joel Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 lets say a guy likes this gal right and he in college, after how long of nowing and chatting with the gal should he be askin her out. i now gals are more comfortable doing the groups thing than 1 on 1 with a guy,but what happens if ur a loner or few freinds kind of person then what. i mean if u ask too early u scare her off and she says no right . and if u do that gals well htey gossip like crazy and tell everybody and anybody around campus-one tells one and thorughout before ya now every gal nows about it. that what happening to me right now i get the smirk and lol hahah looks of smiles from girls and i now what its from.
rowi1116 Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 look at what you guys have in common. what do you two talk about? is it comfortable converaation? where have you guys been chatting? online? over lunch? do you live in the same door? have a class in common? how did you become friendly with her? ask her 'are you seeing anyone that would mind me asking you out for a cup of coffee or something?' or something if you dont know if she is single. comfort talking is the biggest factor. making it just a fun hanging out date to get to know each other. dont make yourself nervous! make your date off campus, that way no one crashes. best of luck!!
Merin Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 You're asking for a "Friend" right? JK JK JK The right time to ask someone out is as soon as you realize you have an interest in them.. oh yeah.. and you make sure they're not married, not involved, not gay (you never know), not crazy (sometimes you find this out later.. trust me on this) AND the most important thing.. you feel fairly certain they don't feel like running far and fast every time they see you.. Not all girls are uncomfortable spending one on one time with a guy.. after all she will be dating YOU not one of your friends (you can hope) IF you like her, then by all means ask her out.. before one of your friends or someone else figures out she isn't married, crazy, involved.. you get the idea
alphamale Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by joel i mean if u ask too early u scare her off and she says no right . what you talking, JOEL??? you can ask a gurl out right away. i usually talk with 'em for 20 ro 30 minutes after 1st meeting them and ask 'em out. sometime i am lucky sometime not. once i saw this chick at a bar, she was checking me out, i went up to her and said "i need to take you for dinner this Fri nite". so she says "hey mister, not so fast". so whe talk for 15 minutes and she give me her #.
Author joel Posted February 1, 2005 Author Posted February 1, 2005 i'm not sure did what u said below before just ask her out and she said no then maybe. i mean maybe its a cultural thing -i am asian guy but asian gals tend from what i see to be more cautious and all. maybe its a n american thing maybe i should try this with WFs. i got shot down before and u now what in college gals tell everybdoy everything and my college is very small too so just think about it. the face and embrassement. yeah . aren;t girls a little scared and parnoid of going out wiuth a guy they hardly now-just my feeling and thought. Originally posted by alphamale what you talking, JOEL??? you can ask a gurl out right away. i usually talk with 'em for 20 ro 30 minutes after 1st meeting them and ask 'em out. sometime i am lucky sometime not. once i saw this chick at a bar, she was checking me out, i went up to her and said "i need to take you for dinner this Fri nite". so she says "hey mister, not so fast". so whe talk for 15 minutes and she give me her #.
Pocky Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 lets say a guy likes this gal right and he in college, after how long of nowing and chatting with the gal should he be askin her out. Don't bother asking her out until you can be speaking English.. i now gals are more comfortable doing the groups thing than 1 on 1 with a guy,but what happens if ur a loner or few freinds kind of person then what. It depends on the girl. Not all women want to have a group go along. Generally, I recommend it if someone is extremely shy and worried about the lack of conversation. i mean if u ask too early u scare her off and she says no right . Maybe. Or you could wait a few weeks, invest your time, ask her out and she could still say no. and if u do that gals well htey gossip like crazy and tell everybody and anybody around campus-one tells one and thorughout before ya now every gal nows about it. that what happening to me right now i get the smirk and lol hahah looks of smiles from girls and i now what its from. You're paranoid. Or you attend an extremely small college if you honestly think that one girl would be able to (or even interested in) telling every other girl on campus that you asked her out and she said no.
Bronzepen Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by joel i got shot down before and u now what in college gals tell everybdoy everything and my college is very small too so just think about it. the face and embrassement. yeah . aren;t girls a little scared and parnoid of going out wiuth a guy they hardly now-just my feeling and thought. So? What's so embarassing about asking a girl out and being turned down? I mean it. What, does this girl set the norm on who the other college girls should date and not date? This is the least of your worries, actually this is nothing to worry about. If, as you say, in Asian culture a girl has to know a guy before she dates him and you find this a barrier then date non-asian women. Don't wait for anything. If you see someone you would like to date, just ask them out. Don't wait, don't look desperate either. Just say, Hey I got some tickets for this (pick an event, concert, comedy shoe, circus, etc...) you want to come. Make sure that they know it's a date and not 2 friends hanging out. Good Luck!
Author joel Posted February 1, 2005 Author Posted February 1, 2005 yea but after smalltalk and i personally don't think girls would just go out on a date with some guy they hardly now. well thjats just my personal feeling. my buddy said u gotta make freinds with em first. hmm but freinds for how long.
Scarlett_girl Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 dont wait too long cuz then the girl will start to doubt your feelings...
alphamale Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by joel yea but after smalltalk and i personally don't think girls would just go out on a date with some guy they hardly now. well thjats just my personal feeling. my buddy said u gotta make freinds with em first. hmm but freinds for how long. well JOEL don't take advice from your buddy. a woman sizes you up with the first five minutes of meeting and puts you in either the "relationship material" or "friends" category. Don't u know that man? She has made up her mind about u before you even utter your name! Ask 'em out right away, it shows determination, confidence and assertiveness. All qualities chix like.
Pocky Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by joel yea but after smalltalk and i personally don't think girls would just go out on a date with some guy they hardly now. well thjats just my personal feeling. my buddy said u gotta make freinds with em first. hmm but freinds for how long. Well you can meet her at a local bar/restaurant (hopefully you have one near campus) or a local college hangout.
morrigan Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Ask her if she'd like to go on a date with you (specific day). Or casually ask her to get some lunch with you, talk with her more, and then ask her out. If she turns you down, no big deal. It sounds like you're worried about rejection--it's happened to everyone at least once, and you aren't forced to wear a "R" stamped on your forehead afterwards. Not all girls gossip or broadcast names of guys they've turned down. It doesn't mean that you won't be attractive and interesting to someone else. It's a natural part of gettting out and dating people.
very-confused-girl Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 well you havent mentioned whether you are talking to the girl yet and for how long. If you already had some kind of contact it shouldnt be such a big problem. If you are still embarassed then do it in a VERY casual way so that it would sound like exactly taking her on a date. Try to see whether theres some kind of event in the city where the campus is, or whether they have opened a new bar in the city, some special disco night held on specific time and date, whatever and ask her out. But make it more like that you were planning to go there anyway you are just asking her as a company. You have to look confident, dont make it sound like you are desperate for her attention, but in the same time dont be complacent. Make it sound like you really want to go there and you thought she could be interested as well and you would be glad if she joined you. If you have never talked to the girl yet, then its a bit complicated, but no big deal either. Wait until she is somewhere just by herself, walking somewhere, sitting on a bench and start casual conversation with her.
Stylin22 Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Alright Joel, let's do this....First, what's wrong with tons of girls looking at you and giggling? It's school girl stuff, they all do it. You know that, they know that. You get caught up in it, and get freaked, when it bothers you. Don't let it bother you. And what's more, it's better to have many girls attention on you than none at all. You could look at it as an odds situation and increase your chance of a date by sheer volume (jk). But back to the girl, I personally feel like you are intimidated by the whole situation, cause at the end you finished with reaction of them not so much with her...And here's my reasons for doing it... 1) You can't run from girls, they are every where!!!! Trust me, I've tried...I even started to dig a big hole to hide, realized this, and turned it into a pool... 2) If you are straight, girls become a fact of life. Embrace this and add years onto your life. 3) Get used to 1 and 2 real quick...Cause if you are gay, men of this sort can be worse (no offense)...Cause if you get married, she is gonna be there for a while... 4) You need to know where you stand for future reference. Guys are in the leading role here where it is expected for us to take the lead and ask them out. How you take that lead, depends on whether you get the date. So do this for you. Example, say the girl is a 6 on a 10 scale. She says yes, and you know that you are good with some 6's. Maybe even 7's and 8's. But knowing your point of reference (yep ladies, that's actual guy dating lingo there...) leads to better esteem when having to initiate the 1st move next time. You get rejected, try lower next time. 5) Develop your social skills. You can have your few friends and be the loner but still be able to enjoy a crowd. Get out and meet people to meet them. Maybe you find out being a loner isn't as much fun as before. Find out what works in gaining some inside info on ladies.... 6) Get over this fear of rejection thing, cause face it pal, it ain't a perfect world. You gotta learn things and the only way to do that is by doing them and taking the chance. Kinda like poker, if it's a good pot and you have a decent hand, why not go all-in? 7) Do the reflection thing. Say you like the girl and had an opportunity but let it go cause you were scared of her crew. Are you going to sleep peacefully at night knowing that you let them scare you off? If it's college, she may not even talk to all of them after, and then how's that gonna feel... 8) Stop doing so much thinking. Obviously I should take my own advice but you can analyze anything a million times but solutions only come when action is right before them. 9) Dating is for getting to know someone and weeding out the crazies in life. 10) The absolute answer....Write up something fun, put it on your inside wrist, get drunk, read it to her and pass out. 11) The absolute worse thing....doing nothing due to fear. I wouldn't call that so much a life cause you ain't living... 12) You've got a vanity thing here. A lot of pride about how you will be seen. Girls are drawn to assertiveness and guys admire you for it. I see someone who takes the risk and admire them cause I'm not sure I'd have the cajones to do the daring in that situation.... So chin it up, let them giggle and talk, and start creating some havoc for all us other bros. We got your back and believe that you are a great addition to the male working crew. Try not to go for a cultural thing so much cause they are all women, but go for what attracts you.
Recommended Posts