Koans Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 So my exgirlfriend said she needed space and wasnt moving on. Just needed time to think. A week later she rebounds. No lesson learned for her. Her birthday is on april 21st. Shes been kinda flip floppy emotionally. Like she's confused. Shes dating this guy while having our picture framed up by her bed still. She'll say mix signal things like, "sometimes i think of us getting back together but dont get your hopes up", and, "Im not telling you to TOTALLY move on but if it hurts to talk to me, try to move on". I honestly don't know why we broke up. Im only drawing assumptions. We were in a 3yr LDR. For a month she tried to use me as a safety net. I hit my breaking point while trying to make sense of the break up. I proposed for her to think about moving this way. She hit me with, "dont wait for me". Ever since then, all this happened. Initially she said it was coz I didnt say "I love Us, I miss U's" enough and that I always pushed her away...HOW? I invited u to come this way you crazy gurl. Anyways I decided not to say happy bday to her. I know she still cares and with her, "i fell out of love" emotional state she still at least loves me like a brother lmao. Do you think ignoring a dumpers bday in this context will bruise her ego. I did say bye bye to her as a closure for myself. I just want her to come to her senses. But with this rebound. It has to now take its course. I know she didnt cheat. She said she knows of him but didnt link up till the 3rd day after the break up. What do you think a dumper feels when she doesn't receive any bday greets from the dumpee on her bday. Mad? Sad? Indifferent? Realize the loss is real? Make her question her actions since she irrationally jumped into a new one and is rushing it?. Appreciate the feed back.
MidwestUSA Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 You're worried about bruising the ego of a woman who is dating someone else while still having a pic of you and her next to her bed? Did I read that right? Are you hoping ignoring her birthday will knock her to her senses? You could send her a card that you'd send your brother, since she loves you like one. 3
David87 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Yeah youre right she didn't cheat because you're not her boyfriend anymore. She won't care if you don't send her that text or maybe she will but it doesn't matter because this relationship is over. Stop hoping for a miracle. 2
Ordinaryday Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 sorry to be blunt, but I really doubt it. they are probably more relieved than anything, cos if you send them anything, regardless of your intentions, what they will think is something like "oh yuck, they are still obsessed about me, cant they just leave me alone???". whether or not that is true, it is what they will think! sorry, but dumpers just dont care. if they cared they would STILL BE WITH YOU. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 I'm actually going to disgaree here. I think this dumper will feel bad if her EX doesn't send birthday greetings. I say this her behavior indicates that she is immature & spoiled. She doesn't know what she wants but she wants it all -- her EX & the new BF. She wants to do whatever she wants with no regard to anyone else's feelings & yes this type of self centered child will be upset if she doesn't get birthday greetings from her EX. All of that is exactly why he should not reach out. She needs to know that he is moving on & is not pining away for her. 1
Chi townD Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Remember, she dumped you and immediate jumped in the arms of someone else. You are nothing to her now. You aren't her boyfriend, lover or friend. You have no title with her anymore. So, you send nothing. Doesn't make you the bad guy or an asshat. Remember, she made the choice to have you out of her live. Therefore, you're giving her exactly what she's asking for. 1
ponchsox Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Who gives a **** what she thinks? She doesn't deserve it! 2
sooshi Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Nope. Like Chi said, she chose to have you out of her life, so by saying nothing, you're doing as she wants. I didn't say anything to my ex-fiance on his birthday. He cut me out of his life and I didn't think it was appropriate to say anything.
Trovador Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 Some times (more often of what I'd like to admit...) I was a dumper... I hated when they didn't understand the message... I sort of respected those who stood tall and respected themselves, meaning they erased me from their lives and erased themselves from mine... Maybe because of that I was so into NC when dumped... yes, it happened a few times (more often of what I'd like to admit)... She will hate you, Koans... no, she will despise you...
hoping2heal Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 So my exgirlfriend said she needed space and wasnt moving on. Just needed time to think. A week later she rebounds. No lesson learned for her. Her birthday is on april 21st. Shes been kinda flip floppy emotionally. Like she's confused. Shes dating this guy while having our picture framed up by her bed still. She'll say mix signal things like, "sometimes i think of us getting back together but dont get your hopes up", and, "Im not telling you to TOTALLY move on but if it hurts to talk to me, try to move on". I honestly don't know why we broke up. Im only drawing assumptions. We were in a 3yr LDR. For a month she tried to use me as a safety net. I hit my breaking point while trying to make sense of the break up. I proposed for her to think about moving this way. She hit me with, "dont wait for me". Ever since then, all this happened. Initially she said it was coz I didnt say "I love Us, I miss U's" enough and that I always pushed her away...HOW? I invited u to come this way you crazy gurl. Anyways I decided not to say happy bday to her. I know she still cares and with her, "i fell out of love" emotional state she still at least loves me like a brother lmao. Do you think ignoring a dumpers bday in this context will bruise her ego. I did say bye bye to her as a closure for myself. I just want her to come to her senses. But with this rebound. It has to now take its course. I know she didnt cheat. She said she knows of him but didnt link up till the 3rd day after the break up. What do you think a dumper feels when she doesn't receive any bday greets from the dumpee on her bday. Mad? Sad? Indifferent? Realize the loss is real? Make her question her actions since she irrationally jumped into a new one and is rushing it?. Appreciate the feed back. I can't imagine thinking I should be entitled to birthday greets from someone I dumped. "I'm not telling you to TOTALLY move on.." my selfish alarm went off blaring. It is not your job / duty / lot in life ..however you want to word it, to simply wait around to see if it suddenly becomes convenient for her to have you there. When she chose to dump you, she chose to lose a relationship with you. You have every right to move forward and heal, not sit around waiting to see if she needs an emotional pillow here and there.
Sugarkane Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I think some will. They expect you to beg and keep contacting them to change their minds. And not go complete NC. It's all about their huge ego.
Author Koans Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 You are very good at reading people. You should see her older brother. Hella spoiled!. I was only down for her coz she didn't show any blatant spoiled indications but of course this is coming from the same mother. Good insight.
Author Koans Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 (edited) If she hates me for it. The more the merrier. I owe nothing to this serial rebounding confused ass biiaaatch. All I told myself was, if she gets dumped, its over. Like no existence over. Their will be no 10 20 30 yrs down the road reconciliation. I aint having her running back to me as me being the rebound. Edited April 12, 2014 by Koans
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