It's Definitely Over

[firsttracks]

This girl I've posted about a few times. Dated consistently for 2 months and she just got cold and distant the past few weeks. She's been avoiding me, I know and she's been a huge bitch the last two times I saw her. She blew me off for 3 days about plans and then the day before said she can't hang out and she's sorry she didn't get back to me sooner. I didn't respond to that and she text a few days later seeing if I'd like to grab a drink and also she has the top for my thermos. I text her and said we could get together and she asked if I was being sarcastic. I said no I really want to hang out. She said she'd let me know when she's not so busy.

 

So Sat I went snowboarding and we stopped by her bar for a couple drinks. Before I was about to do that another time but didn't and after asked her if that would've been cool and she said yeah just stop by or let me know ahead of time. So I text her, she didn't respond, we just stopped by my buddy is a local there. She was a jerk and cold to me the entire time and not interested didn't even say hi or goodbye or ask how I was. It made me feel like ****, I've treated this girl so well.

 

The sad thing is I got taken advantage of and let her take advantage of me. I can directly relate this shift in her behavior to me not having sex with her the night she wanted to. I wanted to and was patient for 2 months and then one night she bought over a bottle of whiskey and we messed around and she wanted to have sex. I really wanted to with her it would've been awesome but I was so stressed out from another issue the day before I got zero sleep that night. Of course, just my luck. My brother said if we had sex that night she'd probably still be humping with me. Maybe not dating but still humping. So I was trying to date her and be a gentleman, she claimed she wanted to wait because it'd be better. After I didn't she made a couple jokes asking if I'm gay. My brother said she put it out there and probably thinks I have issues because how persistent I was for two months and she put it out there and I didn't take it. I explained to her the situation and tried to hook up the next time we were feeling it but she didn't want to and then we just drifted apart.

 

So I text her today because I'm sick of wondering and said I'd like to get together soon. I made a joke about something we used to laugh about. She said "I'll have to let you know when, but yeah it'll just be for one drink and to give you your thing back. So I'll get ahold of you." I text her and said "Am I missing something?" She said "I don't get what you mean you can call me and we can chat if you want."

 

So I called and she basically said she knows I want a relationship and she never wanted that, she never wanted to go down the road we went down and at this point thinks it's best if we stop texting and talking and no more hanging out. She said she was never really feeling it and it was fun and exciting at first so she rolled with it. So she said I'm a cool guy but asked if I stop thinking about her, texting, and calling and we both just move on. I was an idiot and was like well we were never really official so I don't see why we can't just be friends. She was like no, the drinking, the messing around, it just kind of happened and now that it happened we can't be friends, I mean I'll be nice if I see you in public but we can't be friends.

 

I was calm about it and basically just said I don't get it, but if that's what you want I can respect that I'm not going to argue with you over this or try to convince you. I just don't get it because we went on dates, messed around, and it was your idea to go on a date the day before Valentines and I bought you flowers, you got your haircut, I went down on you afterwards, I call that a date. She said it was mostly just hanging out and she's sorry she was having a good time but didn't feel anything at the time. So I said I'm sorry for pushing her because right away she was clear she just wanted to be friends...and then we started dating and messing around. It just kind of happened, yeah. I did another dumb thing and said I felt this coming, I knew something was off for the past couple weeks did you meet someone or something? She said no she's just busy with school and had a lull when we started hanging out so she had more time. I asked her again about that at one point and she was weird about the answer, didn't really want to answer and just said not that's not it she's just busy. I get the vibe she met someone more aggressive than me who'll have sex with her when she wants. I can't say for sure but I want to say I can 90% hang my hat on that she bailed on me and lost respect because I wanted sex for 2 months and the night she wanted to give it up I asked if she's sure she was ready = she felt rejected and I look like a pussy and she's never been with a guy who'll turn her down, she claims guys sleep with anything and then just leave the next day.

 

So I said I'd like to get a drink and talk more and I can get my thing back we owe it to each other and she said we already talked and she's not sure that's a good idea and not sure when she'd be able to but she'll think about it. She said maybe we could ski next winter a few times but it's not going to be the same and I think we just need time apart. I asked if she'd at least mail my thing she has. She said this was really hard to talk about for her and we should've done it sooner but we needed to squash this thing.

 

She claims guys bail after they hit it. I dated her like a gentleman for two months and she went dark in 3 weeks and then just ended it over a phone call. How is bailing like that any better? Nobody had sex. You played with my emotions. We spent a bunch of money on each other and time getting to know each other. How is that any better than a drunken fling one night and the guy never calling. I've never done that, everyone I've slept with I genuinely like and have no intention on totally bailing on. I feel like this girl expected it and when I persisted she tried to like me and felt guilty and gave it up one night and I wouldn't take it and she got confused as hell and just lost all respect for me.

 

So later this evening I text her and said "Please mail my thing to address address address." That's the last time I'll contact her. I'm glad I got closure but still am a little pissed I allowed myself to be hurt. I allowed myself to be hurt trying to be a gentleman after wanting to **** this girl the first night I saw her. Then I fell for her and liked her and respected her desire to wait which was really an excuse to string me along and have someone to ski with, then she tried to give it up and I was a trainwreck and couldn't and saw relationship potential where there was none and passed on sex and she lost all attraction for me or felt rejected. I'm upset I opened my heart to someone who only wanted to be a friend in the first place and then a **** buddy and I even messed both of those up. I messed up a potential for a friend, relationship, and **** buddy all in one person.

 

Sadly, I honestly think I'd be hanging out with this girl still had I slept with her the night she wanted to. Easy. But I didn't and I'm moving on. I've just passed this up once before and the girl bailed immediately. Sorry I'm a guy and I've turned down sex from two girls I was dating and they both bailed. I wanted to be in good shape for this girl. I'm experienced and confident in my abilities so I was like "it'll eventually happen I don't have to be desperate and when it does she'll be asking for it again right after." I haven't been with a lot of people though, only like 7 and sadly 3 of those are in the last year. But I'm good I know that and I'm upset I didn't get to experience that with this girl when I was totally into her. Now she wants nothing to do with me and that hurts because I put my heart out there after getting trampled on 6 months ago in a similar ****ing situation. At least I was getting some then.