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shocking - I have broken NC


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Posted (edited)

I did yesterday.

it has been all my fault. during these days of NC ( nearly 25 i think ) i was just building up anger and resentment. I blown up for a stupid twitter he posted and I have sent a nasty email saying ( again ) I thought his GF needed to know the truth.

That was only an excuse though I only wanted to make him feel miserable again like I have been feeling for the past month while he was pretending to be happy and playing the good boyfriend in the perfect relationship.

 

I pushed him to meet, in the 3 hours of conversation I was constantly fighting with the anger I have - i said him i hated him for what he did to me. for the fact he never tried to be my BF and see if we could work together, I have said i didnt care if he was feeling bad because that was what I wanted. - and long moments of tears where I was sobbing so much people at the place started looking at us. I was being horrible with him and I knew I was but I couldnt stop myself.

 

it was an useless meeting because I didnt get what I wanted. he told me he wants to try to erase the past ( and this include me of course ) and the mistakes he made and try to be a better person in this relationship. he told me we can be friends again in the future, but at moment we need both time to heal.

I need to heal my pain and control my anger and my frustration and he needs time to trust me again because this was the second time I used our affair as a way to hurt him.

So I am back to square one again.

 

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Edited by martaldn
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