Bishop556 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 So, yesterday I ran into my ex while she was with a group of friends. I was by myself working on some homework. I heard her laughing, enjoying herself with her boyfriend and her friends. While some would be hurt to see their ex happy, it actually brought a smile and slight tears to my eyes. I was so happy to know that my ex was happy even if she wasn't with anymore. I always cared about my partners happiness. I always tried to bring joy into her life as I truly loved her, and seeing her joyful was enough to brighten my day. I guess I am in the acceptance stage, as I was no longer hurt knowing that she was with someone else. When I left the coffee shop, I felt like crying due to the emotions I was feeling. It was strange because I was truly happy, but it was bittersweet knowing that my ex is gone from my life and that I am not the one bringing her happiness and that life has made us distant. I have been wanting to apologize to her for sometime now for how I acted post break up. The advice I need from this community is whether I should. I do not want my ex back, I just want to own up to my side of the break up and start a new path in my life. I also want her to know that I am truly sorry for how I treated her. Apologies should be about the other person, so I am still contemplating whether I am doing this for myself or for her. If I feel it is for her, then I'll do it. Otherwise, no. Any kind words or advice to help me out, anyone.
BC1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I'd advise against it. I think that most apologies are self-serving even if we don't recognize it. She probably doesn't care much anyway I hate to say. 2
Lifegoezon Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I think you should leave well alone. If you're questioning your motives you're not yet at indifference. It's possible this contact has aroused feelings which are tricking you and making you want to reach out. You weren't thinking about apologising before this after all. And I agree she's not likely to care so it wouldn't be for her at all. 1
BC1980 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I think you should leave well alone. If you're questioning your motives you're not yet at indifference. It's possible this contact has aroused feelings which are tricking you and making you want to reach out. You weren't thinking about apologising before this after all. And I agree she's not likely to care so it wouldn't be for her at all. Right. You may not even realize what you actually feel. It might take a few days to figure it out. The last thing you need to do is make the move to apologize after you've been emotional.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 No, leave it alone. The best apology is to leave her alone to live her own life. 1
Haynes Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 I think it's great that you feel happy for her. That's very noble of you. However, I agree with the other posters that you shouldn't offer an apology at this stage. The best apology is to leave her be. The only thing apologizing will accomplish is bringing back memories for her and you'll quite likely be at the forefront of her mind again. She's happy now and you need to let her live her life without you. If she has a mature attitude then I'm sure she forgives you She's happy and that's the important thing. You need to focus on yourself now. (Also, first post!)
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