Feel like my boyfriend cares abt his friends more, am I reading into it too much?

[misskaty13]

He goes to bar/club on most fri w/ his friends. when I drink, most of the time is with him by ourselves. I haven't gone clubbing since dating, I sometimes miss the music and dancing. I once suggested my bf to go tgt. He said drinks are expensive there, it doesn't make sense of just us going, he doesn't dance. He goes clubbing with his friends, so I ask what he does during clubbing, he said to drink. I'm like "but you said drinks are expensive there, why not a bar" He said "you think I am dancing with girls at clubs? Why are you dating me then" I said I know he doesn't dance and I trust him. He said "there're more than getting drunk to music, people go there fck other people. I'm there to support my friends". I never really asked him again.

 

The weekend before his bday, I ask if he wants to do sth on sat since he wanted to on friday but I was busy. He said not sure (with the same answer when I asked on friday). At night, I chilled with my friend, shared a bottle but she had to leave early so I texted him asking if he wanted to share a bottle together. He made fun of me being wasted (when I was not) Later, he drunk call me at 4 something to meet him. next day, he said they went out celebrating his bday. He used to invite me along when I asked if he wanted to meet up and that he and his friends planned to drink that night. And I wasnt invited to his birthday celebrations....We did on his birthday, more like I celebrated for him, I asked him what he wanted and he didnt care about birthday.

 

When he has a bad day and asks me to go to a bar with him. I'd go. One time I had a bad week and suggest going for a drink together after work. He didn't reply directly but instead asked me if I would like to go to the tailor, go to the apple store and stuff with him. I went with him and after dinner we went to the bar next to his place, but it's full. He decided to go back home but I was like "I thought we are n we can go to xxx (which is 15 mins walk)". He looked a bit annoyed and grabbed a cab. After we got in I said we could have just walked to save money. He said "well we'd be saving money if we are not going to a bar" sounding a bit annoyed. When we got there, he got message from his friends asking him to come out to drink. He's like "what? I asked them in the morning, they all said no." He was quiet, but light up when saw a friend. I later asked why he'd get drunk with his friend but not me.

 

Most of the time during weekend/friday, he asked me to hang out very last minute that it feels like as if it's because his friend won't go out w him.

 

if he asks me to go somewhere or do sth with him, I would, even I may not really like the place we going, I am doing it because I love him and know it'd make him happy. He say thanks but if I want similar things back, he would give me an attitude

 

Am I reading into things too much?

[soccerrprp]

No, you're not reading too much into things. He's changed or changing. He's become defensive, more selfish, and looks like distancing himself. I'd be worried about his drinking though. And yours? You two must be young. You sound young.

[Andy_K]

Sounds like he doesn't really like you that much.

[starrynightz45]

Fact: Guys go to clubs to dance with/talk to girls. That's it. If they just want to drink, they go to bars or drink at home.

 

If he's just going to the club with his friends to "support" them, then he should be more than willing to take you if you really want to go. If he doesn't it's because he doesn't want to.

 

He has no problem paying for drinks when he's with his friends, so why is it all of a sudden such a big deal when you're going with him?

 

He sounds rude, inconsiderate, and like he's totally focused on his friends, and you're accepting it. You deserve better.

[atlg8r]

Yes, he's more into his friends than you. Frankly, I'm not seeing what you actually get positive out of this "relationship." Does he ever take you out to do things, even cheap/free things like walk in a park or something?

[d0nnivain]

I agree that this doesn't add up to a happy healthy relationship.

 

Going to a club every weekend with the boys but never taking you is a problem. Asking you out last minute but always making advanced plans with them & using you as a back up, is a problem.

 

If you don't want to break up with him outright, ask him to make you more of a priority. If he doesn't you won't have another choice unless you like being a second class citizen in your own relationship.