Jiivy Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 I read story upon story here on LS and elsewhere, hear it from my friends and my family and from strangers every which way you can possibly hear it. "She'll come back, she'll never come back, move on, fight for her, go NC, go LC, don't go NC, leave the country!" I myself want to move on but I don't think that obsessively reading stories of reconciliation with ex's to be a healthy thing. It's a habit I'm trying to swiftly kick...So instead, do you have stories of people who have been utterly heartbroken, who found lasting love with other people? One my coping methods has been to write a blog about how I'm feeling each day: The road. | A record of coping for lost relationships Stories of new love are fantastic though....so let's hear them.
Author Jiivy Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 (edited) My first story - my aunty fell madly in love with a white Jewish man some 10-15 years ago now. She approached my (Indian) family and claimed she was ready to marry. The fallout was that she was disowned by a number of my family members and she was thrown back to him to be wed without her family. She did not see/talk to us for some extended time. Since then, his erratic behavious drove my aunty to leave him. I believe she discovered he suffered from BP and he would often switch between claiming to love and claiming to hate her year on year. She was left alone after leaving him but attempted a slow reconciliation with her family instead. 3 years after she left him, she met a new Indian man and got married. He's my uncle now, an AMAZING guy whom I respect greatly. They have two beautiful children, are happy and increadbily successful. Edited April 10, 2014 by Jiivy missed a couple details
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 I'll tell you a few. Dated a guy for almost 2 years. Thought he was The One. Boy was I shocked. The night he came over to dump me, I had honestly thought he was going to propose. Didn't see that coming. I cried & cried. It probably took me six months to stop crying. For the 1st 6 weeks I probably cried every day. Then things got a little better. I realized the earth was still turning. The sun still came out & the world hadn't swallowed me whole. I got involved with another guy. We were together for almost 12 years. Finally I figured out that he would never marry me. The year before the official break up was probably harder than the break up but as bad as it was -- I lost my best friend & my home -- intellectually at least I knew it was the right thing to do. Still there were a lot of tears & some regret. About a year after the break-up I even tried to get back together with him. He didn't even respond. Again, the world kept turning. Met a 3rd guy. I knew we had problems. Looking back that was a rebound for me. I didn't know how to be single because I had not been single since college. When that relationship ended I was able to stand on my own two feet for the 1st time as an adult. After two years of no dates, bad dates, some fun dates, reconnecting with my friends, working on my house, building a business, building a life & figuring out who I was, I met my husband. 6
Poppyolive Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Great idea jivvy. I've got nothing to contribute...maybe eventually, however ilk be following this post for heart warming inspiration when I feel jaded. 1
tlegend Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 One of the most important lessons I've learned in my life is that it doesn't take a relationship with someone to be able to love them, no matter who they are. If you're lucky to find yourself in a relationship with someone you love, who loves you back, well then.... congratulations. You have effectively found what most single people are looking for....and most have no idea what it looks like. 1
AlphaC Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 who found lasting love with other people? Stories of new love are fantastic though....so let's hear them. Thought I would chime in, I have not been on this site for a bit because I have a new gf and I am very happy, not that LS makes me sad, no no no. I learned a lot on this site. As for me, my ex dumped me back in September 2013, left me after a year and a half. I did everything for this girl, treated her like a queen, cried and begged for her after our first break up which lasted for 2 weeks early in 2013. After we got back together her attitude changed for the worse. Her true colors were revealed, she acted like an entitled kid. She became very bitter, argumentative and cheap (cheap is probably too nice of a word to describe this woman, she was a miser). I used to take this woman out to great restaurants, to the Caribbean, all expenses paid. I always picked her up in my car so she wouldn't have to get wet in the rain or wait for public transportation. I treated her better than anyone she had ever been with. How did my ex treat me?? Let me give you a few facts, her ex bf and the guy before me who was FWB were occasionally contacting her, not once did she tell them she was in a relationship. She also kept pictures of her ex on facebook and none of us. This was the reason we broke up the first time. She was also uneducated, talked street language, thug style, lol. I showed her love and she showed me the door... Fast forward a couple of months and she dumps me again, when she dumped me the 2nd time I said "ok." We continued as a couple, however, for another month or so. She would sleep over my house and we carried on like everything was the same but her bitterness, nasty attitude got even worse. She started hanging out with her friends and relegating me to a second class citizen. Then one day she tells me she was confused and needed space, she said this via text. I answered "take all the space you need." From then on I never really saw nor heard from her again. Boy was I hurt - but..... I joined the LS community, I started reading all about relationships, went to see a counselor a few times and with the help of friends I let go of that failed relationship. I started working out 5 days a week, taking dance lessons, I would go out with my friends all the time and very slowly the topic of conversation shifted from that old relationship to the present, to the future and what I wanted for my life. In January I felt ready to start dating and my whole life changed. I was meeting women dancing, I also joined an online dating site, within a week I had 5 dates. By February I had about 10 women really interested in me. There was one girl that captured my heart though, this girl is very sweet, dances realllllllllly well and is caring, educated, sexy, younger, prettier (10x hotter), the whole nine yards. We have been dating for over 2 months now and things are going really well. Do I think about my ex, yes I do, at times!! I think about all the bad things she did to me and I analyze my reasons for staying in that relationship for as long as I did. I know I will never speak to her again, I don't need her for anything, all she ever did was cause me stress. I blocked her on Facebook, changed my phone number and blocked her email (the email block occured two weeks ago). To all my fellow LS members, when someone dumps you look at it as an opportunity, one door closes and another one opens. If my ex had not dumped me I would have never met my current girlfriend. She is tenfold better, in just about every category of compatibility than my ex. I'm now writing a new chapter in my life, all because I valued myself and let go of that failed relationship. I had to work really hard on myself, I never broke contact. I thought early on that I needed to speak to her, figure things out but with time I realized it was not even worth my efforts, that's when I evolved. She on the other hand emailed me 2 weeks ago. I read the first line of her email and deleted it without replying, I then blocked her email. Me and my new girl have trips planned for the summer, I will be visiting Asia for the first time in my life, SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEt! 6
Author Jiivy Posted April 11, 2014 Author Posted April 11, 2014 These stories are heartwarming so far. Finding love again is going to be a beautiful thing - I'm not in any rush to get there, but stories of love after heartbreak are uplifting. Keep them coming!
maturityassets Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I started talking to my current girlfriend a week after my ex dumped me. She had a crush on me for quite a while apparently. When my ex dumped me I was convinced I wasn't going to find someone else. My current girlfriend was there for me for all the post break up between my ex and I. Eventually after 3 months I decided to take a risk and make her my girlfriend. Been dating for a year now and I now see what real love is, two individuals complimenting each other in a relationship.
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