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Should i wish my ex happy birthday? Or stick with no contact?

nutcheesy

By nutcheesy
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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I CAVED IN. I just went to check all the social medias on them. The new dude posting lovey dovey quotes on his tumblr and i feel like ****.

 

Should i just remove my ex from my facebook (unfriend) and block her off instagram? Will that help? Will that lose all chance in her wanting me back at all?

David87 Established Member

David87

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Yes, please block her on social media. It's better this way and it's also part of NC.

 

You have to accept the fact that it's over .... she dumped you....try to move on.

FredJones80 Established Member

FredJones80

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Block her, remove and and stop checking!

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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Block her, remove and and stop checking!

 

If i remove her out totally.. does that remove all the chances of us getting back together in future? Do i look like some sort of childish brat?

FredJones80 Established Member

FredJones80

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If i remove her out totally.. does that remove all the chances of us getting back together in future? Do i look like some sort of childish brat?

 

No, it looks like you're doing what is best for you and putting yourself first because in this situation you have to.

 

If she wants you back, she will do all she can to make that happen.

 

Keep checking up on her life is prolonging your own pain.

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Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

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If i remove her out totally.. does that remove all the chances of us getting back together in future? Do i look like some sort of childish brat?

 

I recently changed my mobile number and it caused me a bit of pain because I thought the same thing. IF my ex wants to come back how will she get in contact with me - she wont be able to ring or text.

 

then I realised that she knows where I live, my facebook, etc.

 

if she REALLY wanted to come back she could, phone number or not.

 

not that I would take her back, but it would be a nice egoboost.

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David87 Established Member

David87

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If you block her now on fb you have greater chances to get back together in the future, but that's not the point. This is for you, it's time to be selfish.....

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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No, it looks like you're doing what is best for you and putting yourself first because in this situation you have to.

 

If she wants you back, she will do all she can to make that happen.

 

Keep checking up on her life is prolonging your own pain.

 

Do you guys think it will be okay to just drop her an email (she hardly checks her email).

Just saying smth along this line.. 'Hey, i decided to remove you from social medias so i can move on better, no hard feelings yea. Maybe we could still be friends in future, for now i just want to forget you.''

FredJones80 Established Member

FredJones80

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Do you guys think it will be okay to just drop her an email (she hardly checks her email).

Just saying smth along this line.. 'Hey, i decided to remove you from social medias so i can move on better, no hard feelings yea. Maybe we could still be friends in future, for now i just want to forget you.''

 

Personally I wouldn't bother. If she is already with someone new she will probably just shrug.

 

You're not together, you no longer have to explain your actions, but do as you feel fit.

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organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

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do you guys think it will be okay to just drop her an email (she hardly checks her email).

Just saying smth along this line.. 'hey, i decided to remove you from social medias so i can move on better, no hard feelings yea. Maybe we could still be friends in future, for now i just want to forget you.''

 

........no

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Elle1975 Established Member

Elle1975

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Reading this post I realize his birthday is coming up June 5th. I'm not planning on texting him, no. No reaching out, no "bumping" into each other, no contacting, etc..

 

Even though I really miss him, I am not worried about what he thinks about me not texting, calling, etc... Oddly enough, couldn't give a flying f*** ..

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malin819 Established Member

malin819

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I wished happy birthday to my ex and it only created a ****storm

 

don't do it lol

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Elle1975 Established Member

Elle1975

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I wished happy birthday to my ex and it only created a ****storm

 

don't do it lol

 

Yeah.. and it's funny how the mind works.. we convince ourselves that it's a good and logical reason to wish an ex happy birthday.. It's like getting a fix or something.. "just one cigarette, it won't hurt".. Most of the time we just come up as pathetic or needy; or both.

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Echomaker Member

Echomaker

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Do you guys think it will be okay to just drop her an email (she hardly checks her email).

Just saying smth along this line.. 'Hey, i decided to remove you from social medias so i can move on better, no hard feelings yea. Maybe we could still be friends in future, for now i just want to forget you.''

 

No. You're missing the point of NC if you do this.

 

It's one thing if the break-up was amicable and/or mutual. This break-up was not such. She dumped you, you tried to reach out and she shot you down again and again. You also, in your words, told her to **** off (whether she deserved it or not really doesn't matter). She does not want anything to with you anymore.

 

Taking the high road in this situation need not to be courteous and tell her your plans to go NC. In this case, it's simply DOING it. Go out strong (while you still can) and with your dignity as intact as possible and leave her behind entirely.

Edited by Echomaker
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Elle1975 Established Member

Elle1975

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No. You're missing the point of NC if you do this.

 

It's one thing if the break-up was amicable and/or mutual. This break-up was not such. She dumped you, you tried to reach out and she shot you down again and again. You also, in your words, told her to **** off (whether she deserved it or not really doesn't matter). She does not want anything to with you anymore.

 

Taking the high road in this situation need not to be courteous and tell her your plans to go NC. In this case, it's simply DOING it. Go out strong (while you still can) and with your dignity as intact as possible and leave her behind entirely.

 

Plus it will translate into "I'm trying to pick your interest/make you react/etc. I'm just too obvious about it."

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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How do you dumpees get over this? Get over someone who once thought loved you to the moon and back.. Someone who plan a future with you. Her new date looks so much like me.. The hair the build. I can't stop comparing and feel.inferior. I want this to be over.. I just went clubbing but yet I don't felt like just could just hook up with anyone.. I'm not that kind. Idk how to move on.

Elle1975 Established Member

Elle1975

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How do you dumpees get over this? Get over someone who once thought loved you to the moon and back.. Someone who plan a future with you. Her new date looks so much like me.. The hair the build. I can't stop comparing and feel.inferior. I want this to be over.. I just went clubbing but yet I don't felt like just could just hook up with anyone.. I'm not that kind. Idk how to move on.

 

Well it's not like it happens in one day. Just because I'm cracking jokes or answering posts doesn't mean I'm feeling great. I'm actually having a hell of a crappy day.

 

It's a day by day recovery. A concious effort too. By going clubbing you are making this effort; it's a step forward.

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BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

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How do you dumpees get over this? Get over someone who once thought loved you to the moon and back.. Someone who plan a future with you. Her new date looks so much like me.. The hair the build. I can't stop comparing and feel.inferior. I want this to be over.. I just went clubbing but yet I don't felt like just could just hook up with anyone.. I'm not that kind. Idk how to move on.

 

It's taken me about a year to get to the point of feeling peace over what happened. I probably would have flipped if you had told me it would take this long last year. What an awful year. Consistently distancing yourself emotionally from the person is very important. That was heart wrenching to do, but it's the only way you move on.

Echomaker Member

Echomaker

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How do you dumpees get over this? Get over someone who once thought loved you to the moon and back.. Someone who plan a future with you. Her new date looks so much like me.. The hair the build. I can't stop comparing and feel.inferior. I want this to be over.. I just went clubbing but yet I don't felt like just could just hook up with anyone.. I'm not that kind. Idk how to move on.

 

There's no point in sugarcoating it; it hurts like HELL, and it's a stressful journey. I made all the same mistakes you made with my first girlfriend - I begged, I stayed in touch, I asked for friendship. Many of us here have done these same things. Until the day finally came I wised up and knew I was prolonging my suffering. Cutting your ex off for good will not immediately heal everything, but it is the start.

 

You spent two years caring for her. Now it's time to care for yourself. It doesn't mean you have to completely stop caring about her, but you have to put your happiness first now. You got this, my friend. You stumbled several times, but you can still pick yourself up and dust off. It will be hard, but I promise you, you will get there and it will be a great feeling.

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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Well it's not like it happens in one day. Just because I'm cracking jokes or answering posts doesn't mean I'm feeling great. I'm actually having a hell of a crappy day.

 

It's a day by day recovery. A concious effort too. By going clubbing you are making this effort; it's a step forward.

 

I feel terrible after club. It's like back to day 1 of break up crying state. I haven cried for nearly a week but just let it all out yesterday. I don't know if it's because Unfriending and blocking her is affecting me because I have just indirectly told her.. I don't need you in life too.

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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We broke up 1.5 months ago.. am on day 15 of NC. The last time we met, we still made out did stuff and she said she was confused between the new person and me, and string me along with, ' still love me more than anyone else, idk what our future may be' etc etc.

 

I thought days will get better, im still stuck onto her. Im constantly waiting for her to text me, call me back. Having urges to stalk her social medias. Then asking myself constantly, why do i want her back? Why would i want someone who left me for others? She is out there ****ing this new dude while im here pinning for her return?! I want to hate her and be angry with her.. but i cant. I want her back, but i really shouldnt. She's not healthy for me, and she will only do it again even if she comes back. How can i accept this. How can i accept that there's no more hope in us..

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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I told her to remove my DP off her facebook profile when she has moved on.. it's still there. And im checking it out everyday even though i unfriend her so i wouldnt check her out..sigh

ahthepain Established Member

ahthepain

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I'm 6 weeks post BU and still hurt man.

 

I think of her all the time and she is with a new guy now. I would still jump back in with her if she offered, but she never will. She is a very emotionally cold person.

 

Keep telling yourself the faults with the ex.

 

I know that we weren't meant to be together in the long run but it still hurts. I miss her as a friend more than anything.

 

I'm a week into no contact now and feel better.

 

Best of luck.

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nutcheesy Member

nutcheesy

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Sounds like your going through the same things as me at the same timing. How did you guys end off the contact? Did she string you along and gave you hope?

faithfully Established Member

faithfully

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8 months BU, 5months NC

 

It really gets better trust me. You go dayss without thinking of them.

 

You will look back and think wtf was i doing lol

 

You be fine ;)

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