emva07 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 (edited) So I met a guy a month ago....from the beginning we liked each other....on the third date he asked me to be his gf....and he put it on facebook. He would constantly talk about the future....future vacations, future kids, me meeting his two daughters and them calling me mommy, he told EVERYONE about me and he was overall obsessed. His mom friend requested me. Would joke about moving in. He could tell that all this talk would make me nervous, i'd either laugh it off or say stuff like "idk about all that" or "too soon" Three weeks later....I get a letter he drops off on my doorstep around midnight (he lives 30 mins away) saying he needs to sort **** out and is not ready for a relationship right now (one that HE proposed and I stupidly accepted even tho i knew better) (he mentioned 3 specific issues including spiritual setbacks he's encountered since he claims to want to live a no sex before marriage life) and we used to have sex like 5 times a day and it was amazing! He also admitted that due to lack of discipline he is aware he moved wayy too fast and is sorry but would like to maybe give it another go in a month or two but in the meantime would like to stay friends (with no benefits). WTF? And who says I will just sit tight waiting while he does God knows what with God knows who?? We are both 26 Edited April 12, 2014 by emva07
Tressugar Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Too many red flags to mention, but always remember fools rush into situations. Next time know this is a red flag.
Omei Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 You don't sit tight, all that in 3 weeks gosh wayyy too fast, how did you even deal with it? I would of freaked and ran. You might of been a rebound
Author emva07 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 You don't sit tight, all that in 3 weeks gosh wayyy too fast, how did you even deal with it? I would of freaked and ran. You might of been a rebound Yeah I was already thinking I would probably be able to do a few more weeks if he kept that up. His divorce was in 2012, I asked if there were rebounds he said he had gotten that all out of his system with this girl who wrecked his car, his computer, and moved in and was looking for normal now, no more crazy.....but you never know *shrugs*
Tayken Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 So I met a guy a month ago....from the beginning we liked each other....on the third date he asked me to be his gf....and he put it on facebook. He would constantly talk about the future....future vacations, future kids, me meeting his two daughters and them calling me mommy, he told EVERYONE about me and he was overall obsessed. His mom friend requested me. Would joke about moving in. He could tell that all this talk would make me nervous, i'd either laugh it off or say stuff like "idk about all that" or "too soon" Three weeks later....I get a letter he drops off on my doorstep around midnight (he lives 30 mins away) saying he needs to sort **** out and is not ready for a relationship right now (one that HE proposed and I stupidly accepted even tho i knew better) (he mentioned 3 specific issues including spiritual setbacks he's encountered since he claims to want to live a no sex before marriage life) and we used to have sex like 5 times a day and it was amazing! He also admitted that due to lack of discipline he is aware he moved wayy too fast and is sorry but would like to maybe give it another go in a month or two but in the meantime would like to stay friends (with no benefits). WTF? And who says I will just sit tight waiting while he does God knows what with God knows who?? We are both 26 Well.....there is a myriad of cliche's that apply here....only fools rush in, all good things come to those who wait etc I think your age had something to do with this, and perhaps your self esteem.....? The guy had two kids and he is talking about them calling you mommy blah blah and you didn't run? Sex 5 times a day...where did you find the time to go to work?
Author emva07 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 Hey no need to call me gullible! Yes I take responsibility for having accepted this silliness. I didn't know how to handle it, I felt bad because he was super sweet and romantic but at the same time I knew that I wouldn't be able to take comments like that for more than a few more weeks without having to cut it off. As far as waiting, not everyone has the same policy.
Tayken Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Why are you so gullible? It takes two people to rush in. If I had a guy making future plans after a couple of weeks, I'd run in the other direction. I don't even let a guy feel up my blouse the first few weeks let alone have sex. I want to know exactly where things are going. I guess we will take your word for it.....even if he is Brad Pitt hot?
nescafe1982 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Yes, OP, I think the biggest lesson here is that if you meet a man who is in an awful hurry, chances are he's 1) not truly ready for a relationship, 2) out for a hookup, or both. Maybe from here forward you will identify ways to put the brakes on things when a man tries to move so fast. It's better for both parties to not rush it, IMO. I wouldn't wait up on this one, if I were in your shoes. 1
Author emva07 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 (edited) thanks, yes. As stupid as it sounds I didn't know these were red flags, I've never experienced someone rushing or rushed myself. I did know that if made me uncomfortable and I was going to end it soon if it continued. Moving forward I"m going with my gut, if something feels off it's off. Oh from reading articles online, I think I was a rebound....at least I know the signs now for future reference. Wow what a long rebound period he's having! And no, i'm not devastated, lol. I will probably not even remember him in a couple months. Was just wondering who the hell did stuff like this. Yes, OP, I think the biggest lesson here is that if you meet a man who is in an awful hurry, chances are he's 1) not truly ready for a relationship, 2) out for a hookup, or both. Maybe from here forward you will identify ways to put the brakes on things when a man tries to move so fast. It's better for both parties to not rush it, IMO. I wouldn't wait up on this one, if I were in your shoes. Edited April 12, 2014 by emva07
Leigh 87 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Hey, this has happened to me too.... This guy could have been really into you, it is not always a case of them lying to begin with, from the outset... It doesn't add up though; we all know that things that go way too fast are often off. We all know something is amiss when in our gut, we KNOW full well we shouldn't just rush into things. But alas, that is what strong chemistry does:D we allow ourselves to get carried away because it FEELS good. I did the same thing as you last year and who knows WHAT these guys were thinking. Maybe they were really into us? But when things are not right, when they move way too fast, something IS amiss with them. Whether they are truly into us as much as they claim to be OR NOT, we will never know. It isn't always a case of them being cold hearted liars, some guys are just not right mentally, they are not ready for a relationship or there are a whole host of other issues a man can have that makes him rush into things when he is not... all "there". I met a guy and we had such intense chemistry that we made out as soon as we met. The chemistry was palpable, so I let us rush into things. He disappeared a month later. I think he had mental problems. Which he did tell me about. I should have been wary. Next time I met a guy I felt the "it " factor with chemistry wise, I waited a little before rushing into bed with him. I am still with him, I could tell he was a genuine guy before sleeping with him. You did nothing wrong, you just made a simple mistake that many of us women make. You have come on here and it is obvious you know what went wrong, so I have no doubt that you will not go out and do something like this again. Luckily these things fizzle out as fast as they start out! Not enough time spent with the guy to be too distraught... In MY case, however, I WAS very upset.... After two other guys fell through in the months prior, it FINALLY struck me that I simply couldn't feel more than "hopeful' with new men. I would feel " men that sucks" but I stopped investing too much early on. Good thing you have only taken this ONE time to learn.. other slow learners like me need 2 - 3 times before we wake up to ourselves:lmao: 1
Guitarisgood Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Move on. It is most likely that he has found someone else or another flame has jumped into the future; adding to you guys doing in a short time what a couple would almost take a year to do. By all means if you like him and want to give him the benefit of the doubt, keep him around and see in a month or so but in the mean time, get out there and meet new people. I'm skeptical as the break up sounds pretty generic. 1
ja123 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 His mom friend requested me. Nooooooooooo!!! OK. He inherited "rushing" from his mom.
bluegreen Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I can get that he freaked himself out kind of like baby does. First laughs to hard then scares itself and bursts into screaming fit. What I can't get is why were you NOT freaked out by his behavior right off ?
mammasita Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Did I tell you about the guy who took me to meet his mom on our first date? Two weeks later, I was wasting his time because I wouldn't have sex. Rush much? 1
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