Girl in gym.... Part II

[bohica]

The girl in the gym who I've been interested in getting to know now seems to be giving me the cold shoulder.

 

I started talking a little bit, being friendly and when I saw her outside (getting out of her car, etc..) talked a little bit more then inside the gym. I keep low key in the gym and don't want to give too much attention or talk to her too much. A lot of guys talk to her and she friends with her trainer (shocker)...

 

We have mutual friends on facebook and through a mutual friends post (to which we both replied) I noticed her and I saw she like an artist I am familiar with. I thought it was a good opportunity to say something outside the gym. I sent her a note that read, 'Hi, I see you like this artist. Really cool. I love there work too. How are you.....blah blah.

I felt weird doing it but what the hell.

 

It turns out that if your not friends with someone they don't get the message. I saw her getting out of her car at the gym a couple of weeks ago and I told her, hey I saw you on FB and that you liked so and so and I sent you a message to which she said...'oh, I have a lot of FB privacy settings. You should have just send me a friend request'

I was surprised to hear that. I wouldn't typically just send a friend requests to someone. Anyway, a few days later against my better judgment I did just that, I send a friend request. I just started thinking that this girl isn't interested in me so why not. It's harmless if there isn't any expectations and maybe creating dialog will lead to more dialog and possible interest.

 

I've seen her twice since that and she doesn't even look my way anymore. I saw her today and her eyes just go right past me. I'd much rather have not sent the request and would much rather get to know her outside of FB but now I feel I made her uncomfortable and made myself look like a creep.

 

Any idea on how to handle it? Any suggestions from women? Should I quietly ask her at the gym if I made her uneasy? Should I just ignore her right back? Weird because she did say you should have sent me a friend request.

 

I actually feel uncomfortable now and am thinking of changing my gym times.

 

Thoughts????

Edited April 9, 2014 by bohica

[Hello_is_it_me]

Just keep it friendly and say "hi" at the gym. Nothing more than that. It sounds as if she was creeped out. Maybe just cool the convo's for the moment to make her more comfortable.

[scorpiogirl]

Just keep it friendly and say "hi" at the gym. Nothing more than that. It sounds as if she was creeped out. Maybe just cool the convo's for the moment to make her more comfortable.

 

I agree with just saying hello or a smile with a "hey" or something like that. I'm not sure why she'd be creeped out though. She may just not be interested so show her you can still be friendly and mature.

 

No need to change gyms. You've done nothing wrong. I think you picked a good opener with the fb comment leading to a message. Just go and workout and say hi if you see each other. That's it.

[bohica]

Just keep it friendly and say "hi" at the gym. Nothing more than that. It sounds as if she was creeped out. Maybe just cool the convo's for the moment to make her more comfortable.

 

I agree but its tough to say hi when it seems she isn't looking my way. It would be weird to go over and say something or to try and get her attention but at the same time weird for me not to say anything anymore.

 

I guess I'll just say something if she looks my way or walks past.

[bohica]

 

No need to change gyms.

 

 

I didn't say change gyms...that's extreme. lol. I said change gym times..

[scorpiogirl]

I didn't say change gyms...that's extreme. lol. I said change gym times..

 

Sorry yea I mistyped.

[radiodarcy]

I agree but its tough to say hi when it seems she isn't looking my way. It would be weird to go over and say something or to try and get her attention but at the same time weird for me not to say anything anymore.

 

I guess I'll just say something if she looks my way or walks past.

 

That works.

 

I agree with scorpiogirl - - no need to change gym times. I would just act like the conversation never happened and carry on as usual. At least she knows your interested, if she wants to approach you, she will. If not - - at least you tried...

[bohica]

Thanks everyone.

 

I do feel a little uncomfortable now but what the hell. Like radiodarcy said, i'll just act like the conversation never happened. I'll just be polite and if she looks my way say hello.

 

I actually just found out she is a little younger then me, 12yrs so I'm not going to press it at all. Thought we had a connection but maybe it was just her being polite and friendly.

[radiodarcy]

Thanks everyone.

 

I do feel a little uncomfortable now but what the hell. Like radiodarcy said, i'll just act like the conversation never happened. I'll just be polite and if she looks my way say hello.

 

I actually just found out she is a little younger then me, 12yrs so I'm not going to press it at all. Thought we had a connection but maybe it was just her being polite and friendly.

 

That's completely understandable. These mishaps may not seem like much when they happen to someone else but when it happens to you personally, it can take a while to live down.

 

Case in point: I finally got up the nerve to sign up for sessions with a personal trainer I had been crushing on for over a year. He was a little flirty but for the most part kept things business like.

 

One day I noticed him peeking into a group fitness class I was taking. So during my session with him a few days later I teasingly said, "I saw you spying on me during total conditioning the other day"

 

He was quick to let me know it was his girlfriend he was looking in on, not me .

 

Needless to say, the sessions after that were a bit awkward. But I just reminded myself, I took the chance and now I knew where I stood. As far as I was concerned it was a small price to pay (let's just say I'm well acquainted with rejection) rather than wondering what if...