clewless Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 (edited) I have been dating someone for about 6-8 months now and her 'ex' boyfriend is visiting for 2 weeks and she has basically moved in with and sleeping with him in his hotel... I knew he was coming, and that she would see him, but I didn't think she would spend this much time, and basically have sex with him I think... I should explain it's a little complicated (as life always is) and that when we met she was still in a relationship with him - they each worked in different countries and would meet 2-3 times a year somewhere for holidays together We fell in love and I told her to tell him and she says she did, but I have a feeling that she hasn't told him that we slept together, but she said she is ending their relationship now so they can stay friends My problem is that she is basically sleeping with him (I know she is staying at his hotel with him because she hasn't been home for a week) and now I also doubt she has told him about us (or else he probably wouldn't want her sleeping in his room, unless of course, he wants his last kicks and revenge) but also I think she should never have slept with him again and even though I know when we met she was still in a relationship, I feel like I am the one losing out here... she says she loves me and misses me (and came by my house the other day unannounced when I wasn't home to see me) but I feel like her actions are saying something much different (and worse for me if she has truly never told him about us, and is still sleeping with him) Anyway, any thoughts or perspective would be appreciated... I don't think I want to sleep with her again, despite it being the most amazingly great relationship I've ever had in my life up until now... Thanks Edited April 11, 2014 by clewless typo
ExpatInItaly Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 What in the fresh hell did I just read? I don't think she ever really ended her relationship with this other guy. In fact, to be honest, it sounds like you are in fact the "other guy" in this scenario..though she may have painted a very different picture to you. They aren't just friends. You have doubts she ever told him about you. And now she's staying at his hotel? No, she doesn't love you. She's having her cake and eating it too, though. I'd be done with that. 4
Phantom888 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 This makes no sense at all. How can a man put up with his girlfriend sleeping in the same room with an ex? I mean, this doesn't even sound real... unless she is not really your girlfriend and you are imagining all this. 1
RonaldS Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Guy....whoa. Time to walk away from this one. She clearly has no respect for you, her 'ex' (read: current) boyfriend, or probably even herself. This is a no-brainer. 1
thecrucible Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I don't think I want to sleep with her again, despite it being the most amazingly great relationship I've ever had in my life up until now... You can do better. Sounds like you know the answer. Just break up with her and go no contact. 1
Tayken Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Guy....whoa. Time to walk away from this one. She clearly has no respect for you, her 'ex' (read: current) boyfriend, or probably even herself. This is a no-brainer. There goes that mutual respect am always harping on about.....if this does not exist in a relationship, the days are numbered for breakup. Love is not going to conquer all....contrary to popular belief. This crap described by the OP unfortunately happens more than you think. I personally think women take part in this act more than men do i.e. staying friends with their ex and visiting each other only to get carried away and rekindle I recently dumped a FWB that had a "friend" come over and stay for a week.
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 How do these women succeed at manipulating men like this!! I want their secret!! OP wake up! She is laughing at you in your face. What she is doing is...disgusting, sorry I have no other words for it. 1
Charlie Harper Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Id would call her and tell him to get screened for clamidya..... that would make things really even.... On a side note: you are being played like a cheap piano. 1
organizedchaos Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I have been dating someone for about 6-8 months now and her 'ex' boyfriend is visiting for 2 weeks and she has basically moved in with and sleeping with him in his hotel... I knew he was coming, and that she would see him, but I didn't think she would spend this much time, and basically have sex with him I think... I should explain it's a little complicated (as life always is) and that when we met she was still in a relationship with him - they each worked in different countries and would meet 2-3 times a year somewhere for holidays together We fell in love and I told her to tell him and she says she did, but I have a feeling that she hasn't told him that we slept together, but she said she is ending their relationship now so they can stay friends My problem is that she is basically sleeping with him (I know she is staying at his hotel with him because she hasn't been home for a week) and now I also doubt she has told him about us (or else he probably wouldn't want her sleeping in his room, unless of course, he wants his last kicks and revenge) but also I think she should never have slept with him again and even though I know when we met she was still in a relationship, I feel like I am the one losing out here... she says she loves me and misses me (and came by my house the other day unannounced when I wasn't home to see me) but I feel like her actions are saying something much different (and worse for me if she has truly never told him about us, and is still sleeping with him) Anyway, any thoughts or perspective would be appreciated... I don't think I want to sleep with her again, despite it being the most amazingly great relationship I've ever had in my life up until now... Thanks Please hand in your man card. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. 2
cif Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 This is not complicated. You're the other man. I wouldn't even respond to her contact again. 1
ascendotum Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 This is not complicated. You're the other man. I wouldn't even respond to her contact again. Yep. As I read the OP, this story kind of got flipped. He thinks he's her bf, but he is in reality the other man. She's stooging both guys. She doesn't want to hurt anyone so she keeps her dirty little secret, until overseas (never ex) bf shows up in town, and she has to spend all her time with him to keep the charade going...that will includes giving him welcome home sex. Someone at least now gets the truth. OP - An afternoon visit fine, but 2 weeks away...like ****. Don't you dare welcome her back. 1
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