carolinenoelle9 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 So long story short, a very close guy friend of mine is the sweetest guy ever and has been there for me through a lot. I just recently got out of a very long relationship and definitely am not over it. He was there for me through all that and so supportive and sweet. He always drops hints about how crazy he is about me but he's too shy to make a move. I'm not sure how I feel about him, I definitely am attracted to him and he is so nice and sweet, but I'm afraid if I explore my romantic side with him and it doesn't work out he will be deco stated and the friendship ruined.
Raena Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Don't do it! Right now you need your friends! If you aren't feeling it with him then don't go there and ruin your friendship just because you are feeling lonely and he seems interested. Give it time... when you have fully healed you might see things differently with him but if you do it now while you are still hurting then you more than likely will do exactly what you are afraid of... hurt him and ruin your friendship.
soccerrprp Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Do the decent thing and don't start something romantic with him. You admit that you are not ready, so spare him any disappointment.
preraph Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 You know, it seems like when you just break up with someone and need time to heal and process it is the very time guys come out of the woodwork. Sometimes I don't think you should trust their motives because it's a bit like a cheetah singling out the lame antelope. They know you're more vulnerable. Of course, it depends on their conduct. But it's not a good time to get into another relationship. After a big public nasty cheating with best friend breakup, I had four guys I already knew circling the wagons. I think in that case, it was mostly good and maybe kept me from spiraling down in the "I am worthless and unattractive" black hole, but it was disconcerting. And then one friend after those others stepped back pretty much insisted on us being together. It just isn't a good time. It ruined the friendship pretty much. I mean, the last thing you need on top of losing a love is to then line up your "friends," date them, and then have that fail and one by one lose them as well. I say just go out with friends, meet new people, stay busy and just file him away for when you're back in the saddle.
hackney Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I am a guy: I would sit him down and tell him exactly what you wrote here. Guys respond well to 'hard facts' and possibilities. So long story short, a very close guy friend of mine is the sweetest guy ever and has been there for me through a lot. I just recently got out of a very long relationship and definitely am not over it. He was there for me through all that and so supportive and sweet. He always drops hints about how crazy he is about me but he's too shy to make a move. I'm not sure how I feel about him, I definitely am attracted to him and he is so nice and sweet, but I'm afraid if I explore my romantic side with him and it doesn't work out he will be deco stated and the friendship ruined.
hackney Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 To add to that... I think it's good to be open and not hidden. Don't beat around the bush. If he's a "smart guy" he'll get it. And, no matter what happens, that kind of intimacy will only serve to make you both closer, whether friends or more than that. I am a guy: I would sit him down and tell him exactly what you wrote here. Guys respond well to 'hard facts' and possibilities.
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