Kaiten Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 I'll keep it as short as possible. I used to go to church a lot. A LOT. Church was my life, actually. in my late teens, when I went to church I found that it was difficult for me to make friends. I didn't get the inside jokes and to be frank, I didn't even like the music. But I continued to go. Didn't want to be a church hopper, plus, the people weren't so bad outside of church. I started warming up to them, but it was on a really superficial level. (as in lunch and the occasional movie outing). As time went on I realized that I wanted to hang around people that were passionate about the things that I was passionate about. But I never went looking for those people, because my church family insisted that they cared so much for me. 3 years later, I found people with like passions. We didn't really hit it off at first, but over time I got to know them better and they turned out to be people that I want to be friends with for the rest of my life. I was still going to church, and we were still doing the same old thing. A movie outing here or there, but mostly lunches after service. During my time at church, I found that no matter what I did or what I said, my church "friends" didn't seem to like me. I never knew why that was. And there were even times where they would hear the exact opposite of what I said. After a while, I discovered that a person in leadership was being very manipulative and was ruining our potential friendships. That discovery changed how I saw those people forever. I realized that some people have their own agenda. And that older people are not necessarily wiser. I stopped going to church altogether and I started hanging out more with the people that share the same passions as me. What happened over the next year really changed my outlook on life. When I went to church, all I ever heard about myself was bad things. "You never finish anything." "You have a long way to go before you can be a leader." "You have to work more if you want a certain level of trust." "People take what you say wrong because you are a bad communicator." After leaving church, I promise you this is almost all I hear: "You really inspire me." "Ever since you said (this), I've been doing (that)" "You're really good at taking difficult concepts and simplifying them." That wouldn't be so much of a surprise, except I tried going back to church. The church goers (mostly my peers) say the same things about me. Yet the second I step outside of church I feel so much more appreciated. The other day, a person I used to be best friends with posted something on facebook about changing the city and impact and all that,....so I called his bluff. When I did, he got upset, and some people from church backed him up. I walked away. Someone from church called me (today, actually) and told me that I am always irritating to my peers at church. And that having friends who I only have a passion in common with isn't enough in life. Religion aside, is it possible that I am always wrong? Has anyone else ever been in a place in life where you were loved by one group of people and detested by another, even though you acted the same around both?
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