JANIE2406 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Been going out with this guy for a little over 2 months. He is very balanced in his emotions and so am I. We already did a 4 day trip together out-of-state (it was awesome), I met his sister and brother, we sleep together whenever he is in town (in my house and his house as well - he spends 7 days out of state and 5 in), I am flying to his hometown to spend Easter with his family, and I currently have his cat in my apt while he is out of town. These all look pretty good, however he has not invited me to be his Facebook friend (I cannot invite him unless I send him a message first), I do not feel comfortable to call him when I feel like it (i text him often though), and he still logs in the dating site we met from, not as frequently anymore (sometimes he is off of it for 5 days. I never caught him online on it). Funny thing is I do not even use Facebook much (have just to check on friends that live overseas) and somebody told me I should consider this a red flag and now I am worrying about it. I feel stupid!! I do not want to do the talk because I come from a culture where actions speak louder than words and he has given me enough to believe he likes me. I have no reason to be jealous of him and he never behaved in any way I would consider disrespectful. Also, I have been divorced for six months and he has made clear that he worries I am on the rebound, which I am not. I am on my early 30's and he is on late 30's. He had a 6 years relationship that he ended in early 2012 and I was with my ex-husband for 8 years until I ended in DEC 2012. Any advise or similar situation is welcome. Thank you all
UnlitCandle Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Honestly, just have the talk. If you don't define the relationship, how is he to know that you're exclusive? Facebook IMHO is for kids and showing off. If you know you're his girlfriend, and he knows that you're his girlfriend, its all good... right? If you're sure you're his girlfriend, get comfortable with calling him. Just... 1. Keep it relatively short and know when to hang up. 2. Don't do it working hours (or commuting/driving hours), I'd be pretty annoyed if someone calls me when I'm in full clean-room gear, or trying to play sardine can on the subway. 1
Ami1uwant Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I think you are overanalyzing this...... 1. The dating site. Many dating sites still track you and list you as active even if you dont log onto the site. Some will say you are active by just viewing email from them. 2. facebook thing How often is he even active on facebook? can you see his profile or is it all blocked? He may only use facebook for family and very close friends. He may not be ready yet to bring you into that life yet given you have only been dating a few months. Some have rules of introducing you to family/friends until after 6 months. Another potential issue---how jealous of a her person are you? Are you going to go through his account and start grrilliung him as to who he is talking to? 3. Why do you feel uncomfortable in calling him?? why cant you send him a message thru facebook? 4. Remember you two are still early in a relationship and he is still learning stuff about you. He isnt at the point of sharing with you all his passwords.
d0nnivain Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Only he can answer this Q. I would have asked it before becoming intimate & traveling with him but that's just me. 1
HappyLove Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Don't be a fool and assume your his gf. Number 1 red flag is he's still logging in to the OLDing site. Means he's still looking for something "better". Other red flags you can't call when you feel like? You mostly text? He's probably still dating others for all you know. Meeting his family means squat. Don't assume anything.
stillafool Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Only he can answer this Q. I would have asked it before becoming intimate & traveling with him but that's just me. This is so true. None of us can tell you what this guy is thinking. I don't see anything wrong with asking him the status of your relationship if you want to know.
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