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does he want me or just lying?

liove

By liove
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liove Established Member

liove

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hello everyone,

Firstly, I would like to tell you that I'm kind of paranoia sometimes and I tend to analyse too much.

Anyway, here is my story:

I went a on a date with a guy that I really like and it was nice, not perfect (it can never be perfect) but very nice, we changed places and we were together for several hours, until almost 3 am in the morning and he still wanted to go somewhere else and be with me but I ended it cos I was really tired.

After several hours, he kissed, very passionate also and many times, and after we left, he was holding my hands all the way until I got in a taxi. I told him that I am shy and shouldnt move too fast with me but that i like it anyway.

He complimented me many times and he was very well-off in my company.

I sent him a short SMS when i reached home just to thank him et tell him that I arrived safely. He replies to me with an even longer SMS to tell me that it was a very enjoyable night indeed, but I did not reply.

Then, he sent me an SMS in the evening, 2 days after in which he told me that everytime hes thinking about his days recently, the moment spent with me was the best. he wished me a good evening and gave me a lot of kisses. I replied, of course.

 

 

Since then, no other signs or calls and I am dying to see him again. it's been almost 2 days since his last text. (i know, it's not a lot but I really liked him and i freak out very quickly)

 

Should I worry? I mean, I really start to think that he is not at all interested and he is just playing (even though he doesnt seem that kind of guy).

What do you think?

Or maybe he is just busy and I shouldn't worry? Is he waiting maybe for my call?!

What should I do next? How much should I wait?

Or should I just let it go?

Thank you for your help and advice.

Edited by liove
mikefromtheblock Member

mikefromtheblock

Posted
Posted
Hello everyone,

Firstly, I would like to tell you that I'm kind of paranoia sometimes and I tend to analyse too much.

Anyway, here is my story:

I went a on a date with a guy that I really like and it was nice, not perfect (it can never be perfect) but very nice, we changed places and we were together for several hours, until almost 3 am in the morning and he still wanted to go somewhere else and be with me but I ended it cos I was really tired.

After several hours, he kissed, very passionate also and many times, and after we left, he was holding my hands all the way until I got in a taxi. I told him that I am shy and shouldnt move too fast with me but that i like it anyway.

He complimented me many times and he was very well-off in my company.

I sent him a short SMS when i reached home just to thank him et tell him that I arrived safely. He replies to me with an even longer SMS to tell me that it was a very enjoyable night indeed, but I did not reply.

Then, he sent me an SMS in the evening, 2 days after in which he told me that everytime hes thinking about his days recently, the moment spent with me was the best. he wished me a good evening and gave me a lot of kisses. I replied, of course.

 

 

Since then, no other signs or calls and I am dying to see him again. it's been almost 2 days since his last text. (i know, it's not a lot but I really liked him and i freak out very quickly)

 

Should I worry? I mean, I really start to think that he is not at all interested and he is just playing (even though he doesnt seem that kind of guy).

What do you think?

Or maybe he is just busy and I shouldn't worry? Is he waiting maybe for my call?!

What should I do next? How much should I wait?

Or should I just let it go?

Thank you for your help and advice.

 

The answer lies in your post.

 

Why you people make life so complicated. It's not. Don't over-analyze it.

 

If you want something - ask for it.

If you don't like something - express it.

If you want to be somewhere - go for it.

 

Take action and text him. Ask him out, tell what you want to tell him.

 

And don't waste your time with people who don't appreciate you. Be yourself. Because by being yourself you will attract people who like you just the way you are.

  • Like 2
PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted

Why don't you just ask him and find out?

  • Author
liove Established Member

liove

Posted
  • Author
Posted

...I wont be a challenge anymore and because I would look desperate if i ask him: "actually, do you like me or not?" and once again, he could just take advantage of the situation and even though he doesnt like me, just to get me in bed he could say "of course i like you" :)

i can wait, no problem, I just want to know whether I am paranoia or i should worry and let it go...

martaldn Established Member

martaldn

Posted
Posted

I would wait another couple of days.. then send a text asking him if he fancy to grab something to eat together or a drink and see if he replies.

if he doesnt just leave it be.

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

Posted
Posted

Will u just text him woman!! lol x

  • Like 1
Mrin Established Member

Mrin

Posted
Posted

Ya seriously. If i am always initiating contact early on and she's not, then I usually fade out. It needs to be a joint effort.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
...I wont be a challenge anymore and because I would look desperate if i ask him: "actually, do you like me or not?" and once again, he could just take advantage of the situation and even though he doesnt like me, just to get me in bed he could say "of course i like you" :)

i can wait, no problem, I just want to know whether I am paranoia or i should worry and let it go...

No one told you to ask him that !! He reached out to you twice now it's your turn to text him hello! That's it !! Just hello how you're doing? That does not make you look clingny or too available, makes you a nice person that enjoys talking to him.
Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
...I wont be a challenge anymore and because I would look desperate if i ask him: "actually, do you like me or not?" and once again, he could just take advantage of the situation and even though he doesnt like me, just to get me in bed he could say "of course i like you" :)

i can wait, no problem, I just want to know whether I am paranoia or i should worry and let it go...

 

Yes, you would look desperate if you texted him that. No one is telling you to text him asking if he likes you!!! Text him about maybe grabbing something to eat or going for a drink or coffee at the park.

 

But you have to reciprocate contact if you want it to progress. You have to understand that if he is not getting communication from you he may think you are not interested.

  • Like 1
PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted

^ Exactly. Don't text him "do you like me?"... text him "wanna go watch Divergent on friday and grab a drink after?"

 

If you don't want to let him into your pants then don't. If he's just after that then he'll soon reveal himself. Err metaphorically I mean...

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liove Established Member

liove

Posted
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...i wouldnt have asked him like that, come on guys!! i'm not stupid :))

 

but i cannot ask him out, i just cant...i never ask guys out

he did not reach me twice, i never said that. He was the one initiating the kiss and the last text but never told me or made it clear that he would like to see me again :) .if i send him a text to ask him if he want to go somewhere, he might think i am desperate

also, he is not very available when i send him texts so asking him how is he, wont work

dunno what to do, i will wait maybe...

TheNewMe2014 Established Member

TheNewMe2014

Posted
Posted

I hate this crap...stop playing games..talk to him. Otherwise you will lose him.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
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...i wouldnt have asked him like that, come on guys!! i'm not stupid :))

 

but i cannot ask him out, i just cant...i never ask guys out

he did not reach me twice, i never said that. He was the one initiating the kiss and the last text but never told me or made it clear that he would like to see me again :) .if i send him a text to ask him if he want to go somewhere, he might think i am desperate

also, he is not very available when i send him texts so asking him how is he, wont work

dunno what to do, i will wait maybe...

OMG, if you send him a text asking if he wants to do something it only means you are a single woman looking to date!!!

 

Do you know the difference between looking interested and looking cligny?

 

Do you know men also need a little cue here and there that we are interested?

 

If you don't want to invite him then just text hello how are you, that will show you are interested in him and it will give him the opportunity to come up with an invitation.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
...i wouldnt have asked him like that, come on guys!! i'm not stupid :))

 

but i cannot ask him out, i just cant...i never ask guys out

he did not reach me twice, i never said that. He was the one initiating the kiss and the last text but never told me or made it clear that he would like to see me again :) .if i send him a text to ask him if he want to go somewhere, he might think i am desperate

also, he is not very available when i send him texts so asking him how is he, wont work

dunno what to do, i will wait maybe...

 

You sound like my mother. Don't ask a man out. Don't call a guy first. Don't kiss a guy until he proposes marriage.

 

OP, as Gaeta mentioned. Know the difference between looking desperate and showing interest.

 

You're really in no position to date if you're so insecure with yourself. And it's showing. Men like confident women. It's about being confident to put yourself out there and being smart about getting what you want. None of this meek and timid nature.

 

And no need to tell a guy you are shy and you want to go slow. YOU have the power to control the pace without having to reveal such information about yourself. I say this because you want to be careful not to reveal your vulnerabilities so soon because there are men that will prey on that.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted
but i cannot ask him out, i just cant...i never ask guys out

Why not?

What you're doing obviously is not working for you, otherwise you wouldn't be on an internet forum asking strangers for help.

You can either carry on with something that is making you unhappy, or try something new for once.

Up to you...

  • Author
liove Established Member

liove

Posted
  • Author
Posted

...all right! i know that i have to stand for what I want but i am too afraid of rejection so yeah i'm quite insecure about myself

ok, i need to think a little bit more about that...

 

i always think that if i show interest to guys, they might lose it and viceversa

i always acted like that and always had what i wanted with this strategy

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liove Established Member

liove

Posted
  • Author
Posted

...the reason why i wrote this on the internet is to try to understand the man's psychology...

i dont date much coz i just got out from a messy relationship so i am not expert in dating and I do not know whether a guy is interested or not

thats why i gave you the details to help me understand/analyze whether he is interested so i can show him my interest as well or NOT interested so i can let it go...that was my question actually even though is difficult for me to make it clear!

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
...all right! i know that i have to stand for what I want but i am too afraid of rejection so yeah i'm quite insecure about myself

ok, i need to think a little bit more about that...

 

i always think that if i show interest to guys, they might lose it and viceversa

i always acted like that and always had what i wanted with this strategy

So? You show a guy you are interested and he's not reciprocating, then what? You don't know him, he's not part of your life, the fact he rejects you is not going to change anything about you, your life, your qualities, the bills you need to pay, and the job you need to show up at.

 

It's life, you live it for all it's worth or you stay home but if you do stay home you can't complain you never got to experience life and its great love. You will have to face rejection in every aspect of your life, not only dating so get in the game and start living.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
...the reason why i wrote this on the internet is to try to understand the man's psychology...

i dont date much coz i just got out from a messy relationship so i am not expert in dating and I do not know whether a guy is interested or not

thats why i gave you the details to help me understand/analyze whether he is interested so i can show him my interest as well or NOT interested so i can let it go...that was my question actually even though is difficult for me to make it clear!

We can share our experience with you BUT you still need to get out there and learn it in the field. I was married since age of 20, I started dating at 40 years old. Anyone would think that at my age I would know how to do this, but no, I didn't. I've listened everyone giving me advice but I still went out there and learn the hard way by making mistakes, falling, getting up, and getting back on the saddle. You cannot avoid it.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
...the reason why i wrote this on the internet is to try to understand the man's psychology...

i dont date much coz i just got out from a messy relationship so i am not expert in dating and I do not know whether a guy is interested or not

thats why i gave you the details to help me understand/analyze whether he is interested so i can show him my interest as well or NOT interested so i can let it go...that was my question actually even though is difficult for me to make it clear!

 

Liove, after my divorce, I was so afraid to go out and date. I was afraid of being rejected again. I was afraid of getting hurt. But I'd whine and moan about never ever meeting a man that will give me what I wanted. My grandmother used to say, "You can't keep sitting on your couch on a Saturday night and hope that he comes knocking on your door." You have to go out there and brave yourself for whatever comes.

 

I was married in my early twenties, divorced in my thirties and now single in my forties. I'm not dating because I don't feel the need to and I'm fine being single. Can you imagine how many times I have fallen flat, dragged down, beaten up from men that have rejected me. And I too have rejected men. It's called life. It's not going to be perfect and rosy and it's not going to all fall into place. My gf is in her 50s now and she's never had a happy relationship in her life. But guess what, after all the pain she's been through, she's now met a man that adores her.

 

Truth is, you are going to get rejected in life. But that doesn't determine your value or your worth. The only person that determines that is you. So, if a guy rejects you, so what? He's just a guy. Yeah, your ego will be bruised but you'll get over it. It happens to all of us. You're no exception.

 

And if you feel insecure, and you just got out of a messy relationship, maybe you should take a break and get your confidence back. Sometimes when you're vulnerable and unsure you tend to attract more issues into your life.

  • Like 1
  • Author
liove Established Member

liove

Posted
  • Author
Posted

you all talking like HE is going to reject me? :))

 

it's been already several months since i've broken up with my ex, and knowing myself i will need a lifetime to get back to my feet.

i am used to reject a lot of guys because i am quite attractive and smart and never been in the situation of being rejected (maybe once or twice in highschool)

This guy I really like not just because its chemistry but because i think its a future because is the kind of relationship that we might describe as "destiny's act", seen the way we met each other ("sit home and knock at my door" type) and I do not want to spoil anything, that is why i prefer taking small steps or just let him do everything. I already think i did a lot of mistakes on the first date and I hate and criticise myself for this, everytime i think about it and maybe he did not even notice but i am too critic with myself

 

i've never been rejected, or if i was, it wasnt for someone that I care, that is why i am afraid but you are both right i will wait several days and then maybe send him a text

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted

No, you said you had a fear of being rejected and that you are quite insecure with yourself and that is why we responded to those thoughts.

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liove Established Member

liove

Posted
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...pathetic, do you guys think he is interested after all that i've told you and all the actions he took?! i think that you have quite an experience with marriages and stuff, so maybe you can also give your advice on this one

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
...pathetic, do you guys think he is interested after all that i've told you and all the actions he took?! i think that you have quite an experience with marriages and stuff, so maybe you can also give your advice on this one

 

He seems interested. But you're never going to know the extent of it if you do not reciprocate. You have to take risks.

 

There's nothing wrong with sending a text and suggesting having a drink or grabbing a bite. What's the worse that can happen? He says no. You won't die. He says yes. Great.

  • Author
liove Established Member

liove

Posted
  • Author
Posted
He seems interested. But you're never going to know the extent of it if you do not reciprocate. You have to take risks.

 

There's nothing wrong with sending a text and suggesting having a drink or grabbing a bite. What's the worse that can happen? He says no. You won't die. He says yes. Great.

 

i wont definitely ask him out or suggest having a drink but i will send him maybe

a text in which i will show him i'm interested .. if he asks me out great, if not, i let it go :)

thank for your help anyway do not heistate if you have other ideas :)

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