mortensorchid Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 I would like to hear a positive thing about him. Even if it's the fact that he brushes his teeth three times a day or something. Honestly, too crazy. Move on.
MissBee Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Divorced dad. Says that he beat up a 19 year old boy who was after his daughter... And also that he punched a guy who was having an affair with his wife ... And checked himself into hospital during divorce because he was suicidal. Obviously there is a lot great about him.., but those things stuck out to me. They were years ago.. No record. No. It's one thing for this to be admitted much later after we're dating within the context of some kind of heart to heart and where it is clear that these are resolved past issues...but if I'm just getting to know a guy and in that short period/first conversation he brings up: battery, anger issues, mental health issues etc...suffice it to say, it is not making him look like a healthy partner for me to be with and I absolutely would NOT date such a man. Mommane, gently, I really wonder about you and what you value in a partner. It seems all your posts about your dating features these men that you try to convince yourself are "great" who seem clearly troubled and where you don't seem to have good judgment or your own sense of what is a dealbreaker or not. I worry for you. Things that seem like no brainers to many people you seem to actually spend time considering as though they are viable prospects and it seems you give over a lot of your power to loserish men...like some real bottom of the barrel type guys. For your sake, I think it's worth it to stop worrying about giving losers a chance and figuring out what you look for in a man and compiling a list of your own dealbreakers and values and stick to it while dating...as right now it seems you have none and everything is negotiable. Edited April 9, 2014 by MissBee 3
bubbaganoosh Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Trying to make an impression is the impression that you make and this guy didn't really do a good job. I once had to give the bums rush to a kid who took my daughter out and when he brought her back late and I mentioned it, his response was "Cool it Pop". Well the front door was still open and I had a collar and the back of his pants and out he went. I never bragged about it and he never came back either. 1
ThatMan Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Mommane, gently, I really wonder about you and what you value in a partner. It seems all your posts about your dating features these men that you try to convince yourself are "great" who seem clearly troubled and where you don't seem to have good judgment or your own sense of what is a dealbreaker or not. I worry for you. Things that seem like no brainers to many people you seem to actually spend time considering as though they are viable prospects and it seems you give over a lot of your power to loserish men...like some real bottom of the barrel type guys. For your sake, I think it's worth it to stop worrying about giving losers a chance and figuring out what you look for in a man and compiling a list of your own dealbreakers and values and stick to it while dating...as right now it seems you have none and everything is negotiable. Common deal breakers being negotiable? I'm a bit hesitating to take things even further... Possessing...A) Violent inclinations. B) Issues with rage. c) Severe mental health problems. ... There certainly seems to be a lot of drama and excitement. Maybe this excitement is alluring? What would happen if you dated normal people? That'll be boring, right? Why settle when you can have excitement? Let's purposefully spend a lot of time pondering being around all of this dysfunction. There's something drawing you to these people. Most wouldn't nearly sleep with a man after meeting him and he spills all his guts about violence, anger management problems, or being thrown in the loony bin. These are exactly the sort of people who would violate all of your personal boundaries by forcibly inserting himself into your daily life and class. Meanwhile you've actively defending them by making excuses. Oh, he says the authorities didn't help him. I'm not sure if that makes it okay to wail on a teenager. I guess it might be okay. I really don't know. Oh, he texted me while alseep. There's clearly nothing suspicious about that at all. Are you going to be that woman who makes excuses when a man explodes and rages at her? I don't think I like the sound of where this is going... Edited April 9, 2014 by ThatMan
Author Mommame2 Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 So I have continued to ignore the guy who punched the 19 year olds and his former wife's emotional affair dude. After the accidental "sleep text" about how he lives to make love.. Slowly... I was over it. So today I have received several texts. Long. Apologizing. Then an email in the OLD account. And tonight... I got a picture of him holding a paper sign saying "please baby forgive me!" He says he did nothing wrong. It was misunderstanding etc. I obviously didn't reply. But boy did I laugh. He held a paper SIGN!!!! Is that crazy or WHAT?!? Lunatic!!!
TheNextLawyer Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 So I have continued to ignore the guy who punched the 19 year olds and his former wife's emotional affair dude. After the accidental "sleep text" about how he lives to make love.. Slowly... I was over it. So today I have received several texts. Long. Apologizing. Then an email in the OLD account. And tonight... I got a picture of him holding a paper sign saying "please baby forgive me!" He says he did nothing wrong. It was misunderstanding etc. I obviously didn't reply. But boy did I laugh. He held a paper SIGN!!!! Is that crazy or WHAT?!? Lunatic!!! And so the superiority complex is plain for all to see.
Author Mommame2 Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Well he says he doesn't beg but that he just found something "irresistible" about me. He has never met me. He's just begging for a coffee meeting. I almost feel like saying yes... Then saying oh sorry, that text was for the wrong person.
blueskyday Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Wow! You've never met and he calls you Baby? Yikes. And writes it on an apology note to hold up to the camera? This alone is creepy, not to mention the field of red flags blowing in 100 mph winds! Run. Never date a guy with a violent background unless he is truly sorry and it is a clearly isolated incident that has been resolved and learned from. Even then, watch it.
MidwestUSA Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Well he says he doesn't beg but that he just found something "irresistible" about me. He has never met me. He's just begging for a coffee meeting. I almost feel like saying yes... Then saying oh sorry, that text was for the wrong person. DO NOT engage! No! You are your own worst enemy. 1
ThatMan Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 (edited) I almost feel like saying yes... Then saying oh sorry, that text was for the wrong person. This is exactly what I'm talking about. You seem to be lured in by drama while avoiding the sane ones. You invent drama, so you clearly get something out of it. Some people just don't get it and live in constant chaos. We're not equipped to help somebody address this sort of worldview. Only professionals can help you live differently. I don't know if you even want to make these sort of changes. Edited April 10, 2014 by ThatMan 1
Author Mommame2 Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 I was joking... I did not contact him again. However he had continued to text. And also send pics of him with his kids. I am not responding.
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