FrostBlaze Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) I was the dumpee btw. I really miss her, her company and everything that came with it, even our little arguments. It was all good with this NC for like 3-4 month's now, but i suddently started to miss her, bad, for a whole week now. I wanted/want to call and see how she is and just talk to her, idc if she has someone else, just wondering how she is since i haven't heard from her in so long and she has no internet where she moved, well almost. Last time we spoke we had argued really bad, so i mostly want to ring because of that. The only "contact" i got from her was a happy birthday text 1 month ago, very simple and bland, "happy birthday, X :)" still angry on me. I wanted to text and when i hit send luck saved me from delivering the message, as i was out of credit. I know i shouldn't...but it's hard on me right now. venting. Should i try to call her? I am not hoping for anything except to talk to her and catch up, not feed her ego or anything. Just that the happy birthday text...maybe she is like "the ball is in your court now". >_> Damn i miss her xD i don't even wanna get back toghether, just the fun we had. Edited April 9, 2014 by FrostBlaze
faithfully Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Have you ever thought what if you contact her and she tells you all the things you don't wanna hear, then what?? how she doesn't miss you or want you back, or shes in a very happy relationship and wants nothing more to do with you? then what would you do? leave it for another 3/4 months and try again?? Darling why don't you leave the past to be and Look forward. How you gonna move on if you wanna go back to your past?? If its meant to be it will and she will contact and ask you for lunch, the fact she hasn't done that does that not tell you she isn't interested or she has moved on? cant you not find someone new who you can have those fun things with. she is not the only woman on this world who loves to have/or can have fun. 1
David87 Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 OP you want your ex back, not the fun you had, let's face it, this will never happen. Why do you wanna be with someone that doesn't want to be with you? She dumped you and if she misses you you'll be the first to know. 1
Author FrostBlaze Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 Most of the time the advice is good and assumptions you people make, but this is wrong. It's a bit more twisted, i can't explain it. I want to hear from her, talk, friends, but i don't want her back. I can never trust this person that way again, in a sick way i might want to hear her say she want's me, but i would refuse her. Dumb right? cant you not find someone new who you can have those fun things with. she is not the only woman on this world who loves to have/or can have fun. I hear you, but. Uh...well you see, i am farily sure that IF i COULD, i wouldn't be here. The fact that she was the first person i ever liked in 24 years, well damn, god knows when i will love someone else again, took me this much to find ONE. Not saying i can't love anyone again, but i just don't quite find them to my liking...i am not picky per-say, i just like them more simple wich most women aren't. (for instance, i like my gal to not wear makeup, or very little of it) xD So i'm in a little predicament that resembles desperation. Thanks for the input btw.
faithfully Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Most of the time the advice is good and assumptions you people make, but this is wrong. It's a bit more twisted, i can't explain it. I want to hear from her, talk, friends, but i don't want her back. I can never trust this person that way again, in a sick way i might want to hear her say she want's me, but i would refuse her. Dumb right? I hear you, but. Uh...well you see, i am farily sure that IF i COULD, i wouldn't be here. The fact that she was the first person i ever liked in 24 years, well damn, god knows when i will love someone else again, took me this much to find ONE. Not saying i can't love anyone again, but i just don't quite find them to my liking...i am not picky per-say, i just like them more simple wich most women aren't. (for instance, i like my gal to not wear makeup, or very little of it) xD So i'm in a little predicament that resembles desperation. Thanks for the input btw. Ok that's fine but can I ask you a question?? you said you just want to speak to her but what would it achieve? how would that friendship, talk benefit you in anyway?? I can prob think nothing good will come out of it but yes I could be very very wrong. deep down you know you want her back, but I sense you are in denial but its ok. As for finding a woman to have fun with, you COULD but you are choosing not to that's why your here coz we all have choices in life darling. there are a lot of women who don't wear make up or very little including me. The only time I wear make up is if am going on a night out, birthday party or special occasions. I get in my car and drive to the gym, shop, work, dentist, shopping with no make up. so a woman with no make up isn't that hard to find. Sound like you are looking for excuses. I hope am wrong
Author FrostBlaze Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) It would give me some sort of relief since i still care and worry. Considering she has been off the grid/no internet/text for so long, i just think something might be wrong with her.(ofc she can be just fine). She was supposed to get surgery and is very fragile and weak, would feel sick often. I almost always had to worry for her if she was out and alone, i don't worry in general, but she really makes you do so >_>. She also Had some guys follow her and something almost happened, know wha i mean, stuff like that. Yes ik i want her back, i woudn't miss her if it wasn't so. BUT at the same time i don't. I ment when i said that i would never take her back, it's ruined, the trust, respect, so i never think of taking her back. I only think of what could of been if things didn't **** up so badly. So yes, living in the past it seems. I am aware of myself and criticize, might be in denial but i think not. As for other girls, i don't find many like that, but the makeup thing was just a small example, it's some other little things. I just seem to find superficial ones, the nice ones are at home or something xD. I've liked girls and dated, but i only ever loved one, except for my mother ofc . Since this is my first meeting with this feeling, i am just coping hard with it and learning, when i broke up with my other X'z, we talked with the let's be friends excuse for another week or so, then i never bothered them again and i didn't care either. Got over it quick. I never felt so mushy and not "myself", love made me awkward and weak >_>. PS: Thanks, i am not going to call, probably was not going to anyway. I just needed other people to tell me not to do it...eh, had to talk it over. Edited April 9, 2014 by FrostBlaze
faithfully Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 awww now that we have got most of the truth out of you, that's good. I can a thousand % feel and understand exactly what your going thru. Love does make us mushy and things we never dreamt of doing/saying. but if you can get over your other ex am definitely sure you can get over this recent ex- she aint that special, she doesn't **** gold, nor money comes out of her mouth. it takes time, some people a lot longer for some. I don't think you should try rush it but do whatever you can to heal and move on. Am not saying get into a relationship- far from it. like a hobby or something. I never used to believe time was a great healer but it is, well you know you have had ex before. I'm glad you didn't text her or write to her. There is a girl out there who you will love and she will appreciate you. it hurts now but it will be alright
Lifegoezon Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 It's not your job to care about how she is or whether she's ok. She sacked you from that job. She may have someone else to do that job by now. If you just want a catch up you have to be able to accept that's the news she might share. You miss her company you say - a friendly catch up probably won't fix that. If she has a new bf, he probably won't appreciate her making a habit of that even in the remote event that she wanted to. You are in denial. You do want her back. You have limited experience of relationships you say, you have to trust that there will be someone else. When you are ready. Well done for not contacting her.
Author FrostBlaze Posted April 9, 2014 Author Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) I never denied i didn't want her back. I just said i won't do it, even if i want to, it's easy for me to do so, i never go against my own word and it's easy for me to abstain from such things once i say so. Most i am willing to give if anything ever happens(now or 10 years from now) is a fwb, never a relationship, not with her. Ik this is bad for me, i tried to forget, but i just can't. Doing my best over here. Tried flirting with new people, only to miss her even more, i am just not over it. Anyhoo, thanks, got that off my chest since i had noone to share it with. So it's all good for a while ^^. Edited April 9, 2014 by FrostBlaze
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