Ex says she is sorry constantly, I still want it, is there a chance?

[dakeeper]

Here's the long story as condensed as I could make it.

 

Me and my ex, K, were together for 6 or so months. Until last week or so, we were really happy with each other. However, I did get slightly jealous, and I have a tendency to push people away when they do that to me. However, doing that caused K to pull away to, and last Friday I talked to her about it (today is Monday). I asked her what she saw for the relationship, she said "I don't know" (previously, she talked about how I was gonna last the summer without her around and stuff).

 

I got slightly jealous that she almost always hung out with her friends, which I encouraged her to do since I previously wasn't planning on staying with her over the summer and wanted her to have people to depend on when I did break up. Upon realizing I was jealous, I also realized at that point that I had developed feelings for her that were stronger than before. I noticed that we were actually very distant at this point.

 

I told her about the whole "not interested in her until now" thing. I also asked if she wanted to continue the relationship and try to make it better. She said yes. Later that night I got drunk and casually texted her, eventually leading me to ask her again and again if she really did want the relationship. She eventually said no, that it was over, and I asked for a chance to talk it over in person.

 

On Saturday morning, I asked K for a second chance, which she agreed to, and we hung out for 6 or so hours. When we came back she hung out with her friends until she came over to sleep in my bed.

 

Come Sunday morning, she said she would hang out with me later, but her friends convinced her to hang out with them. I took her out to dinner, which was cordial. When we came back I asked her again what she thought about the relationship, and she said she didn't think it would work out and we should just end it. I tried to convince her otherwise, and eventually I ended up making her cry. She was adamant about ending it. I asked her to think about it for a week and giving me a final decision, which she later agreed to.

 

There were several points that she kept repeating while she cried:

1. She was sorry that she did this to me

2. She was very happy to be with me when our relationship was going well

3. It would be worth it if we can go back to when we were happy

4. When we hung out on Saturday she thought it was forced and we wouldn't work it out

5. Her reason for not giving me another chance is because of reason 4, she didn't want it to end later and have it hurt even more

 

She left crying. I texted her, saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry I tried to convince you to stay with me while you were so emotional, please think about it for a week and give me a final decision. I won't try to change your mind."

 

Since then I haven't contacted her. An hour after she ran out of my room she deleted our relationship status on Facebook.

 

This morning (roughly a day after all that happened) I received a text from her, again apologizing for what she did to me. She also said she would see what the end of the week brings. I replied "Okay," and she said again that she was sorry.

 

While we were happy with each other we never fought (neither of us are like that), and we generally just really enjoyed each other's company.

 

My question is, is there a chance that she wants it to continue, or is she just sorry that she broke up with me, but isn't interested in me any more? She has said repeatedly that she feels like a dick and that she is sorry for what she has done, which makes it seem to me like the relationship is over. She told me that she was actually being honest, and I wouldn't have reason to doubt her, about point number 5, which doesn't make sense to me. Either I'm not worth it enough for her to take the chance, which would refute point 3, or she really is that scared of breaking up again.

 

I don't understand her reasoning, though. If she isn't just using 5 as an excuse to break up with me because she doesn't feel anything toward me anymore, why would she think we can't be happy together again? We reached it at one point, does she not think we can do it again?

Edited April 8, 2014 by dakeeper

[dakeeper]

Yeah, I guess it is evident we are both pretty young. I'm 19 and she will be 19 soon.

 

I talked to a friend today who recommended, after I gave him a more thorough view of everything, that I give the relationship up for good since it won't be good for me, even if she does say yes to giving me another chance.

 

I'm honestly not sure whether I want the relationship to continue because this was my first or if because we really can be together, and I can't really explain the second part enough for someone to give a good opinion.

 

If she says yes and I still feel this in a week (of wanting the relationship), I will bring up the topic of communication in the relationship. If she says no I plan on cutting off contact with her.

Edited April 8, 2014 by dakeeper

[dakeeper]

I'll try to put that in mind, thanks. It really did help.

[yang2k4]

George Bernard Shaw, that great Irish literary genius, once wrote,

 

"Youth is wasted on the Young". (No, it wasn't Robbie Williams.....)

 

What he meant was that, this is a time of your life where you should be enjoying the opportunities life affords you, to be carefree, adventurous and enthusiastic about even breathing fresh spring air every morning.

 

Such hang-ups and anxieties about the whys and wherefores regarding the hearts and minds of others, should be shelved and pondered when (forgive me) you reach a suitable age of maturity with which to cope in such circumstances.

 

in brief - you're too young to be losing sleep over this mess. It's not a crisis, it's just part of progress.

 

Life lies ahead of you.... A time full of opportunity, an horizon with such potential.

 

do you really want to waste time pondering this dilemma?

I guarantee in a year's time, it will be completely inconsequential....

 

 

Put it aside.

Ignore the drama and enjoy your life.

 

What she does is up to her.

You are young, and apparently, according to some, not even "fully-cooked" yet.

 

Don't burn up and ruin the casserole before you've even added the tomatoes.... if you get my metaphor....

 

i'm 26 and this do feel true. I guess one eventually accept to not overcomplicate stuff. If its gonna work it will work. Love simply doesn't fade away. True love I mean. If you are meant life will come around

[dakeeper]

I think part of the reason I want the relationship to last is that I actually don't have anyone else that I'm close to. Both my parents are distant (haven't talked to my father in half a year, haven't talked to my mother in weeks). My siblings are 9 and 10 years older than me and the opposite gender, and I've never actually felt a connection with them. K was the first one I've ever connected to. I do believe that would cause this to hurt a bit more.

 

As far as my friends go, to be honest I've never had a best friend or anything of the sort. I talk to as many people as I can and I can call a lot of people "friends," and truly they'd be happy to hang out with me, but there is no one of either gender (besides her when we were in a relationship) I truly feel close to.

 

I did try and go out and have fun and not think about her earlier today, and it did work, but now that its late at night and I'm all alone thinking this it all came rushing back.

Edited April 8, 2014 by dakeeper