JamesWills22 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Alright, long story short I met this girl at the end of December at a friend's party, she was sweet and over time we became closer. We flirted and I could tell she liked me, that was until the player came into the picture. This guy has a history with her as they were friends for a few years nothing more, he was in a relationship with a girl at the time yet told the girl I like he really loved her instead, you can then tell she fell for him over me. (Let's nickname her Sarah) So after playing both of them off, he dropped Sarah to stay with that girl. A week or two passed then he dropped her, and sometime later asked Sarah to be his girlfriend, she said yes, It was around this time I went into NC. They dated a little under a month until he dropped her for another girl, Sarah was upset and regrettably I came to help her. She opened up how sometimes he would back away and how he hates being 'famous' in the local area by many girls, so he has got a lot of female attention around him then seems to buckle once he see's another girl in the picture. (She even said when it was official they were dating girls were messaging her saying she's 'lucky' ) Anyway, then me and Sarah were progressively back on old tracks again, it took 3 weeks for things to start warming back up to how they were. but just when I actually thought things were close, he messaged her, then everything messed up completely again. A month on, now they're going out again. I NC'd for about a week and from what I overheard her say to a friend this is his 'last chance' as Sarah believes she messed up the first time, they've been going out since the 4th of April. We started talking again yesterday as she messaged me, as I thought she wasn't that engaging in any sort of conversation so I left it. I'm doing the necessary steps which is to give them space, don't put my life on hold for her etc but she seems to love the "bad boy" image, where as I'm not particularly like that as a guy. I don't have that much female attention my way like he does, but I don't know how to brake this cycle so she will give us a chance and not keep giving him chance after chance. She's 17, he's 19 and I'm 20 if that helps. There doesn't seem to be much interaction from them as of late so by the looks of it he's about to jump ship again. Questions: 1) How can I try to turn this around? 2) Should I remain in LC?) Many thanks. I know in my heart she's not a player herself, when he dropped her and she came to me she wasn't flirty or used me as a rebound, I'm certain she's not playing me or him around.
Survivor12 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Here's the thing--whether he dumps her or she dumps him, the fact will remain that you will be her second choice. Do you really want to be the guy she "settles" for? Of course, it also seems very apparent that at least part of the reason she is attracted to him is because she enjoys the attention she gets from being known as his gf. With that in mind, it is possible that her "feelings" for him are driven by her desire to be envied rather than "love". Even so, that means that you are still a runner-up--to her ego. In any case, you need to realize that love is not a competition and leftovers are not a prize. You'll save yourself a lot of grief by moving on from this one.
mema1982 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 You're doing all the typical things to b in THE FRIEND ZONE !!! long story short if you want this girl these r the main things you need to NOT do: be Mr. Nice Guy Showing you NEEEEED her showing You are jealous Be less available to her now assuming you do all that ,than the only thing there is left for you to do is to have other girls next to you (even if you're just friends) cos WHEN A WOMAN SEE YOU ATTRACT OTHER WOMAN IT'S LIKE YOUR BEING APPROVED BY OTHER FEMALE SO THERE IS GOTTA BE SOMETHING IN YOU GOOD LUCK
sagetalk Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Questions: 1) How can I try to turn this around? 2) Should I remain in LC?) 1. Do you really want to turn it around? She has clearly made this loser more important than you, even though you are a better choice between the two. You are second fiddle to her. Is that how you want to be treated? I would not go back to her. Go no contact and let her come to you. Then tell her that guy is out of her life forever or you refuse to start anything with her again. Don't waste your life giving everything you have to someone who doesn't appreciate it, or doesn't like themselves enough to think they deserve a good relationship. 2. Does LC mean low contact? No, you should be no contact. Go out befriend other girls. Even if you do not want to date them. Girls know other girls who know other girls. This girl is acting like a poison to you, stop taking the poison.
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