Thomas the Red Fox Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 (edited) Well, I, like most, felt my situation was unique. I, like most, thought I could do things differently. I, like most, thought I could just say the right thing -- do the right thing. I, like 99% of people who broke NC, realized it was a mistake afterwards. She told me about two weeks after we broke up (our relationship was almost 4 years), she started dating a somewhat mutual friend. Then she moved in with him a week later. I am good with words, and I know how physically attractive she finds me, so I figured I could use that. I figured I could use mind games. Manipulation. ANYTHING IT TOOK. I found out this is fail all around. Fail, fail... fail and fail. Then some more fail. I got her to admit she misses me, doesn't feel half the same kissing him as she did me, she still thinks of me, doesn't see a future with him, still sees us together. She of her own volition admitted I was far more attractive. (But looks don't matter all that much, clearly?) GET the hell outta here I thought. Then I told her to drop me off. I got out of the car, and didn't look back. Though i was sad because the guy she got with is abusive. He kicked down their door, punched and broke glass, and on a separate occasion (over me) got in her face. This was a while ago, but I wanted to share that it is futile. I do feel bad for her, though, because I know where their relationship will end. Very badly. I warned her with every psychological technique humanly possible that she is in an unsafe situation, but I suppose only Jesus could make the blind see. You feel like breaking NC to try to win your ex back? Get the hell outta here with that. You're about to get a fistful of FAIL and information that you WEREN'T trying to hear. Edited April 11, 2014 by Thomas the Red Fox 2
Erlaad Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 (edited) Well, I, like most, felt my situation was unique. I, like most, thought I could do things differently. I, like most, thought I could just say the right thing -- do the right thing. I, like 99% of people who broke NC, realized it was a mistake afterwards. She told me about two weeks after we broke up (our relationship was almost 4 years), she started dating a somewhat mutual friend. Then she moved in with him a week later. I am good with words, and I know how physically attractive she finds me, so I figured I could use that. I figured I could use mind games. Manipulation. ANYTHING IT TOOK. I found out this is fail all around. Fail, fail... fail and fail. Then some more fail. I got her to admit she misses me, doesn't feel half the same kissing him as she did me, she still thinks of me, doesn't see a future with him, still sees us together. She of her own volition admitted I was far more attractive. (But looks don't matter all that much, clearly?) GET the hell outta here I thought. Then I told her to drop me off. I got out of the car, and didn't look back. Though i was sad because the guy she got with is abusive. He kicked down their door, punched and broke glass, and on a separate occasion (over me) got in her face. This was a while ago, but I wanted to share that it is futile. I do feel bad for her, though, because I know where their relationship will end. Very badly. I warned her with every psychological technique humanly possible that she is in an unsafe situation, but I suppose only Jesus could make the blind see. You feel like breaking NC to try to win your ex back? Get the hell outta here with that. You're about to get a fistful of FAIL and information that you WEREN'T trying to hear. Great post Thomas! I would add to this: do not break NC even if you know all the "strategies" or the "right ways" to do it. Stick to full NC at all times. My example: ex broke up with me 7 months ago, I went full NC after a week and stayed NC for 3 months. After those three months (i.e. on my birthday) I got a breadcrumb so clear you could wipe your own carglass with it. But Yours Truly was ready: I read all on how to react to breadcrumbs, how not to give informations, always end the conversation first, be polite but business like... Result? I ended up travelling more than 1500km to see her and her family, she treated me like a colourful spot in the wall and spent all the time I was there messaging with some guy friend of hers. I left on Christmas eve and blocked her (now I'm 4.5 months NC). The good things is, she tried again to breadcrumb by means of a message from her mother ("She has something she wants to write to you". Ridicolous.) but I have learned from my mistakes. TLDR: Stick to NC no matter what. They don't want you back and even if they do they don't deserve you anymore. Above and beyond. - Erl Edited April 11, 2014 by Erlaad
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