Ryan R. Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 To me. That's the conclusion I've come to. I've been going on 22 almost 23 years as a virgin and I haven't even gotten a kiss by a girl. Not in high school, not in college. Two of the easiest places to get sex and when women only become more resistant to the idea. Soon, a wedding ring will be a prerequisite to even touch them. I got made fun of indirectly by one of my friends the other day for my lack of success with women. He thought I wouldn't catch it, but I did. After thinking some time, I've just come to the conclusion that dating as a whole isn't worth it. Ok, let's just assume that I become the guy somehow manages to have sex with a lot of girls. I do that and I am trapped in pretty much an endless cycle of that, like a lot of my friends. Then there's the polar opposite where I meet my complete match and everything I want in a girl. Either she doesn't like me or she does. The chances of that happening are extremely low. So I'm not holding out for that. Marriage doesn't even seem that great for most people. So I'm just forgetting the whole idea, really. It all just seems worthless to me. I haven't even developed the skills necessary to seduce a woman, skills that should have been attained in high school and sharpened in college. What's the point of doing all this if I'm never going to lose my virginity or lose it close to or past 40? It just sort of sucks seeing couples do PDA on sites I use such as Facebook and Instagram. I'm reminded of my failures everywhere I go.
verhrzn Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Okay. Good for you? I mean, we should all make decisions that we feel are in our best interest, which makes our lives happier and more productive. If you've decided that dating is not a worthwhile pursuit for you at this time, neat. It's a valid decision. But-um, what's the point of this post? How does it benefit you to tell a dating forum you're giving up on dating, a propos of nothing? I could see if you mentioned it in passing in the context of a thread where the conversation led that way, but what are you looking for here? Support? Someone patting you on the back and saying "Yep them women be bitches"? Or are you hoping someone tries to talk you out of it?
ThaWholigan Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Dude, every 2 weeks or so you make this thread. You're going to let some guy demoralize you and then attach unhappiness to innocuous events like PDAs on top of that? I don't know what to tell you, all I can say is that as long as you feel and believe dating isn't worth it and you can't seem to detach from the whole high school/college experience of sex that you didn't have, then this will all continue, and 2 weeks from now, you'll tell us the same thing complete with a new story about your woes - maybe some girls ignored you or your friend said something to you that upset you again. Either way, the cycle can be broken, but you have to endure the *****ty period and program yourself to look at things from other angles.
Author Ryan R. Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Okay. Good for you? I mean, we should all make decisions that we feel are in our best interest, which makes our lives happier and more productive. If you've decided that dating is not a worthwhile pursuit for you at this time, neat. It's a valid decision. But-um, what's the point of this post? How does it benefit you to tell a dating forum you're giving up on dating, a propos of nothing? I could see if you mentioned it in passing in the context of a thread where the conversation led that way, but what are you looking for here? Support? Someone patting you on the back and saying "Yep them women be bitches"? Or are you hoping someone tries to talk you out of it? The intention was to create a topic where other men can say that they're going to as well or they already have. It was intended as a gathering place for other like minded-individuals. I don't really have anything to gain and was merely explaining my point of view. If you gain no worth from this thread, I don't see why you opened it. Edited April 9, 2014 by Ryan R.
ThaWholigan Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 The intention was to create a topic where other men can say that they're going to as well or they already have. It was intended as a gathering place for other like minded-individuals. I don't really have anything to gain and was merely explaining my point of view. If you gain no worth from this thread, I don't see why you opened it. In that case, then I can say from my point of view that dating for me at this point isn't worth it because I do not feel comfortable doing so in my current financial and living situation.
M30USA Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) I don't date, either. I didn't before marriage and I'm not dating after divorce. I've always said people don't show their true selves with dating anyway. You're better off just letting the chips fall where they may. If you're lucky, you'll be friends with a girl for a while first. This will allow you to see her true self before she puts on a show. The only people this approach does NOT work for are: 1) people who get lonely easily, and 2) people who want casual sex/flings. I'm not either of those. Edited April 9, 2014 by M30USA
tbf Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Desperation isn't attractive since it brings to mind the male equivalent of this meme. http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/overly_attached_girlfriend_one_does_not_simply_break_up_with_me.png You're 22 years old which is a ridiculously young age. This is the time to change thorugh self-improvement, before your prefrontal cortex solidifies by age 25. 1
Author Ryan R. Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 Desperation isn't attractive since it brings to mind the male equivalent of this meme. http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/overly_attached_girlfriend_one_does_not_simply_break_up_with_me.png You're 22 years old which is a ridiculously young age. This is the time to change thorugh self-improvement, before your prefrontal cortex solidifies by age 25. I don't see how I'm desperate. Despite there being a point of no-return, people who are past 25 manage to change everyday, so I don't see how that's relevant. 22 is young, but in terms of dating and relationships, that's very old. 8 more years and most of my peers will be married or in a LTR leading to marriage.
Author Ryan R. Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 I can understand from your postings why women are not attracted to you so use your energy in a positive direction. I don't understand what you mean.
Bigcitydreamer Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Why don't you post a picture of yourself and we can make suggestions on how to increase your attractiveness? I always wish people would do this because you could potentially get a suggestion that makes a difference for you. Do you wear clothes other people in your area at your age are wearing? Do you have a recent hair style, and keep yourself fresh and clean? As we all know attraction plays a major role and those are things that would make someone at least slightly more attractive. People can be virgins for longer than average for many reasons. Lots of people haven't had many partners either, and they may have just lucked in to meeting one person who became their partner, effectively making them not virgins anymore. I wouldn't assume that just because you are a virgin that you will be one until your 30. Maybe you can meet a nice girl tomorrow? Dress well- current, fashionable, well fitting clothes. Smell nice Look clean and fresh Those are just ways to easily enhance your appearance, and you need to improve on your confidence and attitude. Girls like guys who are friendly and interesting, fun, nice, and attractive. Do cool stuff, be the person you WANT to be. The only thing stopping you from being that person is yourself, and thats great news because it means you have the power to make changes. 1
Keenly Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Mining for gold is worth it if you actually find the gold. One day you will see why its worth it. Hopefully soon.
Author Ryan R. Posted April 12, 2014 Author Posted April 12, 2014 You make the same thread over and over again I didn't see where I asked you to open it. I can see where I'm not wanted. Adios.
KaliLove Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 You're just a kid. You have plenty of time to get laid. Relax. 1
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