why do some ow think this...?

[Hope Shimmers]

Hope, as a fOW who can identify, all I can say is WOW. Once again you've eloquently articulated what so many of us have lived. Next August it will be 2 years post dday for me. Like you, Jellybeans post triggered me in a bad way. Thank you for your reply. I identified with SO MUCH. I too experienced suicidal ideation during my darkest hours. On the flip side I continued successfully single-parenting a teenager (fully aware of the A, dday) through the aftermath. It wasn't without bumps, like any life experience, but she's emerged a strong beautiful intelligent and hard-working young woman, is set to graduate this June, and I couldn't be prouder.

 

Hugs,

starchild

 

Thanks starchild. I appreciate your post!

 

Affairs are hard on everybody. Congratulations on getting through it and coming out the other side successfully - and most of all, congratulations on your daughter!!!

[Hope Shimmers]

I almost "liked" this post. It's really good. Except I don't want him to go out of the M for sex but rather to D, marry the woman who can love him completely, while working out a way to continue to be of help to the ex W who needs it. Seems complicated but also seems it would be worth it.

 

I agree with sidney and also with Speaking. Unfortunately, it was not up to me how to handle it. The one thing we both know now - and have talked about - was that how he/we handled it in the beginning was a mistake all around.

[Hope Shimmers]

For me once the his girlfriend was exposed he dumped her. It was all about cake eating and our roles in his life. I couldn't understand why anyone would willingly put their life on hold for a mm. He told me she was a desperate lonely woman and he used her. I saw the love notes, the cheap dates and I mean they were really cheap, but she accepted his excuse that I was spending all of his money. As much as he talked about my weight his side piece was much larger than I was. He made disparaging remarks about her body...but yet he screwed her. According to him even pitiful vaginas are better than no vaginas. In his mind once she slept with a married man, she became a "ho." (His words.)

 

What's the difference between a betrayed spouse's pain and OW...OW sign on for less. There is no shared camaraderie. These cheating men know exactly what they are doing and if he loves you, he will divorce his wife and honor you. That piece of paper, his last name, and who he chooses to be the mother of his children are huge. With these guys, were they put their penises, not so much.

 

When I read some of the post by OW and their mm love, it makes me think of the jerks on Jerry Springer. He is a proven cheat and a liar, who wants that? My OW wasted her prime fertile years on a man that didn't want to have babies with her.

 

I'm sorry, but this man sounds like a total jerk. Just so you know, not all A's are like that. Mine was not even remotely like that. He definitely treated her like a 'side piece'. I hope you are no longer with such a man.

[Hope Shimmers]

Speaking, not to T/J this thread -- just wanted to say I have NO anger at all! I am probably in one of the happiest times of my life. Just received a huge award at work, relationship is great, have amazing friends...life is in a really good place for me.

 

I post in various forums here. I am intrigued by some of the topics and to be fair, shocked at how some people think/act (same way I feel at the airport too!). To each their own. We all have views and opinions and if we didn't, there would be no need for these types of online communities.

 

You don't know me enough to decide if I would be open to different views..that's you making a judgement because I am not into being in an affair. I believe in love and respecting my partner. I dont believe someone just "oops" into an affair. I find it sad that so many women/men lower their standards (and for some, this morales) and engage in affairs. To each their own tho. When asked for opinions or thoughts, I replied. No more, no less.

 

There are many people here who aren't into being in an affair (including myself). In all honesty, it is the generalizations and judgments about groups of people as a whole that differ from the posts of those other people who feel the same way as you do - this has been my observation and my opinion. (And yes, I know your post wasn't directed at me, but I just wanted to respectfully make that point since my post more or less started this).