Monm82 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I think in most relationships it's mixed. How do you feel about relationships where the woman acts much more like the man, though? Personally, as a guy, I would love to be in a relationship like that.
Juventa2012 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 As a woman, I like the man to be the aggressor. I guess I'm more into "manly men" that like to take the lead and then I just follow. I'm not the submissive type by any means, but I just like feeling that sense of femininity. I've seen relationships where the woman is the aggressor and in that kind of relationship dynamic, in my opinion, emasculates a man. I've even seen it to the point where the man is basically treated like a child. But different strokes for different folks I guess.... 3
Targetlock Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 i would like a woman in charge, i find it strangely attractive as a rather shy, reserved fellow i like the attraction of a go-getting, energetic, sparky woman in my life to get me going but sadly nobody wants to have a go, not yet anyway!
Craft81 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I'd be up for this -- I grow tired of CONSTANTLY making plans or deciding what to do all the time -- because then I feel as if she's just going along with it because she feels as if she as to.
janedoe67 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I think whatever works for the 2 people in the relationship is great. Being on the same page is what counts. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I don't understand? In what "act like the man"? Be decisive...Take charge when the need arises...Be the "heavy" without being a dick....Be the one the family can count on when the chips are down.....and don't allow yourself to be browbeaten by an overbearing woman that has your balls on her nightstand... Its as simple as that... TFY 2
skydiveaddict Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 How do you feel about relationships where the woman acts much more like the man, though? I would feel terribly embarrassed. Personally, as a guy, I would love to be in a relationship like that. Dude there is something seriously wrong with you. 2
denise_xo Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I think in most relationships it's mixed. How do you feel about relationships where the woman acts much more like the man, though? Personally, as a guy, I would love to be in a relationship like that. I do a lot of that "male" stuff in our relationship. Where I live, that's not so uncommon. Gender relations are much more flexible than e.g. in the US. Gives more space for everyone's personal preferences, IMO.
skydiveaddict Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I do a lot of that "male" stuff in our relationship. . Seriously? If for instance you're out on a date with your "man" and some other guy insults you, you would be fine with your boyfriend hiding behind you?
SolG Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Seriously? If for instance you're out on a date with your "man" and some other guy insults you, you would be fine with your boyfriend hiding behind you? Not 'hiding'... but I'd expect him to show me the respect of letting me handle it myself. I'm am an adult, not some quivering little infant who can't deal with something as benign as an insult :-/ 2
Author Monm82 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 As a woman, I like the man to be the aggressor. I guess I'm more into "manly men" that like to take the lead and then I just follow. I'm not the submissive type by any means, but I just like feeling that sense of femininity. I've seen relationships where the woman is the aggressor and in that kind of relationship dynamic, in my opinion, emasculates a man. I've even seen it to the point where the man is basically treated like a child. But different strokes for different folks I guess.... I don't think it's emasulating at all. Different people, different opinions, though.
Author Monm82 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 I would feel terribly embarrassed. Dude there is something seriously wrong with you. I would still be acting like a guy, but she would much more be the leader. It's especially attractive if she's very feminine otherwise.
denise_xo Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 (edited) Seriously? If for instance you're out on a date with your "man" and some other guy insults you, you would be fine with your boyfriend hiding behind you? None of us hides behind each other. But if a man insults me, I deal with him myself and don't wait for my husband or anyone else to do that on my behalf. More generally, though, I don't understand why men are expected to be stronger than women in all situations. The "boys don't cry" line is just a made up fiction. In some areas, my husband is stronger than I am. In others, I am stronger than him. Pretty normal, if you think about it. We're all different and have different strengths and weaknesses. A relationship will generally work better if you can work with both partners' real capacities, rather than some straightjacket that society has decided is the 'correct' way to think about gender. Edited April 12, 2014 by denise_xo 6
ThaWholigan Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Its not my thing - I am accommodating but not submissive. However, I've seen examples of the woman being the more masculine presence in the relationship than the man (in various factors but not all) and it works somehow. In my opinion, I don't expect every woman or every man to fit into the same traditional box nor would I criticize those who don't. 1
denise_xo Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 It's kind of interesting that the expectations communicated about women here is that they can't stand up for herself, are submissive, and mainly follow the man's initiative and suggestions. I don't want to live my life like that, and would never be in a relationship where that's the role I'm supposed to assume. 3
dragon_fly_7 Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 It's kind of interesting that the expectations communicated about women here is that they can't stand up for herself, are submissive, and mainly follow the man's initiative and suggestions. I don't want to live my life like that, and would never be in a relationship where that's the role I'm supposed to assume.Don't think anyone likes one-sided relationships. There should be a balance and it shouldn't feel as if someone is trying to compete the whole time and being in control. There are some things I'm sure I would be better suited for and other things my potential bf is better at.
SolG Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 In some areas, my husband is stronger than I am. In others, I am stronger than him. Pretty normal, if you think about it. We're all different and have different strengths and weaknesses. A relationship will generally work better if you can work with both partners' real capacities, rather than some straightjacket that society has decided is the 'correct' way to think about gender. This is how real, healthy relationships work; it's a partnership. 5
Vyliss Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I prefer the man to be the masculine one when we're outside, but at home, I'd like him to listen to me hehe.
Shepp Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I like an equal! Submissive women aren't my thing, I like a girl who can give as good as she gets and match me - then we can move mountains together! 7
M30USA Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Be decisive...Take charge when the need arises...Be the "heavy" without being a dick....Be the one the family can count on when the chips are down.....and don't allow yourself to be browbeaten by an overbearing woman that has your balls on her nightstand... Its as simple as that... TFY There are some women who won't LET you be a man. My ex-wife was one of them. Her own father told me that I would never win an argument with her and that I should just give her what she wants because that's the only way there will be peace in the marriage. I can tell you that some women have predetermined in their minds that you will be the loser every time and they will shout, swing and rage until you submit. They will literally fight to the grave, if necessary, to get their way. In these cases, the only way you can be a "man" is to get out of the relationship. If anyone on here has not experienced such a woman, you have been spared. No amount of mainliness or taking charge can solve it. It took me 5 years to figure this out.
Grumpybutfun Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I definitely am the man and have no intention of trying to act more feminine because that seems to be more acceptable now. I am traditional and enjoy being the protector and aggressor because that is naturally who I am. Does that mean I don't think my wife is capable of taking care of herself? Of course not, but it fulfills a biological need in me to pursue and protect. My wife is capable of anything. And her abilities are amazing, but it is the traits I don't share as much that I like the most about her....nurturing, caregiving, compassion, exuberance, joyful enthusiasm about life, making our house a home or worrying about the small details. Female attributes get shunned to the side as not as important because they don't fill a financial niche in most lives, however, that is a huge mistake because these are the things that makes communities and families and they are much more important than making cash flow. She has abilities that I could only guess at the machinations of and she can take care of the world without even stopping for a breath. She is capable and yet feminine and I find femininity very captivating since it seems to be something women don't really aspire to anymore. I obviously find both to be a balance and equality as important since I value feminine attributes as much as masculine ones. We aren't concerned with ideologies or political correctness, but with being who we authentically are. I don't have to act like I'm filled with feminine traits and she doesn't have to act like she is a man...think that is best for us, but people should be who they are in relationships without worrying about what other people think. Balance is key, Grumps 4
M30USA Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 That's fair. But it sounds like you have a reasonable wife. I'll never forget the time when me and ex-wife got in an argument over some trivial matter and she literally pointed at the ground and told me to get on one knee and apologize to her for treating her that way (as she was pushing and shoving me around). I kid you not. I'm not even embellishing this story one bit.
Emilia Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 It's a balance. The closest I've come to an ideal was with someone that grew up in a patriarchal society but wanted a woman who was quite assertive. He was very masculine, not someone you would call submissive that's for sure. However, he wanted someone that could deal with his overbearing side and he could be surprisingly reasonable - he had an argumentative reputation - when I didn't just roll over. I can see how that would be exhausting to most people/women but I enjoyed it, we enjoyed conflict I think because it rarely got emotional. We got on very well and had a lot of mutual respect. Shame he couldn't stay in the UK. 3
gaius Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 The actual reality of having a woman pursue you is a lot less sexy than imagining it.
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