L3stat Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Okay short recap i was broken up with my girlfriend who i still live with.... She was spending all her time talking to this guy. I found out the guy lives in Arizona and we live in NJ so there is zero chance of them hooking up.. She says she loves me and wants to be with but she loves the attention she is getting from this guy.. So instead of breaking up we would well she would be in a open relationship with me. she will be able to talk to him and be with me. I don't like it but i was so heartbroken over her that i am agreeing to this even though i don't like it.. We will do everything as a couple, we still sleep together and spend time together but 5x a week after 10 she will be talking to this guy and i will be pretending like i am cool with it. Now i know i was a terrible boyfriend to her and i did do alot of things to push her this far so i know that this is my fault so i am thinking that if i am a better bf and fix and change 100% all the things that she didn't like about me which that i can show her that im all she needs. Am i setting myself up or do i have a chance?
VeronicaRoss Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 there is only one person you should be asking that question, her! 1
zyketti Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Perhaps you could have an open communication with her and tell her that you will be the person to give her all the attention she needs, so she doesn't have to crave it from someone else? 2
deathandtaxes Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 You have zero chance if you green light this behavior. You're missing an opportunity to address problems that exist in your own relationship. Something is causing her to reach out and seek the attention elsewhere. Solve that, and no need for this arrangement. 1
CarrieT Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Am i setting myself up or do i have a chance? You have no chance. You are letting her walk all over you because you are too afraid to be alone and find someone worthy of you. 1
Kikikady Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Open relationships are not for everyone. Think good and hard about it. Do your research. Some find it wonderful others fail. We have just started an open relationship but we have been together for 17 yrs and have a small son. We are best friends and are completely bonded in many many ways. It takes lots of work, rules, boundaries and 100% complete honesty. If things are rough now I would not start an open relationship. You need to be on good terms when starting this. Search your heart and soul good and hard first. If someone is already hurting deeply its gonna make things even harder. Just my 2 cents... best of luck... peace
Chi townD Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Okay, what happens when this guy comes out for a visit? You cool with her spending the week in his hotel room? Or what if he sends her a plane ticket? You gonna be okay with her being out there with him? Because, that's what is going to happen. It's not a question of "If", it's a question of "when".
Natsume21 Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Been there. Done that. You think the sex is gonna make it better, but sex with your ex(which, face it, she clearly is but doesn't want to tell you) is painful as hell if she dumped you. Let's face the facts, you call it an open relationship, but is it really? Sounds like you're just option number 2 till this guy comes around. Clearly, you're not okay with this, because this isn't a true open relationship, cause while he gets all the wanted attention, you get squat. You know what to do, you just don't want to do it--Natusme21
ThatMan Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Kikikady, I think I can guess why you would revisit a month old discussion. I think those who are in legitimate open relationships should be offended for comparing them to this poor situation.
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