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Posted

I've read quite a few of you the whole "If s/he want's to be with you, they will let you know" (I'm the dumper)

 

Well yesterday I made a trip over to his house so we could talk about thing (US.)

 

I door and he answered, the VERY FIRST thing he said was "You have a some nerve showing up here"

 

I finally said that I regretted a lot and begged for his time to talk to me. He looked at me, shook his head, and shut the door.

 

I just went back to my car and went him.

 

Right now i'm crying so much, I don't know what to do.

Posted
I've read quite a few of you the whole "If s/he want's to be with you, they will let you know" (I'm the dumper)

 

Well yesterday I made a trip over to his house so we could talk about thing (US.)

 

I door and he answered, the VERY FIRST thing he said was "You have a some nerve showing up here"

 

I finally said that I regretted a lot and begged for his time to talk to me. He looked at me, shook his head, and shut the door.

 

I just went back to my car and went him.

 

Right now i'm crying so much, I don't know what to do.

 

It will be okay.

 

If you can, please please please get someone to pick you up or come drive you where you need to go. Do not drive shaken up.

  • Like 1
Posted

This is one of those life lessons.. a pretty sad one at that.

 

The very act of dumping can kill the dumpees feelings. Quite often when the breakup happens the dumpee is pretty tired of things also, and it can be the straw that broke the camels back.

 

I know with my ex, when he left, I was tired of everything, it was exhausting. Them leaving killed my feelings like nothing prior, it was like a sudden mental block where I wanted nothing more to do with it. Unfortunately, when he came back a few months later, I wasn't having any of it, and there was nothing that could reignite those feelings. All of the 'meaningful' things he said when he came back would have meant the world to me before we broke up, but after, they meant nothing to me.

 

This was after several years together, and me truly being madly in love with him- I didn't actively try to stop caring, it happened automatically.

 

It is important for people to remember that things are MUCH different after a breakup than before a breakup- to the point where it is not even worth comparing the two.

 

I am sorry for what you are going through op, I really hope it works out for the best-one way or another.

  • Like 4
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Posted
I am sorry for what you are going through op, I really hope it works out for the best-one way or another.

 

It's just so hard. No way am I saying that the pain I feel now can be compared to how he felt when I left him. We dated 2 years, and I left for someone else. How could be so stupid and selfish to look pass what was in front of me?

 

He was COLD when I saw him. The tone in his voice had so much HATE towards me. I've never heard him talk like that to anyone. He was the most kind person I've ever met and to hear and see him like that destroys me.

 

"You have some nerve showing up here"

 

That's all that I can hear in my head. I'm so broken :(

Posted (edited)
It's just so hard. No way am I saying that the pain I feel now can be compared to how he felt when I left him. We dated 2 years, and I left for someone else. How could be so stupid and selfish to look pass what was in front of me?

 

He was COLD when I saw him. The tone in his voice had so much HATE towards me. I've never heard him talk like that to anyone. He was the most kind person I've ever met and to hear and see him like that destroys me.

 

"You have some nerve showing up here"

 

That's all that I can hear in my head. I'm so broken :(

 

I responded when you created your other thread. You never mentioned that you left him for someone else. If you had been upfront about that piece of information versus your mention of how you lost interest in the relationship, I would have certainly pushed for you to leave him alone.

 

You left him for someone else because you said you were bored, but now it was for someone else. Was it because it didn't work out with the new guy that you're now revisiting the ex? You really have to figure out what your intent was because when you do these types of things, you really have to think about how it may affect others around you. Taking into full account that he may have known that you left him for someone else and hence his reaction -- along with 4 months not being enough time for him to heal from his own pain but you prioritizing your needs over his -- to revisit him for your own reasons.

 

I think you need to step back, stay away from all this and try to heal from your relationship from him -- break-up was 4 months ago and then I am guessing you had an ending with the new guy as well. Too much in 4 months for you to now be trying to latch on to someone (ex) again. I'm not even sure what would have changed in 4 months in terms of your ex/relationship that bored you so much after 2 years that would make you want to revisit that again.

Edited by Zahara
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Posted
I responded when you created your other thread. You never mentioned that you left him for someone else. If you had been upfront about that piece of information versus your mention of how you lost interest in the relationship, I would have certainly pushed for you to leave him alone.

 

Sorry i shouldn't have left that piece of info out. I was just very scared of being judged negatively... in a way I deserve it.

 

My ex doesn't need to change. I guess talking to other guys opened up my eyes more to what's out there and that alone made me bored of my relationship, even though it was EVERYTHING I could ask for. I was just being selfish wanting more and more.

 

And yes, the relationship I got into a few weeks after my BU didn't work out. I stumbled over myself.

Posted

I think it's safe to say that most of the folks here know and can relate to your sufferings. Your ex suffered as well and maybe more 4 months ago knowing you left him for someone else.

 

I can understand why he said what he said and then shut the door on you. He's still in pain and angry. And I think you too will understand he's reaction if you can put yourself in his shoes.

 

I wish I have better things to say to comfort you. Have faith.....

  • Like 1
Posted

Reality is pretty harsh, and when you have been out of it, and then come into it, it can be all the more harsher.

 

You owe it to your ex, and to yourself, to stay away, and try and improve on yourself as a person.

 

Some time and some breathing space will do you wonders at this point..other than that, there is really nothing else you can achieve.

  • Like 2
Posted
Sorry i shouldn't have left that piece of info out. I was just very scared of being judged negatively... in a way I deserve it.

 

My ex doesn't need to change. I guess talking to other guys opened up my eyes more to what's out there and that alone made me bored of my relationship, even though it was EVERYTHING I could ask for. I was just being selfish wanting more and more.

 

And yes, the relationship I got into a few weeks after my BU didn't work out. I stumbled over myself.

 

You thought the grass was greener on the other side and it wasn't. When you are in a relationship and you feel that your needs aren't being met, you communicate with your partner. You work on it together. You don't cheat or stray to another man.

 

I'm glad your ex decided to shut the door because most likely you would have done it to him again. I don't think much of you has changed in 4 months. It would be best for you to step back and heal from all of this, learn from your choices and mistakes and hopefully it will help you grow and find maturity so that you can better handle and manage future relationships.

  • Like 2
Posted

I responded when you created your other thread. You never mentioned that you left him for someone else. If you had been upfront about that piece of information versus your mention of how you lost interest in the relationship, I would have certainly pushed for you to leave him alone.

 

You left him for someone else because you said you were bored, but now it was for someone else. Was it because it didn't work out with the new guy that you're now revisiting the ex? You really have to figure out what your intent was because when you do these types of things, you really have to think about how it may affect others around you. Taking into full account that he may have known that you left him for someone else and hence his reaction -- along with 4 months not being enough time for him to heal from his own pain but you prioritizing your needs over his -- to revisit him for your own reasons.

 

I think you need to step back, stay away from all this and try to heal from your relationship from him -- break-up was 4 months ago and then I am guessing you had an ending with the new guy as well. Too much in 4 months for you to now be trying to latch on to someone (ex) again. I'm not even sure what would have changed in 4 months in terms of your ex/relationship that bored you so much after 2 years that would make you want to revisit that again.

 

 

 

YOU did this and expect compassion from us ?

WoW you really do have some nerve let us make this short clear and sweet.

You deserve nothing but what you got and you will not find any shoulder to cry on here.

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