card Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Hi everyone. I've decided to try dating again after being in kind of a messed up relationship for a few months. I'm a junior in high school and this girl is a sophomore. I'd rather date someone in my own grade but so many of them don't seem like they'd be a good fit. Plus there's only like 100 kids in my grade. Anyway, I've just kind of seen this girl post around in Facebook and she seems really smart as well as funny. Cute too. The only problem is that I don't know her at all personally. I was thinking of just walking up to her when she's alone and saying something like "Hey... I know you don't know me and I don't really know you but I'd like to change that. I think you're swell. Want to get coffee some time?" Good? Bad?
Author card Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Still haven't done anything because I'm kind of a coward. Shaboom.
amaysngrace Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Just start with saying hi and smiling at her for a few days. See how she reacts to that and use that as your gauge on how to proceed. 3
Author card Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 I could try just a small smile if I happen to walk by her. Are you sure saying hi wouldn't be a little weird?
amaysngrace Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 You don't have to say hi but you have to say something that doesn't make you seem weird. What's up? Hello. Hi whatever her name is. But yea, say something. Just not "hi I barely know you but let's go get coffee" because that is weird. And smile big, not small. 2
Author card Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Oh, well okay. I guess I'll try that out. Thanks! But... What's the next step? Talk to her on Facebook or something? She's in jazz choir so if some event with that happens I could just kind of ask her about how it went.
Strength in Healing Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I'll tell you the best way to do it. 1. HAVE CONFIDENCE. If you don't have 1, you probably will not succeed. Be confident in yourself. Tell yourself you have a lot to offer. Think of the things you love, and how she would be lucky to share some of those with you. Now, once you have confidence, you go up to her, and say "Hi, I'm here to flirt with you" while smiling. (This is fun and silly). I personally, from that point on, would say "sooo.. I was definitely thinking we could do something fun this weekend." If she responds "Like what??" You smile and ask "Well, first off I have to know what you find fun of course!" Then have a conversation. I would move it towards coffee or dinner, then a movie. 2
Author card Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Well, that's a much more forward approach than just saying hi every now and again. I like both, so maybe I'll combine them. Thanks!
Cpt Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 What kind of stuff does she post? Maybe I can help you work a more personal approach tailored to her style and your game. Tell me more clearly about what kind of interactions you've had so far. 1
Author card Posted April 25, 2014 Author Posted April 25, 2014 What kind of stuff does she post? Maybe I can help you work a more personal approach tailored to her style and your game. Tell me more clearly about what kind of interactions you've had so far. It's a little hard to describe. She mostly posts photos of things she's been doing, like amateur cooking or just the outdoors. As with most people, a few selfies. Most of her photos are taken by others, though. She sometimes says some kind of humorous thing about life or whatever, like "the true beginning of spring is when you wake up with freckles". Nothing too personal and almost nothing opinionated. Modest. Uh, anyway, encounters... Like I said, almost nothing. Zero actual conversations. The other day I was walking through a doorway in school and bumped into her; we did the trying-to-move-out-of-the-way dance and we both quietly said "sorry" and smiled. That's literally it. If you can get anything out of this, I'd be really thankful.
tekkenfan2 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Everyone does that, unless she was blushing or something it means nothin. You HAVE to talk to her, you don't have to be super flirty, but talking to her will be the only way you can see how she feels about you. Say something on topic and turn it into a conversation. 1
todreaminblue Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 is swell back in now..... cool...;0) what another poster said about smiling big if a girl smiles back thats a good sign.....gauge what yu should do by how you feel if you dont feel confident dont say anything....she will remember your smile ifs its warm and open and maybe next time you will feel more confident to approach.......forcing yourself to d something when you are shy doesnt normally turn out good....and you nevr know after smiling at her she might approach you next time.......best wishes....deb 1
Author card Posted April 25, 2014 Author Posted April 25, 2014 Okay, I'll try saying hi with a smile. As for next time I see her... It should be Monday. 1
chados Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 (edited) I think it's good to approach someone like the above poster said with confidence. Be funny and a little cocky but not in a way that you come out as an idiot. I would think that the bumping in to each other would be good as an approach. Say something like. So here's the girl that made me miss my class yesterday. Say it with a smile. Remember to keep that smile on. Don't think of her as a girl. Just a friend. Then just ask her about school or something else. If she doesn't seem interested at all. Then just tell her. I thought you were one of the fun ones. And say it with a smile then walk away. Another approach would be the same but instead of continuing to talk you just smile and walk away instead of talking. This is a more slow approach but then it could be easier to continue the next day or week. Or maybe she talks to you first this time. And as always. Keep us updated and good luck. And by the way. The Facebook thing. Forget about Facebook. Facebook doesn't exist. Girls wants a man not a boy. No offense I've done the same with other messenger back in the days. Edited April 25, 2014 by chados 1
Author card Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 That's a pretty forward approach. I think it would be in my best interest to just try the smile+greeting thing for a little bit and then maybe I'll move into your tactic. Thank you very much, though.
chados Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Not gonna say which line work best on every girl cause I don't know. What I do know is that if you're planning on walking up to her and talk like you know her it will be weird. Instead use something that doesn't seem like you're up there hitting on her. A funny thing that happened in class if you two are in the same class for example. Then the conversation might develope from there, just trust me on this.
Author card Posted April 30, 2014 Author Posted April 30, 2014 Unfortunately I have nothing to really talk to her about, but something very good happened! She posted her ask.fm (a program that let's you ask anonymous questions) site and I decided to take the opportunity to get to know a little more about her. I said some stuff and very quickly she told me that I seem nice and intelligent, and told me to message her. Lucky me!
chados Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 So how does that work? She doesn't know who you are yet? We'll before you text her that is.
Author card Posted April 30, 2014 Author Posted April 30, 2014 So how does that work? She doesn't know who you are yet? We'll before you text her that is. On the site I asked the questions on it's completely anonymous, but she seemed to be able to gather that I'm "nice and intelligent" from what I asked so that's good. Anyway, we talked a little last night (at this point she knew who I am) and things went pretty smoothly! Nothing really flirty unfortunately, but it was a good conversation. Just the usual "what's up?" scenario, some jokes here and there. We get along pretty well! I tried greeting her as I walked past her but I think she was preoccupied. Tomorrow, I guess.
Author card Posted April 30, 2014 Author Posted April 30, 2014 Well, last night I ended the conversation because it felt like it was drying up and I didn't want to keep bothering her in case she didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't think that she felt this way but you know...just in case. I said Well... I'm kind of exhausted so I think I'll go black out now. it was really nice talking to you and I think you're swell! [yes, I actually did call her swell... Not sure why now that I'm looking back on it]" And she followed up with a simple "You too, night!" Should I try messaging her again in a couple days? I get that it's much preferred to actually talk to her in person but I don't really have that opportunity yet.
chados Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Calm down a little. You're pushing it to much. You're conversation should end after saying. It was nice talking to you. She doesn't know you meaning she doesn't know if she likes you back yet. I even think that simply say good night would be better. You're making her choose if she wants you. Yes that's sounds pretty sick. Of course she has to choose. But what I mean is you have to choose too. You don't know her either. Let her build up interest too. Make her feel that you're a catch and Not the fisherman:)
Author card Posted April 30, 2014 Author Posted April 30, 2014 Calm down a little. You're pushing it to much. You're conversation should end after saying. It was nice talking to you. She doesn't know you meaning she doesn't know if she likes you back yet. I even think that simply say good night would be better. You're making her choose if she wants you. Yes that's sounds pretty sick. Of course she has to choose. But what I mean is you have to choose too. You don't know her either. Let her build up interest too. Make her feel that you're a catch and Not the fisherman:) That's a very good point. I don't want to try too hard or I'll come off as desperate. I guess I'll just play it cool for now.
Author card Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 I'm a little concerned. I've passed her in the halls a few times recentt and every time I try to casually say "hey" or even just smile she's just looking straight ahead. I'm wondering if maybe she's out of my league. I don't think so, but I'm not really good at gagueing that.
chados Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 There's no such thing as out of ones league. People need to make different approaches depending on the girl. But ignoring you is a bad sign. I think you should give up. A person that won't say hi to someone else is just a very unpleasant person to be around. That's my two cents. I think you should live your life. You're young and got all the time in the world being in a relationship. Sure go and date girls but don't get to focused on one that doesn't even say hi. Leave the door open if she ever decides to talk. But don't rush things. Ask people out and have fun. Go on a dating site maybe?
Recommended Posts