Can't suck it up.

[headspins]

I feel like a stranger&not a father to my kids anymore. I am not good company&the stress is overwhelming me. I feel so unbelievably uncomfortable be cuz of my stbx being in a relationship with a guy whom I know. Ive already mentioned him. Hes her ex best friends ex boyfriend. Basically from what I heard is that she stuck up for him against her friend. Thus she traded her in for him. I guarantee they get married. They have a child. I know it cuz I feel it in my heart. I just know things. Anyways, my daughter is to be baptized today&I cannot suck it up to go. Why? Cuz the thought of me seeing the two of them makes me wanna vomit. Not so much him. Her! She's repulsive&yes I am still bitter, but I know in my heart that I deserve 10 x better than her if I can become the man I should have always been all along. So? I did give my baby girl a card. That's the least that I can do. However, I worry I am going to miss quite a bit&that really makes me sad.