Hoosfoos Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 After 5 months of indecision, I finally bit the bullet and blocked my ex of 2 years on FB. Although I had her hidden from my newsfeed, and I did not check up on her even once, I was starting to think that it was an attachment that was leaving me hanging in there and preventing me from moving on. My obsession with her is profound and is not going away - she is the first thing I think about when I get up in the morning, I think about her all day (and there are constant external triggers), and she is the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep at night. I must say, blocking her was the HARDEST f*cking thing I have ever had to do. During the break up, I did everything I could to keep things amicable (even though she dumped me, and I should have shown her way more anger than I actually presented), but now I worry that I have done something that will piss her off, as blocking someone is a pretty extreme measure. Ultimately, if she is truly gone, there is no reason to keep her on my Facebook, but she is a little on the volatile side and may react badly if she discovers what I have done. I have no idea what she's been up to, she might even be with someone new. Yes, I care too much what she thinks about me. Do I need to tell her that what I have done is not an act of revenge or to punish her, but just something I have done to help myself move on? If I were to sum up my feelings right now....what a f*cking s#it show things have become, from having something that I valued a great deal, and had all the potential in the world to be something very special. She never felt that way. And that to me, is devastating.
iDrumKing Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 If someone is willing to walk out of your life, let them. With that they lose ALL privilege to keep any tabs go you. You owe NOTHING to her. Keep it like that. FB blocking her is therapeutic and you shouldn't have to explain to anyone. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 No, don't tell her a thing. She is not owed an explanation; she gave the right to that when she broke up with you. And five months later, you should not be sitting there on eggshells like a weakling wondering if she'll get mad at you for doing this. Do you think she cares if you are mad about her breaking up with you? It's time for you to be an assertive, strong adult and shed the unattractive wussy feelings you have right now. You did the right thing and you don't owe any sort of explanation. 2
sooshi Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 (edited) I understand how you feel, Hoosfoos. I blocked my ex-fiance for ONE night after I found out he'd been pursuing my best friend (she blocked him too). He said he'd never been so mad at anyone his entire life, and then I felt soooo bad. But people on this forum told me that I had no reason to feel bad, and that what I did wasn't unreasonable at all. My blocking him wasn't an act of revenge either. It was an act of compassion toward myself, but he saw it was me shutting him out, and encouraging others to do so. Like you, I've cared too much about what my ex thinks about me. I was a weakling and apologized to him, yet he hasn't apologized to me for sending me the love song he wrote for my best friend, and *I* was the one who felt extremely guilty when the people on this forum helped me to see that I was NOT in the wrong. You are NOT in the wrong for blocking her! Be assertive and strong. With the help of this forum, I'm being more assertive and strong. You will as well. Practice. Edited April 14, 2014 by sooshi 2
elseaacych Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Honestly, if you have both been NC, she may not even notice that you've disappeared. Hell, I thought I might elicit some reaction from my ex after I removed him, but really? It's Facebook. Not a big deal. (Though it is, when you actually have to go through the process of removing someone you loved.) Think of it this way. You didn't want to see what she was up to, and you didn't want her to see you. So why would you even be facebook friends? You owe her no explanation. Good job removing her. Stay strong. You are getting there.
Sundancev1 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 It will be the best thing you ever did. Just never unblock until your completely over them. Good work. Don't say anything to her, she left you. Just ignore and move on. 2
iDrumKing Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 It will be the best thing you ever did. Just never unblock until your completely over them. Good work. Don't say anything to her, she left you. Just ignore and move on. No point even in unblocking IMHO.
redbaron005 Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Do I need to tell her that what I have done is not an act of revenge or to punish her, but just something I have done to help myself move on? Now, no. If you end up back together in the future, you can tell her then.
bluegreen Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 Its never not right not to block an EX from any social media. I am on them pretty often and since I used what other "mentors" here drummed in my head rules and kicked my butt trough booth camp of LS I could not even care less to "look him up" If that odd thought creeps in my mind I go immediately EWWWWWWWWWWW 1
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