Online dating is... interesting...

[UnlitCandle]

So I recently got into dating, been setup with friends' friends, and had lady friends help me with an online profile.

 

The offline aspects of my new found dating life is great, the experience is definitely interesting and I'm learning new things every day from great girls.

 

The online part... well... I've set pretty reasonable standards on my profile, being:

1. University educated

2. Healthy and active

3. Good integrity and morals

 

and... I've been inundated with complaints and rude comments about the requirements (over two dozen so far in < a week), which IMO is very reasonable. Keep in mind that I have a terrific education, career, I own my condo, and I'm a reasonably mature person. I don't see the need to go and tell me that I'm an jerk (one of the milder ones I might add).

 

Since I'm new at this, I don't have a baseline to what OLD is supposed to be like. So... what are your experiences with women on OLD sites? Feedback is much appreciated!

[Armegoggon]

I'm gonna be really honest. It actually is not a good experience on OkCupid. I've been on this site for 2 months and sent a total of 30 message to girls, who have over 80% match. Only 4 of them replied and there is currently no active conversation (since last week).

 

I went on almost everyday but lost my confidence and decided to try to talk to girls in RL. Never in my time in OkCupid has a girl messaged me first hand.

 

I mean honestly, I'll ask this rhetorically. If most girls don't reply a message you send, what's the point anyways?

 

Btw, what sites do you use? Just curious.

[sagetalk]

Since I'm new at this, I don't have a baseline to what OLD is supposed to be like. So... what are your experiences with women on OLD sites? Feedback is much appreciated!

 

Your standards are not too high in the least. You must be getting messages from the bottom of the barrel. OLD women have higher standards than women you meet in person, you have been warned. Even if you are better looking and more successful, women get more messages overall in the OLD world compared to a similar male.

 

Give it a shot, but don't let them get to you if they treat you poorly. Just move on and try again, don't hold grudges. Some of these women have some serious issues and there is no way to know until you start dating them.

 

My personal experiences in OLD have been: great, wonderful, terrible, amazing, and dreadful. All of them. I learned a great deal from it though. There is just some things no one will ever tell you about women, you just have to experience it from the school of hard knocks.

[bryceisbryce]

Those are the same things I want but I don't put it on my profile. Create a profile that attracts the type of women(talk about yourself in detail and use keywords like favorite authors, tv shows, movies, etc), leave off the requirements, and don't send/respond to messages from women that clearly don't meet your requirements.

 

I mainly use OKC and women message me first and often offer me their phone numbers within a few messages. Am I some outrageously handsome dude? No....What do I do? 1) Have a fun and inviting profile with specific details about me, not what I want in a woman 2) Have quality pictures that clearly show what I look like 3) send genuinely funny first messages that show that I read their profile 4) Always message women that looked at my profile first and meet requirements

[soccerrprp]

Very reasonable standards. Many people online will certainly miss one or more of the expectations you listed. My experience with OLD has been mostly positive. You'll get all kinds of people who will "hate", but you need to have a thick skin about OLD...about dating, in general. Be proactive and try to seek women that fit your needs, then go from there.

 

How old are you?

[KatZee]

Honestly, I know people have had some luck with online dating, but for me, and my friends, it's basically a circus. I've tried OkCupid (horrible), Match (even worse), and POF (the best in terms of decent looking people).

 

I met quite a few people from POF but nothing ever went anywhere. I dated one guy for roughly a month until he pulled a fade out, I met another guy who wanted to know "where we stood" after 6 days. I've gone on countless first dates that went no where, I've been bored to tears, enjoyed some conversations, and have had several time wasters and "text buddies." One turned out to be an alcoholic, one who tried to tell me he was 30 when he was actually 40.

 

I feel that OLD is bottom of the barrel people. People with too much baggage, people with mental problems, people with life problems. People who just aren't quite "right." It's always something.

 

One of my close friends met someone from POF and has been raving about him for about a month and we all met him last night. To say I'm disgusted and flabbergasted would be an understatement. Kid has issues. My most recent thread talks about it if you want to kill some time.

 

I shut down my OLD profiles over a month ago, I have zero interest in turning them back on. Major waste of time.

[J21]

#1 rule is to have no expectations. You really don't know what you're gonna get.

[StanMusial]

Honestly, I know people have had some luck with online dating, but for me, and my friends, it's basically a circus. I've tried OkCupid (horrible), Match (even worse), and POF (the best in terms of decent looking people).

 

I met quite a few people from POF but nothing ever went anywhere. I dated one guy for roughly a month until he pulled a fade out, I met another guy who wanted to know "where we stood" after 6 days. I've gone on countless first dates that went no where, I've been bored to tears, enjoyed some conversations, and have had several time wasters and "text buddies." One turned out to be an alcoholic, one who tried to tell me he was 30 when he was actually 40.

 

I feel that OLD is bottom of the barrel people. People with too much baggage, people with mental problems, people with life problems. People who just aren't quite "right." It's always something.

 

One of my close friends met someone from POF and has been raving about him for about a month and we all met him last night. To say I'm disgusted and flabbergasted would be an understatement. Kid has issues. My most recent thread talks about it if you want to kill some time.

 

I shut down my OLD profiles over a month ago, I have zero interest in turning them back on. Major waste of time.

 

I tried it for 6 months and it was pretty much a disaster. I only knew one other person who tried it before I found this forum. However, she was a girl so her experience was vastly different. To be honest, OLD is not that popular where I live. And it's sort of discouraging, because on there the loser with a few good photos is going to do OK, whereas in reality those guys would not be able to date the girls I have dated in the past.

[hoping2heal]

I'm not sure why anyone is bothering to write you and tell you that you're a jerk

 

but...

 

The fact that this is happening does make me super curious about what your requirements are

 

That is my way of saying...well what do you have on there for requirements? I must know! If you already answered in the thread, ignore me. I haven't gotten that far yet.

 

Edit: I fail at reading comprehension, I thought you were trying to say you set reasonable standards because you are University educated, healthy and active, and have good morals etc. I don't think there is anything so jerk thoughts inducing about your "requirements". I have turned my nose up at men who want things in a partner that are qualities they themselves do not possess to offer the woman. That, is an eyeroller for sure but I am guessing not the case with you.

 

Maybe you are presenting information in a polarizing way? Who knows. The other thing is that moral can be relative. What I consider good morals, someone else will not and bla bla blue blue. Still, I would not hardly think that is enough to inspire dislike mail.

Edited April 13, 2014 by hoping2heal

[UnlitCandle]

Btw, what sites do you use? Just curious.

 

I am on Plenty of Fish.

 

My personal experiences in OLD have been: great, wonderful, terrible, amazing, and dreadful. All of them. I learned a great deal from it though. There is just some things no one will ever tell you about women, you just have to experience it from the school of hard knocks.

 

So... its a complete crap shoot?

 

Those are the same things I want but I don't put it on my profile. Create a profile that attracts the type of women(talk about yourself in detail and use keywords like favorite authors, tv shows, movies, etc), leave off the requirements, and don't send/respond to messages from women that clearly don't meet your requirements.

 

Thanks for the tips!

 

How old are you?

 

Almost 31

 

#1 rule is to have no expectations. You really don't know what you're gonna get.

 

Seems a little counter intuitive, but I'll keep that in mind.

 

Maybe you are presenting information in a polarizing way? Who knows. The other thing is that moral can be relative. What I consider good morals, someone else will not and bla bla blue blue. Still, I would not hardly think that is enough to inspire dislike mail.

 

I am not sure, its laid out logically... Who I am, what I have to offer, what I'm looking for. If you don't meet the requirement, thanks for visiting my page and have a good day etc. I do emphasize the need for an education though, none of my lady friends nor myself see anything wrong with that. I get messages telling me that its unfair, and I'm a jerk. Some say that having an education doesn't mean you're any smarter than everybody else etc.

 

Morals is a simple one, don't lie, don't cheat, don't do anything you'll regret or be ashamed of, but that's more implied and not actually listed on the profile.

[sagetalk]

So... its a complete crap shoot?

 

Dating is a crapshoot.

[hoping2heal]

I think valuing education is important, and I would find the man more respectable personally.

 

Perhaps you are offending women who thought they would make it as trophy wives