration of the week. Obviously we both want a relationship. Saturday night comes along, and we went out. I bought flowers, and really dressed up nicely. As we started driving, she started crying randomly out of nowhere, she was PMSing. Earlier in the day, i asked her, if we go out do you want me to hold your hand and kiss you? And she said definitely, as if i didnt there would be no point in trying to get back together. We ended up having sex and basically talking for most of the night. I asked the question if she wants a relationship right now, and she said 'not yet'. I was confused. She had showed all week that she wanted it so much and that she didn't want to be without me, but then says no. She was PMSing big time!! as her period was due in a day or two. She said lets have a week of no contact. If in any shape or form, she gets in contact with me, it automatically means we are back together, no questions asked, but if she doesn't i can text her on Sunday and we can discuss it further. She deleted my number off her phone, but says she has it saved on her computer and a piece of paper on her desk She says she's very confused, which is understandable, as am i with the whole situation. Is she wanting me to show fight for her ? On the drive home she was saying how she can't wait to go out to dinner with me, go to a club, and how we have to show appreciation to one another if we get back together. Does she just need time to realise how great our relationship is/was? Now that I'm immensely confused, and obviously trying to restrict myself from contacting her, I'm trying to come up with a solution of sorts. How can someone go from being so lovey, and wanting me to write her a love letter and stuff a few days before, and discussing our sex, to needing a week to think (which as hard as it may seem, i understand the premise) Nope. It's done. No offense, but you guys also seem petty keeping tabs and "getting back" at each other. This ain't love. It also seems like you don't really have a say, and whatever she wants is what goes down. "If she contacts you, you guys are back together" So the decision is up to her basically huh. Even if you guys get back together, it will be "dirty slate". It will eventually come to an end because both of you keep tabs, and doubt any of you really changed in that short amount of time. She'll get bored of you (she's already losing interest, plus u dont really have a say remember) and she'll break up again pretty soon. Don't think she's confused, she changed her mind and doesn't want you anymore.
hoping2heal Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 The woman claimed to want to have your children and went out on a "revenge date". Real mature... I think you should expect nothing but confusion from this person. 1
soccerrprp Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Never mind her PMSing. There are other forces in control here and it's not b/c it's that time of the month.
MidwestUSA Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Don't chase the crazy, and definitely don't stick your d*ck in it and make a baby. She's well beyond confused; she may have a personality disorder. Or, she's just a high maintenance drama queen. Who knows? Run. 2
sagetalk Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Later that night she went out on a date with another guy She kept telling me how she wants to have my children during the course of the week, how she can't wait to see me, kiss me, hold my hand etc. I asked the question if she wants a relationship right now, and she said 'not yet'. She said lets have a week of no contact. She deleted my number off her phone, but says she has it saved on her computer and a piece of paper on her desk She says she's very confused we have to show appreciation to one another if we get back together. This girl is all kinds of crazy. Why do you want to be with her? These are the kinds of girls that smash your heart into a thousand pieces and then blame you. Confused means she has a low interest level, never take that from a girl. As soon as you hear that word, you have to go no contact until she decides to lose the confusion. Your chances at having a healthy relationship with her are slim, but that's probably a good thing. I'd rather be alone than live through that much crap from a girl.
Author toungeofcolicab Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 Cheers guys for the tips. We were together for 5 years, so obviously there is some longing. I am kinda leaning towards just trying to get over it, even though it's hard. She's always the one seeking me out. She's the one texting me and calling me, wanting to see me, i've never once requested or initiated it, post relationship, so it's confused me a lot as well. She got out asked out on a second date by that same guy and she rejected it, because she said she only wants to be with me, which furthermore confused me. I told her, if you want to pursue another person and relationship, by all means, i'll step away and let you have it, and she said she doesn't want any other person but me. The way she's acting is that one day she will text me that she never wants to see me again so it's easier on both and then the next day she will text me that she can't live without me. FML
hoping2heal Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Cheers guys for the tips. We were together for 5 years, so obviously there is some longing. I am kinda leaning towards just trying to get over it, even though it's hard. She's always the one seeking me out. She's the one texting me and calling me, wanting to see me, i've never once requested or initiated it, post relationship, so it's confused me a lot as well. She got out asked out on a second date by that same guy and she rejected it, because she said she only wants to be with me, which furthermore confused me. I told her, if you want to pursue another person and relationship, by all means, i'll step away and let you have it, and she said she doesn't want any other person but me. The way she's acting is that one day she will text me that she never wants to see me again so it's easier on both and then the next day she will text me that she can't live without me. FML I find it quite sad that after 5 years together, this person would pull moves like "I'm going on a revenge date". 5 years is a long period of time, and if she hasn't learn to respect you and love you yet, she may never. Obviously, there is emotional attachment. Of course, but you don't go out in attempt to hurt someone you respect and love in the proper way.
Author toungeofcolicab Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 I find it quite sad that after 5 years together, this person would pull moves like "I'm going on a revenge date". 5 years is a long period of time, and if she hasn't learn to respect you and love you yet, she may never. Obviously, there is emotional attachment. Of course, but you don't go out in attempt to hurt someone you respect and love in the proper way. I agree with you. Last weekend i went to a club with a friend and i gave 2 random girls a lift home. I didn't want anything to do with them from a 'sexual' perspective, and the only reason i gave them a lift home was cause they lived one street away from my friend. She said she didn't know my intentions towards her as a result of that and went on a date for that reason and i was like fair enough. Im just beyond confused as well
ja123 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 She's nuts. Be glad you're out of this. Read Susan Forward's "Emotional Blackmail", if she tries to "confuse" you again. Of course, your best option is going no contact to avoid any further confusion. She is so not worth it.
preraph Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 If you're seeing each other and having sex, you're not broke up. Who is it wanting to also date other people, you or her, and which one said it first? It sounds like a train wreck. She shouldn't be talking about having babies with you and then going out with another guy. Women sometimes do that when they know a man isn't being faithful, though. They feel they must move on. I wouldn't "fight for her." She sounds like she's already seeing you, so what's to fight for? If you want to be together, either tell her you want to be exclusive or tell her you don't want to be exclusive and then see where she stands. But you guys need some ground rules because neither one of you are worth a crap at breaking up.
Wisecrack Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Move on. Her trying to get you back and her actually succeeding was only so she could validate herself after you dumped her. She had no intentions of getting you back only simply to pull - she went on a date with another guy; no excuses or reasoning can hide that fact. Don't try to blow it up. Take a step back, cut off ties and move on. The funny thing is the less drama you make about something, the more you drive the other person nuts because they are expecting something that you do not give them.
brandon26003 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 You screwed up by playing mind games with her. She came back with mind games of her own and gave you a taste of your own medicine. Now she knows she has your balls in her purse and will use it to her full advantage. Let her go. If it's meant to happen, it will happen.
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