Sane Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I'm a nice person. I have a good personality, but I have very average looks. Sure, I've been complimented on my looks but realistically if my hair wasn't styled and I didn't have makeup on I'd probably be a 3/10 for most people. I would be described as a butterhead. Everything looks good, but her head. Yeah. My friend and I get along very well. He's very subtly implied that he may want to date me in the future. I don't really give him any response to his comments. I don't respond to him if he tells me he loves me. He's a womanizer. I know better. Unfortunately, we've become more close every day. I've known him for two years. He's attractive. The ladies love him. I know he cares about me. I doubt I will be dating him, but if I ever did, I would be concerned about my looks. He is more attractive than me. Would this be a problem?? I am confident in my personality. We have natural chemistry. It's the stupid physical attractiveness factor among other things that throws this off.
KatZee Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Really? This is how you talk to yourself? "I'm a butterhead." "I'm a 3/10." The only thing that's a mess here are the voices in your head. The insecurity alone is what's going to prevent guys from being with you, not your actual looks. 5
Eivuwan Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Or why would you want to be with someone who you are not attractive enough for?
Noproblem Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Most of the pretty girls you see everyday are 3 of 10, but they baically do the same things you do anyway.. and yeah many of them think they are not pretty enough too! Meanwhile, girls who don't care about their look and they are really simple or not even trying to be anything that attractive, yet they are confident ..Those get all the hot and handsome guys! 1
Noproblem Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Most of the pretty girls you see everyday are 3 of 10, but they baically do the same things you do anyway.. and yeah many of them think they are not pretty enough too! Models will not look very attractive without their make up, nice clothes, and hairstyles and yeah their great photographer they are as average as the rest, except they are slightly taller and thinner. True beauty is not that common, you see beautiful attractive girls all the time, but if you really look close enough, without all the extra things that make them beautiful, they are average just like the rest but that's not a problem, what makes a person beautiful is many other things, not just the look. Meanwhile, girls who don't care about their look and not even trying to be anything that attractive, yet they are confident ..Those get all the hot and handsome guys! and yeah once that guy falls for you, he'll start seeing you very very beautiful even if you weren't That's why they call love blind But beware, once he starts seeing your ugly side, he'll start seeing you for real So, if you don't have an ugly side. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just enjoy it while it lasts, and it might last for a week or for eternity Who knows! 1
Author Sane Posted April 13, 2014 Author Posted April 13, 2014 Really? This is how you talk to yourself? "I'm a butterhead." "I'm a 3/10." The only thing that's a mess here are the voices in your head. The insecurity alone is what's going to prevent guys from being with you, not your actual looks. You are very right. I am old enough to speak above what I am saying. I was bullied when I was younger through high school based on my looks. Some things always stick. I know. You are right.
Author Sane Posted April 13, 2014 Author Posted April 13, 2014 Most of the pretty girls you see everyday are 3 of 10, but they baically do the same things you do anyway.. and yeah many of them think they are not pretty enough too! Models will not look very attractive without their make up, nice clothes, and hairstyles and yeah their great photographer they are as average as the rest, except they are slightly taller and thinner. True beauty is not that common, you see beautiful attractive girls all the time, but if you really look close enough, without all the extra things that make them beautiful, they are average just like the rest but that's not a problem, what makes a person beautiful is many other things, not just the look. Meanwhile, girls who don't care about their look and not even trying to be anything that attractive, yet they are confident ..Those get all the hot and handsome guys! and yeah once that guy falls for you, he'll start seeing you very very beautiful even if you weren't That's why they call love blind But beware, once he starts seeing your ugly side, he'll start seeing you for real So, if you don't have an ugly side. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just enjoy it while it lasts, and it might last for a week or for eternity Who knows! Very true. Thanks. The only ugly side I have is thinking that I am not worth anything. That is a lack confidence and would definitely be considered ugly. I can also be moody, but who isn't? 1
Leigh 87 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 The OP is probably an average looking girl who would have options if she had higher self esteem. I am sure you don't have anything blatantly offensive about your looks. I mean I digress, a person can be "3/10'' if they are offensive to look at due to being disfigured or if they have a small face with a nose that is literally the size of their head. Most people who think lowly of their looks/themselves tend to have nothing "unpleasant" about their faces. They are just not stunners who get all the guy to call them gorgeous, and so they assume they are "butter faces" I have had to try to overcome people telling me that I was just plain ugly. I was told I was hideous. I was abused by my exes friends. They sent me vile facebook messages telling me I was so ugly and that I should be hit by a train. I never felt good enough for him. Fast forward a year after the break up and I have guys and girls telling me left right and centre that I am stunning, gorgeous etc.... I love my straight teeth, my clear skin and my very full lips and huge eyes. I like the way I look even if not everyone else thinks I am anything special. After my ex who I never truly felt attractive enough for, I met guys who thought I WAS very attractive. Don't be around people who make you feel like this. Figure out of it is them making you feel this way, as is the case with my exes friends who outright TOLD ME I was an ugly f*cker..... Or is it all in your head? Irrespective of whether it is a mental thing OR if anyone has SAID anything to make you doubt yourself, you should not get with this guy. You need to address your low self esteem before you will be ready for a relationship. Oh and the people who called my hideous.... some of the guys tried to have sex with my after the break up:sick: Some people are disgusting. Decent, kind people do not go around calling other people names. Caring, compassionate and "lovely" people do not call other people ugly. This guy is a player so watch for his friends... they may be men who call women ugly just because they do not have perfect features that live up to that of a model. Be careful, I seriously wouldn't get serious with a guy who is a player, it is asking for trouble. Especially for a woman like yourself who rates yourself lowly when it comes to your looks; you and a player are a deadly combination 3
Noproblem Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Very true. Thanks. The only ugly side I have is thinking that I am not worth anything. That is a lack confidence and would definitely be considered ugly. I can also be moody, but who isn't? We are all moody If you read in this website or others Men starts seeing you unattractive, once you start complaining about your look or weight They hate that.. Even if you were really really beautiful...He'll start seeing you as unattractive .. So, even if you felt you are not beautiful enough as him Remember, on the other side, he is not as nice as you are as ________ as you are as______ as you are You fill in the blanks which will make you two even in the end And whatever happens, don't tell him how you feel ever about your look or you being not good enough for him. 1
sagetalk Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 He is more attractive than me. Would this be a problem?? I am confident in my personality. We have natural chemistry. It's the stupid physical attractiveness factor among other things that throws this off. Your post is full of double talk, and you sound very confused. You do not sound like you are in any condition to date this guy. You need to work on building your self esteem up. Low self esteem makes women attracted to men who abuse them like a rented mule. Low self esteem in a girl is a very dangerous thing, lose it, you don't need it. After your self esteem improves, you will want much better options than a womanizer. 3
Leigh 87 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I was also bullied mercilessly in high school. I ate lunch in the toilet. I have since gone on to have a lot of men tell me I am attractive. Things change since high school, there are things about you that some men will like. Things changed for me personally, once I found things I liked about myself and stopped caring AS MUCH what other people thought. I mean, at least I liked my new straight teeth after my braces. I really like my full lips, I don't even need to put lipstick on and guys drool over them. I know not everyone finds me attractive, but it was when I personally picked out features about myself that I liked and was proud of, that the guys started coming at me. It sounds like you could really benefit from therapy and adopting a more positive outlook. Therapy helped me and is known to have a good success rate among those with lose self esteem. 4
hoping2heal Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I'm a nice person. I have a good personality, but I have very average looks. Sure, I've been complimented on my looks but realistically if my hair wasn't styled and I didn't have makeup on I'd probably be a 3/10 for most people. I would be described as a butterhead. Everything looks good, but her head. Yeah. My friend and I get along very well. He's very subtly implied that he may want to date me in the future. I don't really give him any response to his comments. I don't respond to him if he tells me he loves me. He's a womanizer. I know better. Unfortunately, we've become more close every day. I've known him for two years. He's attractive. The ladies love him. I know he cares about me. I doubt I will be dating him, but if I ever did, I would be concerned about my looks. He is more attractive than me. Would this be a problem?? I am confident in my personality. We have natural chemistry. It's the stupid physical attractiveness factor among other things that throws this off. If he wasn't attracted to you he wouldn't want to date you. But, I would be more concerned about the fact that he's a womanizer throwing things off, than the difference in attractiveness levels. 1
TheNextLawyer Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I was also bullied mercilessly in high school. I ate lunch in the toilet. I have since gone on to have a lot of men tell me I am attractive. Things change since high school, there are things about you that some men will like. Things changed for me personally, once I found things I liked about myself and stopped caring AS MUCH what other people thought. I mean, at least I liked my new straight teeth after my braces. I really like my full lips, I don't even need to put lipstick on and guys drool over them. I know not everyone finds me attractive, but it was when I personally picked out features about myself that I liked and was proud of, that the guys started coming at me. It sounds like you could really benefit from therapy and adopting a more positive outlook. Therapy helped me and is known to have a good success rate among those with lose self esteem. You're a great poster Leigh, and all I can say is agree with everything you've suggested (even if I'm male and have to imagine some of the perspective). 2
Leigh 87 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Thanks:o People like her think it is acceptable to say it out loud and even ridicule another person about the way that they look. Where as a nice person wouldn't say anything at all if there wasn't anything nice to be said. What perplexed me is.,.... the losers that called me "ugly", I thought to myself " well you guys are not exactly model material yourselves, why so harsh on me when you, yourselves are no better than I look, by MOST peoples standards?" I mean I think things but I do not SAY them:o Who in their right mind would make rude remarks about a woman their mate was dating? Only very horrible people, THAT'S WHO. People that don't have a lot to offer the world. They simple lack basic human decency. No decent, loving and compassionate person will ever see the merit in wanting to be around these vile individuals. The girl who attacked me the most as 22, she looked about 30, smoked, and was generally not appealing by most peoples standards (everyone who I know who saw her agreed she was unappealing). I would NEVER say that to her or people around her if she was indeed dating a male friend of mine! 2
OhThatGirl Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 OP, let this be a lesson for you that I've learned myself. Guy friends are easy to hook. It's usually the guys that I am not interested in dating that want me the most. With guy friends I care very little about my appeal. I'm secure and confident because I can honestly just breath and be entirely myself. I don't want them so I don't care if they see my ankles aren't the thinnest most shapely ankles. Don't care if they notice I have a really flat chest. Don't care if they notice I have shifting of my once-perfect post braces teeth. I'm less invested in them. Our interaction isn't one based on physical attraction so there isn't the risk of being rejected for physical imperfections. They really just get the best of my personality, confidence, intelligence and humor. A guy that I get to know from a romantic perspective first? Totally opposite. I probably try a little too hard to look my best at all times, feeling always "on" and trying to rid or compensate for any imperfections. I look at myself from a very critical man's point of view. A guy that I'm attracted to but isn't attracted to me is pretty bad rejection. It would sting a lot worse than someone who finds my humor offensive or my chronic lateness intolerable. But BECAUSE I focus on these physical things and become insecure about them, my confidence comes across as poor. It's unattractive. Without confidence I can't even put forth my same shining personality. I've realized I do this. So now when I'm starting to see someone romantically, I consciously have to force myself to disregard the physical attraction stuff. I have to know that my chances of looking beautiful and flawless are much much higher if I keep it firmly in my mind that the guy I'm interested in sees me as such. It has helped me immensely! I no longer have to wonder why only the guys I'm not interested in are interested in me! I actually know to dial back the confidence and goofiness with male friends (which I assume has been looking a little more like flirting to them) and instead, boost that with the guys I have more invested in. So, if you have been open with this guy for 2 years and he really knows you, has seen you in every aspect, trust that it's because he likes the whole package. You've given him the opportunity to see you for the relaxed you who wasn't worried about trying to impress him with looks. If you get involved with him, DO NOT LET THAT CHANGE. The most unattractive thing us girls can do is move beyond friendship with a guy and suddenly lose the self esteem and confidence they started falling for in the first place! Soooo... All of this is incredibly important but if he's a womanizer, I'd opt to stay out of that ****storm unless he reeeeally wants to show you why you're worth changing his pattern for.
Armegoggon Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I suggest you either try to think of ways to look good or at least have the guts to ask your friend out. Nothing feels better than just having a hot friend. Perhaps if he still friendzones you, you can ask him for tips to look better. Other than that don't worry that deeply about looks.
bluegreen Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 The only thing you should be worried about is : He is womanizer and you know it 1
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I'm a nice person. I have a good personality, but I have very average looks. Sure, I've been complimented on my looks but realistically if my hair wasn't styled and I didn't have makeup on I'd probably be a 3/10 for most people. I would be described as a butterhead. Everything looks good, but her head. Yeah. My friend and I get along very well. He's very subtly implied that he may want to date me in the future. I don't really give him any response to his comments. I don't respond to him if he tells me he loves me. He's a womanizer. I know better. Unfortunately, we've become more close every day. I've known him for two years. He's attractive. The ladies love him. I know he cares about me. I doubt I will be dating him, but if I ever did, I would be concerned about my looks. He is more attractive than me. Would this be a problem?? I am confident in my personality. We have natural chemistry. It's the stupid physical attractiveness factor among other things that throws this off. If he finds you attractive, he finds you attractive. Don't question it. It's a great way to drive them away, if you do. Have a little faith. Womanisers are capable of commitment too!
sagetalk Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 unless he reeeeally wants to show you why you're worth changing his pattern for. Please no, do not try to change men. He is what he is like it or leave it. It will only be a superficial change to make you happy and get into your pants. The only things that can truly change a man are spiritual not women. 1
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