opnions on my ex?!?

[cheerleader20]

alright so heres what happened: PLEASE read ALL of it in order to get everything. my ex and i dated for about 2 years most of the 2 years we had a pretty good relationship, he was really good to me and we didnt argue alot. about a year into the relationship we started having some problems, i felt like he was pushing away and he started to get very paranoid about me, like he thought i was cheating on him and talking to other guys and stuff, which i wasn't and he didnt have any reason to think that either. we started to fight alot bc i felt like he didnt really care about me anymore bc he didnt act the same anymore. usually we'd make up shortly after and he'd apologize for everything and say how much he loved me and stuff. there was a point about a year and a half into the relationship that we broke up for a few days and his friend hooked him up with this girl, they i guess talked and went on a date but nothing more because we got back together a few days later. then after a couple days he broke up with me for her. i was devastated, i tried to talk to him a few days after the break up, but he told me that he was in love with her and not me anymore. they only dated for 2 weeks, but while he was still dating her he texted me and said he wanted to hangout and talk so we did and he said that he was still in love with me and thought he could get over me by dating someone else, he ended up cheating on her that day with me, and then he broke up with her and we got back together. there was a couple weeks where he went back and fourth between me and her, getting back with me then dumping me for her, then getting back with me. it was a mess until she got another boyfriend and i guess moved on from him. keep in mind they've only known each other maybe a month, MAYBE. but ever since he dated her things never were the same between us. after that we never officially got back together. there where times when we said we were going too but then we didnt. he proceeded to have gf after gf, but he cheated on all of them with me. we both dated other people, but for some reason we couldn't stay away from each other we just kept hooking up every so often. he said he wanted it to be no strings attached, but i still had feelings and i'm pretty sure he did too. we started to hangout more and it wasn't just sex anymore. the way he looked at me when we were together was the way every girl wants to be looked at. but right after we hooked up, we wouldn't talk until the next time we hooked up. I tried to text him and have conversations with him after but he just seemed uninterested. it's been about a year and a half since we offically broke up. i've been off at college and he's been doing his own thing at home. like i said we've been hooking up and hanging out for that year and a half. a couple months ago though he told me he wanted to get back together with me, he said he really did love me and it took him that long to realize it. i told him that i wasn't sure because he hurt me so bad in the past and if that's what he really wanted he was going to have to work really hard and prove it. he told me that he was willing to do whatever it took so i said okay. of course within the next few days he started acting really distant like he didnt care and we started fighting, he said he still loved me though. i found out that he starting talking to his ex again (the one that this whole thing is about, the girl i mentioned first) and they got back together. i was so upset and he just kept telling me that he was sorry for hurting me and that he was the girl he loved all along and all this stuff. then a few weeks after that happend (they were still together), he texted me and we had planned to hookup as long as it was kept a secret from her. for a few days we talked and he was flirting with me through text calling me baby and beautiful and stuff. then in a few weeks when we were supposed to hookup he said that he was in love with her and that he told her everything and made a mistake by saying that stuff to me, and that she was the one and all this. they been together for a few months now and they seem to be perfectly happy. i havent talked to him since then, but i just want opnions. like why would he do that? and if he really loves her or what?

[smileforelena]

Maybe he loves her or maybe he doesnt....fact of the matter is that's no longer your business. I think most of us who go thru this back and forth with our exes are holding on to what was. It will never be what it was. Too many things have happened. There is no answer to the "why would he do that?" that will satisfy you because at the back of your head you are still hoping that he feels something for you so your heart will always justify, make excuses for him, reminisce how he looked at you when you were hooking up, etc. Cheerleader20 I know how it is to want someone back after they left you. Its like tryign to climb up when all you want to do is slide down and go back to what was nice and comfortable. You are young and you said you just started university. You have a whole new world in front of you. Immerse yourself in that world and move on from your confused ex. Every end is a beginning. Let your beginning start.