ripheart Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Tried to keep it short and sweet but failed miserably!! :'(.. A girl who thought is torn between two lovers, cheated for almost 2 months, technically dumped her SO after a pretty amazing and trouble free 6 year long relationship out of blue for the new guy.. Now the girl who was really happy post breakup & thought it was the best decision she ever made, after 2 months, has entered a confusion stage where she is doubting her decision but still not ready to come back and so not contacting the ex as she does not want to give him any false hope cuz she realizes she has already caused too much hurt and pain to someone she deeply cares about, and cant do any more... Also, I said technically she dumped cuz it could be argued it was more of a case of the EX letting the girl he truly loved go than she leaving him, and the way he handled everything, it was a pretty cool stuff he did there.. Now he did entered his own survival mode, but doing fine now, may be better in many regards than before, spoiling himself, has accepted this thing is over between them.. for now !! .. A part of him is actually loving this period, cuz it has taught him and made him able to see things he could never do while in relationship, and is pretty much loved person by his friends so his confidence has not really shattered!! Also he is casually dating 2 girls, so that helps too !! But there is another reason why he is doing pretty well post break up,, all the signs and whispers on the street tells the story that the roles have reversed!! While the girl was with him,, in last few months of their relationship, she was always thinking about the new guy.. She was trying to find reasons to hate him and it was pretty awful.. But now, she is with the new guy and she is thinking about him!! She is losing her sleep for the decision she made, spying the EX on fb and whatsapp, and somewhere now she is trying to force herself into this new relationship thinking with time everything will be fine, exactly what she was doing before with the EX ... He thinks he is better off being the person she misses than the one she is talking too.. He also thinks if she has not moved on from him now, she will never be while she is with him, its more kind of rebound now, and he is starting to get this weird kind of secure feeling.. He is thinking their stability was the reason their affair was working, and now he has cut off the support system so its gonna crash... and he wants her to try this relationship and fail miserably then come back cuz if she comes back right now, it will again be going down the same road... He is actually started enjoying doing NC !! Now the 'contact' is pretty much round the corner eventhough they both are trying not to.. The guy does still think she was a pretty amazing girl until she did what she did, but knows she is immature and wants her to come back when she learns a few things on her own and is ready for this.. So how should he play?? Ignore her calls and texts,, or show indifference, like it does not matter to him, she is just another girl!! The second part he is pretty confident he can pull it off but still does not want to be over confident cuz feelings are invoked without warnings .. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY FORWARD??... He actually wants to be without her for say 6 months,, and improve on himself, enjoy this little period being single, test this love he feels for her, and is pretty enlightened to know how to risk it all and understands if its meant to be,, it will be!! That time and distance will only have positive effect, and the only way he can push her away is by being with her!! Break up is still too fresh for successful reconciliation to happen!! And knows even if they dont end up together, he will cherish the times and move on with good memories and will be a better person cuz she happened to him nonetheless !! Some Background about the girl, the situation also resembles a lot to GIGS (Both were 24 and each others first)-- 1.. Insanity and madness are her 2nd and third names!! 2.. was very honest (and rude) before she started lying !! 3.. Was the most popular girl of the school .. 4.. Was a girl you would look and say she will have dozen of bfs but would not be able to settle with anyone!! 5.. But she met this guy,, loved him madly,, would fight a lot but never that fight lasted longer than say 2 hrs .. 6.. They were pretty much inseparable,, there was almost never a day in 6 years, they were not in touch !! 7.. No nagging, no playing games.... 8.. Immature, which actually the guy liked until it ruined them.. She was like a kid and he loved her !! 9.. Was so much into the idea of marrying him, met his mother 7 month back, got good friends with his little brother, was window shopping wedding dresses, furnitures for their new home to be, they were supposed to get married this year!! 10.. Was really irrational post break up, kind of in denial, except idealizing the new guy to extreme, also thinks she never loved this guy, they were never compatible, its like she is trying to convince herself those things !! 11.. By her own admission, knows she is doing wrong, but there is weird attraction she feels for the new guy which she cant resist, and she cannot hurt this guy too!! 12.. She feels guilty for what she did, but I guess now what she is doing is exactly what she should be doing.. Once she got that feeling, she just had to leave the old guy, be with the new guy, then either u stay happy with the new one or get this thing out of your system, start valuing more what you had once, try to make amends and hope for the best!! P.S.: I guess there is no one to be blamed here really.. It may all just be a part of growing up.. Good people do bad things and nobody is perfect is what I understand from all this ..
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