mercuryshadow Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Long story short, a good friend of mine has been through the ringer time and time again with her BF/FI of 4 years. They lived together twice, and twice the arrangement did not work out. They've broken up a few times, but have always gotten back together. From what she tells me, he is lazy, doesn't help with house work, cleaning our cooking, says incredibly disrespectful things to her when they are in the midst of conflict, etc. a few moths ago, they moved out of the apartment they shared, but stayed together. And afterward, they got engaged... ??? I tried to be happy for her, but truly did not understand. I've never wanted to be a friend who instills doubt, but to be brutally honest, I don't like this guy, and I don't foresee a happy ending for them. This whole while, I've simply supported her in the way I felt she needed, but when she comes to me with the same complaints about him, I don't know what to say anymore. She's torturing herself. My question is: am I being a bad friend by withholding my honest opinion? I don't want to hurt her. I honestly thought she'd learn a lesson on her own, but now I'm seeing that she may not. When I was in a toxic relationship for many years, I remember feeling angry with anyone who would try to tell me to leave, or that my bf was terrible, etc. is there some middle ground to be had in this case?
d0nnivain Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 If she asks you what you think you can express your negative opinion but you need to phrase it in a gentle way so she understands that you care about her & that you will support her, no matter what. Unless she asks, all you can do is keep your mouth shut & try not to say I told you so
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