How do you get over your break up? What's your step by step remedy.

[nutcheesy]

Hi All,

 

NC for 10 days, well actually 18 but i dropped her a text on the 8th day!

We were very close in our relationship, but waiver when she started her new job and her new friends. She broke up with me because she said i was clingy/insecure/controlling. At the same time, she is also actively chatting with this other guy. When we broke up, she said she still love me and hope we get back together in future, she cried a lot when she's the dumper.

 

So anyway, she is quite active on facebook, at least going on once every hour. I posted a photo of me and 1 of old friend (she never met before) looking quite close and happy. After that, she didnt come on for 1 whole day alr! Why would she get so affected? Does that mean she still think of me a lot?

 

I know im being such a stalker, but i cant accept the fact that she can give up on our 2 years r/s just like that. I know the guy she is texting actively likes her, and she might like him too.

 

Her birthday is in 10 days time, should i even text her?

[nutcheesy]

Hi,

 

I have been having such a tough time getting over my ex. NC 11 days. Her birthday is in 10 days, all i kept thinking is what my text message will be or if i should phone her.

 

Weekdays are better for me, as i am working. I try to ask friends out everyday, go for jogs, watch drama, listen to happy music and try to have as little alone time as possible. But it is still so terrible. Every morning i wake up, stoned in bed and realized she's not in my life anymore, then i'll tearing up. Even when im out with friends, my thoughts is filled of our memories. I have been reading forums and move on articles, how can i ever get past this!?

[Breadimus]

Time and effort.

 

You will need to feel the worst you may have felt ever and you need to make sure you purge all that pain by working through it. Cry, despair, think of every good time and every bad time.

 

Just know that you and only you can do this but if you need help never be too proud to reach out. Those steps to heal a heart are advertisement click bait. Talk and talk and vent and vent. When you have exhausted your real life options tell us here. I wish you all the happiness and hope you come out a stronger you.

[VeronicaRoss]

It's really early -- you probably will be like this for months before it starts subsiding. It's a real form of grief and that is a wild card, there is no right time clock. The important thing is to be kind to yourself and treat yourself as if someone died.

 

You will get over it. Almost everyone has gone through this, welcome to the human race. Why not ask real life people in your life their break up stories? You'll be amazed, and probably amused!

[somedude81]

Lots of time. A few months at least depending on how long you were together.

 

Try to avoid contacting her if you can. Trying to talk to her won't help.

[mtnbiker3000]

Her birthday is in 10 days time, should i even text her?

 

Absolutely not...

[DollyRocker]

Try to get all your emotions out. I broke up a month ago and there's been lots of tears and sleep less nights but it will start to get better soon.

[Lifegoezon]

You're not NC if you are stalking her Facebook. You are reading too much into what you see which is why you should unfreind and block her from ALL methods of contact or seeing her activity. And NO NO NO birthday text.

 

You aren't yet on day one. Start today.

[rubberman]

Moving forwards, breaking all ties to my ex, removed and blocked her from all of my social medias. She broke up with me, so i said to myself "If she no longer wants me in her life, i dont need her in my life". Also started sleeping with other people, that helped my mind alot.

[Brutus]

Agree, stop checking her online activity on Facebook. This is one of the things that led to my nervous breakdown and ultimately to our breakup. Do not do this to yourself. If you cannot resist checking on her, then remove her from FB. I personally do not like blocking people, but unfriending is completely justified. If you wish let her know you are doing it and why, it makes it a bit more amicable, but keep it short and dry.

[Jiivy]

Agree, stop checking her online activity on Facebook. This is one of the things that led to my nervous breakdown and ultimately to our breakup. Do not do this to yourself. If you cannot resist checking on her, then remove her from FB. I personally do not like blocking people, but unfriending is completely justified. If you wish let her know you are doing it and why, it makes it a bit more amicable, but keep it short and dry.

 

Agreed. I didn't have the strength to keep away from my ex fianceé's facebook when she left me. It also didn't help that she immediately jumped in to a new relationship and flirted with her new boyfriend right there in front of me.

 

We were together 7 years, we lived together, loved together...laughed together. The memories I have of her will echo in my mind forever. Believe me when I tell you that I know the immense pain you're in. She simply upped and gave up on things too.

 

Unfriend her or block her - you know that you can't do this to yourself.

[nutcheesy]

Hi,

 

Lesbian couple here. Anyway, that not the point.

 

We have been together for 2 years, was a strong loving r/s. Then i got too controlling and need/insecure that i chased her away. During this period, she was texting this other girl, and they both like each other, im not sure how deep. After finally going through no contact for 11 days, my ex contacted me and asked me out for dinner. I went, and we acted like a couple, holding hands, kissing and all. We talked a lot. She said she like the new girl but she loves me? She say she cares for the both of us and want the both of us. I told her to make up her mind.

 

I dont know what i am doing now. I feel even worst after meeting her. My heart aches each time i think about how she is caring for someone else. Should i just let go? Is it even worth it for me to stay on this relationship.. She wants to take a break from both of us starting 3 days later for a week. But meanwhile, she still want to text me and have dinner with me. Is it a good choice to still go ahead? Or it's better if i restart NC?

 

Thanks.

[d0nnivain]

I have never had to deal with a break up in the world with FB in it so . . .

 

Two things I do know: FB isn't real & if you are cyber stalking your EX on the site, you aren't NC. This is the cyber equivalent of driving past their house back in the day to see is a new person's car is in the driveway. It's not healthy.

 

My method involved to heal was multifold.

 

First: get drunk immediately after the break up. Usually while playing Love Stinks & similiar music. The next phase involves lots of ice cream, one of my favorite comfort foods & no more binge drinking. You can't stay drunk for more than the 1st weekend otherwise it's a potential problem.

 

Second: box up & put away all the stuff they gave me & the mementos. This includes destroying something. Most often I'd rip a t-shirt to shreads or burn a photo. Very cathartic.

 

Third: change. The house gets redecorated & the furniture moved. I'd get a hair cut etc.

 

Fourth: lists. All the things I want to do that I couldn't do while in a relationship.

 

Fifth: no crying. I usually had to play a game with myself. No crying for an hour, no crying for a day etc. until I would "forget" to play & could no longer remember the last time I cried.

 

Sixth: surround myself with good friends & do things with them I enjoy.

[nutcheesy]

Hi,

 

Lesbian couple here. Anyway, that not the point.

 

We have been together for 2 years, was a strong loving r/s. Then i got too controlling and need/insecure that i chased her away. During this period, she was texting this other girl, and they both like each other, im not sure how deep. After finally going through no contact for 11 days, my ex contacted me and asked me out for dinner. I went, and we acted like a couple, holding hands, kissing and all. We talked a lot. She said she like the new girl but she loves me? She say she cares for the both of us and want the both of us. I told her to make up her mind.

 

I dont know what i am doing now. I feel even worst after meeting her. My heart aches each time i think about how she is caring for someone else. Should i just let go? Is it even worth it for me to stay on this relationship.. She wants to take a break from both of us starting 3 days later for a week. But meanwhile, she still want to text me and have dinner with me. Is it a good choice to still go ahead? Or it's better if i restart NC?

 

Thanks.

[elseaacych]

Time to establish boundaries. Do not agree to dinner or any kind of date. Tell her that she needs to make up her mind, pronto. Deadlines. Tell her you will not accept a break. If she wants a break, you want to "break up".Tell her to decide who she wants. If she wants you, she must cut all contact with the second person. Go NC until she gives her decision, and an apology. If you get ousted, go NC and never look back.