K1981 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 (edited) I was with my boyfriend about 5 months I know that's not long but I really loved him thought he felt the same we spent every weekend together he would text and call all the time on our breaks in work an when we got home. I thought we were both so happy. He said he loved me all the time before going to sleep. Then we went on holiday. A walking one and where you had to drive most places I got very car sick an tired the whole week so it wasn't great. The last few days we hardly talked. As halfway through we had a small tiff I thought anyway. The day we got home we sat for two hours after hardly talking all day an he said he felt like something was missing. An that he loved me an had not lost the attraction so it wasn't that anyway in the end I left upset not knowing where I stood. Was supposed to give him some time. I got home told him I made it ok then rang him an asked what I was supposed to do after a while he said we should split cause we were too different to work I could not understand this as I did things he like and enjoyed them even went camping. Anyway the next few days I wanted answers an he just wasn't giving me them I sent too many messages I know I shouldn't have but missed him so much and didn't understand how we could be so happy then not. Now I've stopped texting him. And asked him to remove me of a social network if he was sure he didn't want me in his life hours later he had not just removed me but blocked me. It really hurt. The few times we spoke he kept saying too different an getting angry then silent at times. Help please Edited April 12, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
hoping2heal Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 It sounds like whatever happened on that trip, put the idea into his head that you two are not compatible. 1
Trovador Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I think he was already on the fence and that trip (or rather, the consequences of) triggered his decision... Yes, it sux big time to be dumped when one doesn't expect it and when everything seems so smooth (as opposed when there are signals here and there, pretty much like being fired from job but I disagree...) but you have to respect his wishes the same way you'd expect it were you the dumper... Don't get hurt by being deleted and or blocked from social media and this maybe will help you to keep your distance, since you must disappear from his life, this is for your own good... We have been there and we know too well that excruciating pain in the middle of the soul but we all here now, breathing life and tasting the peace we believed never would experience again... you will soon be there too, believe it...
Author K1981 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 Thanks for the response. I'm still at the stage. When I'm alone and know normally we would be spending time together an wondering cause I miss him so much. Does he not miss me. Like I said we were so happy. He would always grab my hand when we were out always asking if I felt ok in the car on long trips cause he know I got sick. So he said he loved me it wasn't that an was still attracted to me then the day we split he said I do care about you. But suppose I ruined that with the messages. The last time he actually spoke to me he said take care. I met his whole family. Basically I stayed over at his house nearly every other weekend for 2 sometimes 3 nights cause I work shifts. He would bring me a coffee on my break in work when he was off. I just can't help but think it takes more than 5 months to really get to know someone.
Author K1981 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 Update he has text. Saying sorry he hurt me but we are too incompatible. But I still don't understand he wouldn't say how an said he asked me before how we weren't an I couldn't tell him. I was upset at the time an he wouldn't give me any ways either. Anyway he said to stop contacting him so I will.
Author K1981 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 Hoping2Heal. Thanks I wish maybe I was the light at the end of the tunnel as he said we are incompatible I don't think he will change his mind I don't think he is the type of guy to do that. Still can't get what he means we wanted the same things out of life we like the same thing not all though lol. I just think he didn't want to work on it.I know how stubborn he can be so I just have to get over it. An hopefully find someone else one day. He was my first real love and it is hard to think I will find someone else who I am so attracted to an loved so much that I thought he was the one
smileforelena Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Its not easy and there will be days that it will be a struggle but you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. In this journey I realized you have to be a easy on yourself. Dont beat up yourself if you think about him, miss him or hoping that things will get back to how they were. But you have to be disciplined. I think this is what Im learning on my own journey.
hoping2heal Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Hoping2Heal. Thanks I wish maybe I was the light at the end of the tunnel as he said we are incompatible I don't think he will change his mind I don't think he is the type of guy to do that. Still can't get what he means we wanted the same things out of life we like the same thing not all though lol. I just think he didn't want to work on it.I know how stubborn he can be so I just have to get over it. An hopefully find someone else one day. He was my first real love and it is hard to think I will find someone else who I am so attracted to an loved so much that I thought he was the one I think it can be especially difficult with first love loss, because you do not yet have the experience of moving on and realizing that you are capable of loving again, but you will be. I think this guy does care for you - and that's why he's being honest as well as asking you not to contact him, because he doesn't want you to have false hope and be further hurt. That's a good thing - not all people are so lucky to have an ex who is that considerate of their feelings. Try not to take it to heart as something bad about yourself, incompatibility is no one's fault, it is not about not being good enough. It just means there are differences that make you not right together as a match, even if feelings "feel" otherwise. You will heal if you allow yourself to and you will go on to have love again, maybe heart break again too, but there is always the chance for a great love even still. When you find the man who loves you and accepts you and sees you as his match, you will appreciate not being with someone who would be a mis-match. 2
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