FaithInTheDark Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I've been hanging out with my hook up the past month. But I tend to over analyze things and did feel unsure about how he felt. So this weekend I asked if he wanted to hang out and he agreed but last min he didn't pick up his phone and I felt pretty hurt but decided to go out that night anyway. I left a message saying to have a good night and was going to write him off. I ran into him at the bar that night and he took me aside and said he missed my call and was trying to call me and wanted to see me. He was sincere about it and I saw two missed calls fm him. So we left the bar and went to his house to hang out. We had a open discussion about how he wasn't used to girls being interested in him , and I told him that I unsure about how he's been feeling . We agreed text message is not a good way to talk and how I need to stop concluding the worst. A couple days later I asked if he wanted to watch a movie and I went over to his house , after the movie I went home. He talked about future plans and told me to call him. Most of the times we've hung out it's been me being the one reaching out and asking him. I'm wondering how I can make a man make more of a effort. I'm the type of girl that needs to feel secure about his intentions I think he does like me but know it's the mans job to do that. I think he's just clueless about women. Any advice
Eivuwan Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Well, why not just say that you would appreciate it if he does some of the activity planning? I personally don't think it's the man's job to chase. You can only let him know what you would like and see how he responds. He can't read your mind especially since he might be clueless about women.
tbf Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 If you want him to put in some effort, you have to stop putting in all the effort. If he isn't as interested as you'd like, he'll wander off. If he's interested, he'll start putting in the effort to see you. Analogous would be to expect a teenager will suddenly and diligently do their own laundry, even if their mother will do their laundry if they don't. 2
Author FaithInTheDark Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 I wouldn't know how to express wanting him to make the effort with planning without sounding desperate. I don't expect him to read my mind but thought he should just do this lol. As for the second comment you're right if I want results ... I need to back off and let him come me.
tekkenfan2 Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Some people aren't used to being the approacher. Just explain to him you would like if he put forth more of an effort to set up stuff. Just be patient, it definitely doesn't seem like he lacks interest. I don't think you should back off right away, especially if he said he isn't used to girls being interested, this may hurt/confuse him. 2
Armegoggon Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I would say if he's agreeing on you to hang out almost every time, then he probably does like you back. Either way, you should ask him out soon and see.
Eivuwan Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I wouldn't know how to express wanting him to make the effort with planning without sounding desperate. I don't expect him to read my mind but thought he should just do this lol. As for the second comment you're right if I want results ... I need to back off and let him come me. Just be like, hey I have planned a lot of activities. I want to see what you have in mind.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 (edited) You make a valid point about some ppl aren't used to being the approacher and that makes sense with him . I guess females are always taught to let the guy come to you and not to come off as too clingy. But yes I def see your point if I suddenly back off that would confuse him. Edited April 8, 2014 by FaithInTheDark
Author FaithInTheDark Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 I would say if he's agreeing on you to hang out almost every time, then he probably does like you back. Either way, you should ask him out soon and see. I'm not sure what you mean as in ask him out soon and see?
Arieswoman Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I may be a bit slow off the mark here, but's what's all this "hanging out" business? Don't people go on dates any more ??
Author FaithInTheDark Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 I'd love to go out on a date with him lol I had already brought him to a concert with me and my friends. I just feel weird always being the one making plans.it also makes me feel unclear about things. Next weekend I'm going to be house sitting and I'm gonna ask him if he wants to spend the night with me. Or I might ask what he's up too and just say " I'm free to hang out but I kind of feel the one always making the plans, if you have something in mind we could do , let me know" Would that be direct enough? Thanks for helping me, I feel better after you guys helping.
tekkenfan2 Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Well if you say that then he may suggest going somewhere and you would just have to be like oh well I'm house sitting. Invitie him over and you can talk to him about it when he comes over, just be sure to not turn it into a fight. Just be like you want him to take more interest in setting up where and when you guys chill.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Last night he invited me over, and I'm pretty disappointed with the way he acted. He was quite drunk and was paying more attention to playing video games/himself/ and this music. I expressed how distant I felt and even tried to get his attention by kissing him. Our conversation steered into a direction where he became kind of rude and I was defending myself. Some ackwArd moments were there and I just left his house. I text him today but no response ... I'm so not impressed but don't want to write him off by his drunken act. I want to let him know I won't put up with crap but communicate how he acted last night. Do you think I'd be okay to call him out on this?
TXGuy Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 (edited) I text him today but no response ... I'm so not impressed but don't want to write him off by his drunken act. I want to let him know I won't put up with crap but communicate how he acted last night. Do you think I'd be okay to call him out on this? I think you have to wait for him to try to go back to you before you call him out. Edited April 10, 2014 by TXGuy
bluegreen Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Sweet words are dime a dozen simple as that and anyone can spout them off. Watch what he does NEVER what he is trying to bulls...t you with and pretty much you won't need to ask this question again.
tbf Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 So. How's it going by doing all the work? Any improvement in his behavior?
Author FaithInTheDark Posted April 10, 2014 Author Posted April 10, 2014 Yup, I get it... I'm going to start worrying about myself .. If he talks to me about it then well see but wow he's got a immature side I want nothing to do with
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