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Can I text the dumper to let her know that I will always be there for her?

Ordinaryday

By Ordinaryday
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

Posted
Posted

yeah she dumped me, but she was going through a really tough time and we suffered as a result. she was near suicidal and had to take anti-depressant medication.

 

anyway, yeah she dumped me but it just feels so final, someone you shared everything with is for all intents and purposes dead, hence the expression "she is dead to me".

 

she had so many problems she was trying to work through, emotional, financial, family, depression, etc.

 

I was at a much more stable place in life than she is, and I often helped her out.

 

can I text her to let her know that I will always be there for her if she needs me, and that even though she dumped me if she ever needs anything she can call me and I will be there for her?

 

is this a good idea? :o:lmao::D:p:rolleyes::cool:

Breadimus Member

Breadimus

Posted
Posted (edited)

No.

 

She is prepared to never, ever, ever see you again. Be the good man you are and stay out of her life like she requested. She knows how much you love and care and she has your number.

 

Remember the joy you had together, cherish her soul and the bond you had and move on for the woman you will eventually mirror your love.

 

She does not deserve the very best of you if she is not going to give you the very best of her.

Edited by Breadimus
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Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

Posted
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Posted
No.

 

She is prepared to never, ever, ever see you again.

 

never EVER again?? I just don't see how that is possible! how can anyone who once loved someone be prepared to completely and entirely cut this person out of their life FOREVER???

 

I can understand for a few months or so but FOREVER?? How is that even possible?

mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

you can, but it will make you look like a weak loser.....to put it in laymans terms.

 

Don't do it. Silence is golden.

 

Why would you want to reach out? She dumped you.

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faithfully Established Member

faithfully

Posted
Posted

Sorry but as soon as I read the title of this thread I bust out laughing!!!

 

Why in gods name would you want to be there for somebody who wanted you out of their lives. who dumped you( rejected you) Why?? Why???

 

Yeah I agree with the previous reply don't contact her ever and definitely not anytime soon.

 

Her problem is not your problem, she should have thought about that before she broke your heart,

 

Answer me this: If you had problems and really needed her help, deep down even when she rejected- dumped you whatever, Dyou think she would bend over backwards to help you?? HELL NOOOOO

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Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

Posted
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you can, but it will make you look like a weak loser.....to put it in laymans terms.

 

Don't do it. Silence is golden.

 

Why would you want to reach out? She dumped you.

 

well I was thinking it would be nice to reach out to her and tell her that I will always care about her, always be there for her, she will always be special to me and that if she ever needs ANYTHING she can give me a call...

 

that way when she is at a low point in her life in a few months or years time and she remembers what I said, she will reach out to me. then I will tell her "are you effing serious? you need me to help you after what you did to me? piss off and dont ever contact me again"

 

that would be nice.

Breadimus Member

Breadimus

Posted
Posted
never EVER again?? I just don't see how that is possible! how can anyone who once loved someone be prepared to completely and entirely cut this person out of their life FOREVER???

 

I can understand for a few months or so but FOREVER?? How is that even possible?

 

ThT is the question men and women have asked since the first break up.

 

I broke a girls heart once, I left her in tears crying on her bed curled up in a ball screaming my pet name in agony. I loved her once, but at that moment I did not and to me she was a stranger. How I did that I will never know, but I dont regret it.

 

I have never seen her since and for a time I would have died for her.

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Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

Posted
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Sorry but as soon as I read the title of this thread I bust out laughing!!!

 

Why in gods name would you want to be there for somebody who wanted you out of their lives. who dumped you( rejected you) Why?? Why???

 

Yeah I agree with the previous reply don't contact her ever and definitely not anytime soon.

 

Her problem is not your problem, she should have thought about that before she broke your heart,

 

Answer me this: If you had problems and really needed her help, deep down even when she rejected- dumped you whatever, Dyou think she would bend over backwards to help you?? HELL NOOOOO

 

described us perfectly. I had problems as well that she wanted me to work through and then she gave up on me. not once since the breakup has she ever contacted me to ask how I am going with the problems or to offer assistance/help/anything.

 

not that I would want her to, but still

martaldn Established Member

martaldn

Posted
Posted
never EVER again?? I just don't see how that is possible! how can anyone who once loved someone be prepared to completely and entirely cut this person out of their life FOREVER???

 

I can understand for a few months or so but FOREVER?? How is that even possible?

 

Never is a scaring word.

i hate when people say never because it give you not hope.however U you dont know what the future holds for you and If it is meant for you 2 to meet up again you eventually will but now you have to live your present without her and be prepared to not have her in your life again.

she probably knows you would help her out and comfort her but she doesnt need you now..

I know its hard to digest but if it makes you feel better there a hundred of other people here in your same boat and we know how you must feel.

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faithfully Established Member

faithfully

Posted
Posted
well I was thinking it would be nice to reach out to her and tell her that I will always care about her, always be there for her, she will always be special to me and that if she ever needs ANYTHING she can give me a call...

 

that way when she is at a low point in her life in a few months or years time and she remembers what I said, she will reach out to me. then I will tell her "are you effing serious? you need me to help you after what you did to me? piss off and dont ever contact me again"

 

that would be nice.

 

 

Am sure revenge would be sweet but if that is your plan, then that is a snakey and nasty thing to do.

 

just carry on ignoring and move on with your life. you will be a better person that suggesting a stupid game plan.

 

don't let her know you will be there for her but if she ever contacts you, just ignore her.

 

My ex aint worth crap and I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire but I wouldn't go outta my way to be snakey about things pretending to car and when they need my help tell them to get lost.

 

Games like that will come back and bite you in the arse 10times. Think about it

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Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Think of your relationship as a job (because it basically was). At one point she fired you. She told you that your services as boyfriend are no longer required.

 

 

Now think of your real life experiences. If you were let go from a job, have you written your previous employers and said, "Hey, if you need me to come in and work for free, I'll go ahead and do it"? HELL NO!!! You dusted off your resume and looked for a new job!

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spicelover Established Member

spicelover

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Posted

If you "love" her, and genuinely do love her, then yes. I believe you should. So long as you realise she may never come back to you. So long as you're prepared to accept that, and you really just mean that you'll always be there for her which doesn't necessarily mean a romantic relationship, but you'll be there as a friend through all of her ups and downs. Then tell her.

 

If you're saying only with the motivation that you expect one day she may want you back because of you being there for her, then please don't. Walk away. Never look back for your own sake.

Kitchen Established Member

Kitchen

Posted
Posted

can I text her to let her know that I will always be there for her if she needs me, and that even though she dumped me if she ever needs anything she can call me and I will be there for her?

 

 

Nope, unless you're prepared to send her your balls along with that text.

 

Doing this will push her away further, give her more of the upper hand, and make you feel like garbage.

 

So no, don't do that.

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organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
well I was thinking it would be nice to reach out to her and tell her that I will always care about her, always be there for her, she will always be special to me and that if she ever needs ANYTHING she can give me a call...

 

that way when she is at a low point in her life in a few months or years time and she remembers what I said, she will reach out to me. then I will tell her "are you effing serious? you need me to help you after what you did to me? piss off and dont ever contact me again"

 

that would be nice.

 

And very immature.

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HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

Posted
Posted

Jeez the girl was ill! People act different when they are suffering! I think it's a bloody lovely idea & I think u should as long as u are sure it was all that which may have swayed her decision x

erklat Established Member

erklat

Posted
Posted

He is saying he will always be there not because he wants or will be there for her, but to coerce her to change her mind.

 

Thus the answer is NO.

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Tressugar Established Member

Tressugar

Posted
Posted

Invest your time wisely.

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Lifegoezon Established Member

Lifegoezon

Posted
Posted
never EVER again?? I just don't see how that is possible! how can anyone who once loved someone be prepared to completely and entirely cut this person out of their life FOREVER???

 

I can understand for a few months or so but FOREVER?? How is that even possible?

 

Yes of course it's possible. Actually, assuming there has been any healing, the more time that passes, the less either person naturally thinks about the other anyway. How many times have you wanted to call any if your previous exes, who you dumped, for support? Contact after a long time is unlikely to be for that reason. Unless of course one person has allowed themself to be friend-zoned. Which is the best you can hope for with your text. The worst is that she finds you pathetic.

 

So whether you mean to reach out with love, or with plans for revenge (really childish) I'd say don't do it.

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hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

Posted
Posted

I don't think you really mean it.

 

Maybe you think you mean it, but I don't.

 

I think you're happy to be there for her so when the fog clears you are there to sweep her back up into yours arms and ride off into the sunset.

 

I think if some other guy swoops in and sweeps her up first, you're going to feel resentful. All because you probably don't actually mean you will always be there for her and what you really mean is you will wait around until she is ready to take you back.

 

I understand it is painful and hard to wrap ones head around the idea that one day someone you share so much with is just going to be a stranger, but that is just how it goes sometimes.

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hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

Posted
Posted
never EVER again?? I just don't see how that is possible! how can anyone who once loved someone be prepared to completely and entirely cut this person out of their life FOREVER???

 

I can understand for a few months or so but FOREVER?? How is that even possible?

 

Is this your first serious relationship?

 

It is possible because people move on and meet other people. In cases they have better relationships and feel greater love for someone they meet post a relationship where they were formerly in love with someone else. There is no one from my past who I have been so in love with or had the same connection as my current partner, does anyone from my past want to know that? I don't know probably not.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted

It's an awful, awful idea. It's worse than when the raccoon got stuck in the copier.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

Everybody reading this thread needs to realize that he just wants to get revenge on her.

 

Look over his previous posts.

 

He basically wants to trick her into asking him for help when she really needs it so he can tell her to F off.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted
He is saying he will always be there not because he wants or will be there for her, but to coerce her to change her mind.

 

Thus the answer is NO.

 

I agree. The only reason anyone would send that message is to try to get back with the other person. He may not realize his true motives though and had convinced himself otherwise. I think I said something like this post breakup, but it wasn't coming from a place of sincerity.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Everybody reading this thread needs to realize that he just wants to get revenge on her.

 

Look over his previous posts.

 

He basically wants to trick her into asking him for help when she really needs it so he can tell her to F off.

 

If this is the case, this even more of a horrible idea and makes the OP look like a jackass.

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pickflicker Established Member

pickflicker

Posted
Posted

So, it's clear you're not over your ex...

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