Should i move or not?

[Sadaka]

I probably already know the answer to this, but here goes.

 

Me and my ex girlfriend were togheter for about 3.5 years, we "dated" for about 4 years. She broke it off about 1.5 years ago because she lost her feelings for me. We continued to see eachother a little a few months after, in april i went no contact, however i contacted her both in july and october because i couldnt hold it. Both times she werent very talkative.

 

In december i decided to send her a letter where i apologized for how i acted in the end of our relationship, i had jealousy issues, neediness and everything you could do wrong probably. I also asked if she wanted to meet up for a coffee or something. She replied and said she felt like she moved on and that she didnt think it was a good idea we had any contact, she also told me she had met a new guy.

 

So i wished them good luck and havent talked to her since. Had one or two quick run-ins with her on town, but it always felt stale and weird, big elephant in the room.

 

Anyway. Im about to graduate from uni now and its a strong possibility i will be getting a job about 2 hours away from here. I still really like this girl and feel like there could be a second chance(clinging to hope here). Our first two years were really intense and it was the first serious relationship for both of us. We're both 26.

 

If i ever want to see her again, is it a good idea to move away?

[ichasemylife]

I probably already know the answer to this, but here goes.

 

Me and my ex girlfriend were togheter for about 3.5 years, we "dated" for about 4 years. She broke it off about 1.5 years ago because she lost her feelings for me. We continued to see eachother a little a few months after, in april i went no contact, however i contacted her both in july and october because i couldnt hold it. Both times she werent very talkative.

 

In december i decided to send her a letter where i apologized for how i acted in the end of our relationship, i had jealousy issues, neediness and everything you could do wrong probably. I also asked if she wanted to meet up for a coffee or something. She replied and said she felt like she moved on and that she didnt think it was a good idea we had any contact, she also told me she had met a new guy.

 

So i wished them good luck and havent talked to her since. Had one or two quick run-ins with her on town, but it always felt stale and weird, big elephant in the room.

 

Anyway. Im about to graduate from uni now and its a strong possibility i will be getting a job about 2 hours away from here. I still really like this girl and feel like there could be a second chance(clinging to hope here). Our first two years were really intense and it was the first serious relationship for both of us. We're both 26.

 

If i ever want to see her again, is it a good idea to move away?

 

You'll end up right back to square one and have to start all over. Trust me, while you are on NC with them and they are with someone else, you don't want to know how they are doing. You don't want to hear how happy they are. If you're nursing a shattered heart, you can't handle what they have to say. Why rip out the stitches, and tear the wound open again?

if you pass razor wire up one nostril and down the other, while poking your eyes out with needles - it will hurt only marginally less than talking to them, and getting nothing from them but pain.

Clinging on to them or clinging to the hope you'll get them back will only keep you down longer. Additionally, the natural reaction of any ex when you cling on to them is for them to literally spring in the other direction. If you do have any chance of reconciliation, your best bet is to leave them alone and forget about them.

Realize and move on ..

[redbaron005]

If you get a job offer out there, and that is where you want to be, move.

 

After 1.5 years, I recommend a bit of therapy as well if you haven't already, it does help.