atlg8r Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 My fiance and I are expecting a baby in September. While I would love to do a small ceremony with friends and family, for many reasons, it doesn't seem feasible. We want to get married sooner rather than later, I have not been feeling great (nausea and headaches from pregnancy), and he has to work a lot of weekends. Further, I am moving into his house before my lease ends at the end of this month. Several family and friends have mentioned invites to the wedding. What is an appropriate and respectful way of notifying our family and friends that we plan to just get married privately, within the next couple of weeks, at our local courthouse? I thought of sending a cute email notification letting them know that while we would love them to be present, given current circumstances, we've decided a private ceremony is easiest and we hope they can celebrate with us at a later time. Anyone else have input or ideas on a good way to approach this? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 You say nothing. You go forward with your plan & get married in the small private ceremony including who you want there & excluding every one else. After you get married, you tell people you got married in an intimate family only ceremony due to the baby. Telling them in advance that they didn't make the cut seems unusually mean. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author atlg8r Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 Well, we aren't planning to have ANYONE there, and some of the people who've asked are my aunt/grandma/cousin who I'm pretty close to. I guess we could just do it and notify them afterward, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 ^^^^ exactly what d0nnivain said Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Send marriage announcements...up to you as to before or after, might be best for you to do before. Can you pick a future date in which you'd like to celebrate with your family? Announce the marriage and a prospective date in which you'd like to have a celebration/reception. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials and your impending birth. I hope you and your soon to be husband will be very happy. My etiquette savvy wife says with a baby on the way, due to morning sickness and time constraints, it is proper to have a private ceremony and then send marriage announcements to those who are nearest and dearest to you. You really owe no one an explanation but if they ask you can tell them what you told us. Best wishes, Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Well, we aren't planning to have ANYONE there, and some of the people who've asked are my aunt/grandma/cousin who I'm pretty close to. I guess we could just do it and notify them afterward, though. That's how I got married...just me and the Mr. We got married in Jamaica though, so that made it easy to say "this is what we're doing, we'll have a party when we get back to celebrate then". Only one person (FIL) had a problem with it, but he got over it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author atlg8r Posted April 10, 2014 Author Share Posted April 10, 2014 Thanks everyone! I think we did decide to do marriage announcements following the private ceremony (just the two of us). I may send a text or email to the one person closest to me who'd particularly asked about a date. Otherwise, it seems more like we are "eloping" and can just notify everyone later on! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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