Sjdunn1990 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I was with my ex for 8 years. It ended badly. He left me for another girl that he had been cheating on me with for 4 months and got pregnant. He is still with her. We broke up a couple of months ago. I don't think of him as much now. When I first broke up I went into panic drive as I had no idea how to meet new people or anything, the whole thing terrified me, especially the sex part. I joined up to online dating and got chatting with a guy. I've met up with him over the last few weeks and enjoy his company. We have similar interests, a lot of flirting and banter. We have had sex and do every time we see each other. I'm just confused and not sure how I feel about him or anything. He knows my history, intact we have told each other everything. We are very comfortable with each other. Personality wise we are suited - I'm just not sure if I'm attracted to him. The more I see him the more I get confused. How can I make sense of my feelings?
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I was with my ex for 8 years. It ended badly. He left me for another girl that he had been cheating on me with for 4 months and got pregnant. He is still with her. We broke up a couple of months ago. I don't think of him as much now. When I first broke up I went into panic drive as I had no idea how to meet new people or anything, the whole thing terrified me, especially the sex part. I joined up to online dating and got chatting with a guy. I've met up with him over the last few weeks and enjoy his company. We have similar interests, a lot of flirting and banter. We have had sex and do every time we see each other. I'm just confused and not sure how I feel about him or anything. He knows my history, intact we have told each other everything. We are very comfortable with each other. Personality wise we are suited - I'm just not sure if I'm attracted to him. The more I see him the more I get confused. How can I make sense of my feelings? 2 months isn't much of a recovery period after 8 years! I would imagine your relationship with your ex had been deteriorating for quite a while before the breaking point though. Well, can you elaborate on not feeling attracted to this new guy? What do you like about him? What do you not like or see as lacking? Because it's usually not a good sign, especially early on.
ThatGirl213 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Don't overthink about it. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy the moment and the time you two chat and spend together. You need that more than a relationship right now.
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Who says you are suppose to know how you feel about someone after 2 months? Even people that have been single for a long time would not know how they feel for someone after only 2 months. If he is aware of your situation then he knows he is at risk of being a rebound. He accepts that by continuing seeing you. Just enjoy the moment.
Author Sjdunn1990 Posted April 11, 2014 Author Posted April 11, 2014 Just to add confusion to it, I txt him and said I was worried things were moving quickly and didn't want a relationship yet. He is now really off with me and has decided he can't see me for a week or to. Now I feel rly upset and miss him and wanna see him now :/ I'm so confused!
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Just to add confusion to it, I txt him and said I was worried things were moving quickly and didn't want a relationship yet. He is now really off with me and has decided he can't see me for a week or to. Now I feel rly upset and miss him and wanna see him now :/ I'm so confused! To be fair to him you should probably let him go. You don't know what you want. 1
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Just to add confusion to it, I txt him and said I was worried things were moving quickly and didn't want a relationship yet. He is now really off with me and has decided he can't see me for a week or to. Now I feel rly upset and miss him and wanna see him now :/ I'm so confused! I think you need to spend some time on your own and concentrate on yourself. Using people as emotional band-aid is cruel. Obviously this man did not listen when you told him you were just out of a relationship and he got his hopes up. I don't know what you put on your online profile but I think you should just limit it to casual dating not ready for serious relationship, and you make it REALLY clear you just wanna date and have fun, nothing else.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I dated my ex for nearly as long as you. While my relationship ended peacefully, I needed far longer than two months before feeling really ready to date again. Needless to say, everyone is different and some heal faster than others. But given your state of confusion, I'd advise you to stay single for a while. Figure out who you are again, get used to the idea of being on your own. It isn't about residual feelings for an ex; it's about finding your identity again as a single unit. It's very cliche, but quite true, in my experience.
slizl Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I don't think it is a rebound, you are being way too rational. My rebounds tend to be crazy intense for a few weeks, then fizzle out as quick as they heated up. I also always convince myself that it isn't a rebound during the moment, but after the fact, I always am like, what the hell was I thinking?
Recommended Posts