hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 This guy is on the Navy right now. I´ve known him since highschool. He courted me before but I´m not ready yet and so he quit. We are still in contact with each other, though. He told me he still likes me but didn´t asked me if he could court me again. This time I´m sure I will say yes. But, if he didn´t asked me if he could court then I´m still not sure of my place in his life. I want to tell him I´m getting tired of this. How will I make him feel like he´s losing me already? How should I say it? What are your opinions on this? TIA
PegNosePete Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Why are you making it so difficult for yourself? "Would you like to go on a date with me?" 1
Gaeta Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 You have nothing to lose. Ask him if he'd like to go on a date.
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 I can´t cause he´s too far away with the navy. I just want him to feel that if he doesn´t make a move then he´ll lose me.
PegNosePete Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Er - you want him to make a move, but you don't want to make a move because he's too far away? Logic fail.
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 i can´t ask him to go on a date (face to face, physically)..we´re in different countries.I already told him he´s special. Believe me, I already tried to make moves. It´s just him..
PegNosePete Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 What is the problem with him? What do you want him to do in an ideal world?
Chocolat Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Huh? You said he tried to court you previously, but you told him you weren't ready. Now he's in the Navy and told you he still likes you but hasn't asked to court you. And your response is I want to tell him I´m getting tired of this. ?!?!?!? The ball is in your court. This: How will I make him feel like he´s losing me already? is awful. If you genuinely care for him, then tell him. Otherwise, don't play games.
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 I´m not being ideal. In fact, I wanted him to say straight to me if he is still interested with me. So if not, then I can move on. Yes, he said he still likes me but that´s it. Aren´t guys supposed to ask if we could be their girlfriend? And it´s been more than year that we are in this situation where there´s no tag for the relationship we´re in. I´ll do whatever it takes to be with him someday. But for now, I need a reassurance. That´s all..
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Huh? You said he tried to court you previously, but you told him you weren't ready. Now he's in the Navy and told you he still likes you but hasn't asked to court you. And your response is ?!?!?!? The ball is in your court. This: is awful. If you genuinely care for him, then tell him. Otherwise, don't play games. Sorry to confuse you. He courted me when we were in college. Then he quit, as I have said. About 3 years later, he told me he still likes me which put us in a situation we´re in now. I already told him he´s special to me. I´m not playing games. In fact, I had to ask him before he admits he still likes me.
Chocolat Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 This guy is on the Navy right now. I´ve known him since highschool. He courted me before but I´m not ready yet and so he quit. Sorry to confuse you. He courted me when we were in college. Then he quit, as I have said. About 3 years later, he told me he still likes me which put us in a situation we´re in now. You initially said he quit because you told him you were not ready. So... did he quit because he wanted to or because you told him you were not ready?
Thomas the Red Fox Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Is courting the same as just being "official"? This word is confusing. I was under the impression courting means testing you for marriage. Is that what was happening?
Gaeta Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 How long is he gone for? He said he still liked you, I get that but now you want a gf/bf status with him out of the country, just like that?
soccerrprp Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 How long is he gone for? He said he still liked you, I get that but now you want a gf/bf status with him out of the country, just like that? Yeah, he's told you that he likes you and since he's LD, he likely wants to make certain he's going to be closer before making any commitment. What should be cleared up is whether that is the case. Just ask him if he wants to continue where you two last left off?
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Is courting the same as just being "official"? This word is confusing. I was under the impression courting means testing you for marriage. Is that what was happening? Courting to us means being girlfriend and boyfriend.
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 How long is he gone for? He said he still liked you, I get that but now you want a gf/bf status with him out of the country, just like that? It was almost 4 years. I want to have a gf/bf status. But if he´s not yet ready because of the distance, then it´s okay. As long as he clears up to me what his plans are.
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Yeah, he's told you that he likes you and since he's LD, he likely wants to make certain he's going to be closer before making any commitment. What should be cleared up is whether that is the case. Just ask him if he wants to continue where you two last left off? Thank you very much for the advice.
Gaeta Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 It was almost 4 years. I want to have a gf/bf status. But if he´s not yet ready because of the distance, then it´s okay. As long as he clears up to me what his plans are. He is gone for 4 years ???
Author hokugirl Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 He is gone for 4 years ??? Well, almost 4 years. But, last february their navy ship came here, so we met. But, there was no exclusive date between us. I met him along with his friends.
Gaeta Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Well, almost 4 years. But, last february their navy ship came here, so we met. But, there was no exclusive date between us. I met him along with his friends. Ok, sweetie this is ridiculous. Find yourself a local man and go on with your life. This dude isn't the last lovable man on the planet.
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 It would be a rare guy indeed who would want to START an exclusive relationship with somebody far away. Especially in the military where he sees or hears about somebody getting broken up with or cheated on every day because the person at home couldn't stand the distance. While he's away he has lots of opportunities for adventure so there isn't much incentive for him to tie himself down to someone who rejected him years ago just because she is ready now. When he comes home from this deployment, if you are still single & so is he, take the initiative & ask him out on a date. Until then, I don't see how the logistics would work.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 It would be a rare guy indeed who would want to START an exclusive relationship with somebody far away. Especially in the military where he sees or hears about somebody getting broken up with or cheated on every day because the person at home couldn't stand the distance. While he's away he has lots of opportunities for adventure so there isn't much incentive for him to tie himself down to someone who rejected him years ago just because she is ready now. When he comes home from this deployment, if you are still single & so is he, take the initiative & ask him out on a date. Until then, I don't see how the logistics would work. This is the most sensible course of action. I wouldn't invest my feelings in him at this point. What type of relationship can you really have when you won't be able to spend any real time together for the next few years?
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